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AIBU?

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Original poster

My 12 yr old needs a shave

67 replies

plastique · 02/01/2017 11:20

I asked OH to talk to and encourage our 12yo son to start shaving, as he has an obvious moustache, I see this as a father/son thing.
Son got a lovely shaving kit in his stocking at Christmas, so he has everything he needs.
OH says son just needs to leave it as long as possible...wtf?!?? Is that lazy parenting or the norm?!?!

OP posts:
fascicle · 02/01/2017 11:45

Hair removal is up to the individual, surely? You've given him the wherewithal - leave him to use it if/when he wants to.

isupposeitsverynice · 02/01/2017 11:45

Whaaaat. I've had loads of crap like hairdryers and razors from my mum as Christmas presents over the year. Op giving him a flash razor set for xmas isn't bullying. Just tell the boy to ask his dad when he's ready to start shaving and leave it at that. It'll be fine.

NormaSmuff · 02/01/2017 11:45

I asked OH to talk to and encourage our 12yo son to start shaving, as he has an obvious moustache, I see this as a father/son thing.
Son got a lovely shaving kit in his stocking at Christmas, so he has everything he needs.
OH says son just needs to leave it as long as possible...wtf?!?? Is that lazy parenting or the norm?!?!

agree, it is Not lazy parenting. it is the Norm, leave them to it.

would you encourage your DD to use tampons/shave their legs, wax even?

dollydaydream114 · 02/01/2017 11:46

I don't think it's a problem giving him a shaving kit as a stocking filler, but I think it's up to him to decide if and when he wants to use it. If he needs any shaving tips and he has a good relationship with his dad I'm sure he'll feel able to ask when he's ready.

Most men I know find daily shaving a bit of a pain and would probably have wanted to put it off as long as possible to be honest. I started shaving my legs at 12 (I've got very pale skin and very dark hair, so my leg hair was much more noticeable than that of most of my friends) and I wish I'd felt able to wait much longer.

Original poster
plastique · 02/01/2017 11:49

It's an acceptable gift, in my opinion.
It was a stocking filler along with his Match annual, football replica kit, football, selection box, boxers, socks etc

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/01/2017 11:51

When he's ready he'll use it or ask for help.

RhiWrites · 02/01/2017 11:52

Oh dear, I'm getting the impression the shaver set wasn't electric. I hope he's got good dexterity.

I think a Christmas gift to groom something he's embarrassed about wasn't avoid plan. If your 12 year old daughter was growing a moustache would you put nair in her stocking?

RhiWrites · 02/01/2017 11:53
  • a good (not avoid)
Scooby20 · 02/01/2017 11:55

Just because YOU think your ds shoild start shavu g and have decided that his dad should do the talk, does not mean that your dh or ds agree with you.

You dont get to dictate when your ds should shave or if/when your talks to him about it. Its not an issue for them. Its an issue for you.

And labelling your dhs relucatnace to talk to him as 'lazy parenting' is shitty.

grumpysquash3 · 02/01/2017 11:55

if a 12 year old shaves off 'bum-fluff' it is weeks until they need to shave again. He won't suddenly turn into ZZtop or Santa! My 15 yo still only shaves weekly, even though he technically has a 'beard'.

I don't think it matters whether it's you or DH that shows him. What matters more is that you have asked DH repeatedly and he is disregarding your wishes :(

Potentialmadcatlady · 02/01/2017 11:56

Boots have simple battery operated razors in at min for £12.. My teen got one as a replacement for his old one..does the job and easy to use...he has to be clean shaven for school and started shaving long before I would have asked him too because school asked him

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/01/2017 11:56

When he does start I'd seriously recommend an electric razor!

nokidshere · 02/01/2017 12:00

My oldest started shaving around 12/13 but only in term time because school rules say they have to be clean shaven - he is now in the 6th form and has grown a beard over the holidays!

My youngest is 15 and hasn't had to start shaving yet.

YABU to say it should be his dad who talks about it - either parent should be able to discuss this stuff

AliceInUnderpants · 02/01/2017 12:04

YANBU OP I was just planning to pin down my 11 yo DD and give her a Brazilian. Dirty body hair Hmm

Yetanothernewyearusername · 02/01/2017 12:05

An acceptable gift as a box of tampons would have been for a girl who hadn't started her periods?

Original poster
plastique · 02/01/2017 12:07

Haha!! Alice!! I needed that....

OP posts:
Original poster
plastique · 02/01/2017 12:10

I've had 3 girls, and no they never had a box of tampons in their stocking. But they would've got lovely hair, hair and make up sets

OP posts:
PickAChew · 02/01/2017 12:14

My now 13 year old has had an obvious moustache for a good year, now, but it's not at the point where it's getting long, so I'm not going to suggest shaving just yet.

Original poster
plastique · 02/01/2017 12:21

Thanks PICK.
Would you say that's generally the same for his friends too? My DS older looking than his friends. They are mainly fresh baby faced

OP posts:
Maladicta · 02/01/2017 12:22

Ds2 is 12 and has lots of body hair. We got him the most basic Philips battery shaver but left it for him to decide if/when he uses it. He's used it a couple of times and seems far less intimidating than a razor. His older brother, at 15, uses his shaver once a week.

He asked me to pluck his eyebrows to sort out his monobrow, which I did happily, but the decision/request is always his.

DJBaggySmalls · 02/01/2017 12:25

DS's Grandad very kindly taught him how to shave, and we bought him an electric razor.
Some PP seem upset, but IDK when they think its OK to mention it. If its a case of used tissues in their room or whatever, you just deal with it when it happens. same with a tash.
How is it bullying? Confused

Original poster
plastique · 02/01/2017 12:26

Thanks MALA.
So shaving kit will go to dad and Phillips battery shaver gets bought and goes on the shelf to use as and when he wants.
Phew! Sorted thanks all!!

OP posts:
mamatiger83 · 02/01/2017 12:29

I agree with OP and when my ds is ready to start shaving I would absolutely want dh or exh to 'show him the ropes' so to speak. OP obviously thinks this is an appropriate gift and DS may want to shave or she wouldn't have bought it surely??

DailyFail1 · 02/01/2017 12:29

Face shaving is irritating and painful because the hair that grows back after the first baby hair is rough and coarse. He should leave it as long as possible - both my brothers waited until 14-16 to shave & even then the first year was a strict barbershop job.

HappyFlappy · 02/01/2017 12:32

I have been told (and I don't know if this is true or not) that shaving encourages the hair growth so unless he wants to be shaving twice a day by the time he's 15 or something, he should leave it as long as possible.

Leave him. He may be very proud of his mushie.

(I was never proud of mine, but I'm a girl . . . Envy

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