I'll preface this by saying the way I was raised was to be overly polite ( sometimes to the point of not being able to voice opinions) so I'm probably a little too conservative, but my partner was raised completely differently and there's recently been a bit of a clash. The main issue is the way my partner's dad is with our son ( currently 16months). Whilst he's usually well intentioned there are a few things he does that really irritate me.
when he was younger (from around 6 months)
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calling my baby a 'twit' if he doesn't immediately turn to look at the thing that he wants him to look at, then forcibly turning his head in that direction
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shouting "hello" in a irritated/childish way if he doesn't immediately get the response he wants ie. my son's fascinated by a light and not looking at him (hard to convey the tone in text )
*putting his hand in the baby's face and covering his nose/mouth - no idea why he does this, again probably a way of forcing attention.
I know babies don't have personal space in the same way adults do and that they can't give exactly give consent but there is just something about the way my partner's dad behaves with him that irks me.
I try to be tactful in telling him not to do things by saying stuff like 'generally we try not to put things over his nose/mouth because we don't want him to get used to it and pull his blanket over his mouth in his sleep etc.' but this person just cannot take a hint!
Yesterday he decided to make a video with his camera phone of my son in his highchair using continual flash, imo it was too bright to be holding up at close range and I asked repeatedly if he would mind filming without but he ignored me (and his wife who asked multiple times) and just did what he wanted.
Listening to others is a big issue for him in general, He has an outdated sexist attitude saying he doesn't listen to his wife because has 'more important things to think about.' This attitude has rubbed off on my partner causing a lot of friction in our relationship and I really don't want history to repeat with my son. I feel like his attitude is setting a really bad example and that's more irritating than the fact that he doesn't attempt to control his burping/flatulence ect. I guess the root to my irritation is about more than just bad manners.
The thing that prompted me to post is that recently he's started pointing at my son, sticking is finger right up into my son's face and talking ridiculously loudly to get his attention. It's completely unnecessary, it's not like my son isn't socially active, he really engages with everyone around him, just maybe not always at the exact moment my partner's dad wants.
Now we're home and my son is waving his finger about, pointing at people like he's on the apprentice, something he never did before (he used to make open-handed gestures or wave/nod/smile at people to acknowledge them). It's just a little thing but it irritates me because I was always shy growing up and we're trying to do everything we can to help our son's social skills develope.
I feel like saying if it'd be rude to do to an adult you shouldn't be doing it to my son (ie. someone a 'twit' or getting right up in their face), maybe I'm just over protective but I'm so glad we don't have to visit their house for a while now Christmas is over!