To be annoyed with this host?

[forwhom]

Background:

An old friend invites a group of us to her holiday house for New Year's Eve. A lot of people pulled out which left quite a hodge podge group.

We arrived early in the day and her and her family where there. They took us out boating and we had a really nice time.

New Years night rolls around we all pitch in and cook dinner everyone gets sloshed but DH and have young kids so head to bed earlyish.

Wake up in the morning hosts mother is there but not host we potter about then go off and do our thing come back around lunch time and have a good chat to hosts mum. Host still isn't to be seen. It gets to around 2pm and we are feeling really out of place so decided to go home.

Ring host once back home to say thank you etc

Still haven't heard anything from her...

I would have loved for the mother to babysit! But she offered out of politeness and was visibly tired from a big day.

The plan was to stay at the house not to go to a bar if it was for a bar we would have brought along a nanny

Was it really that weird to go to bed early?

I'm guessing she was drunk/hungover when she saw your message and has just entirely forgotten about it now.

You're definitely over thinking this. And no, it's not weird to go to bed early if that's what you want to do. You got the nye you wanted, your friend got the nye she wanted.

I know someone like this, on quite a few ocassions I've texted to thank her for gifts, hospitality etc and in most cases she just doesn't reply. The first couple of times I fretted that I'd caused offence or something - but the invites kept coming, so now I assume it's just her way - a bit annoying but there you go.

Can I ask, genuinely, what text would you have expected back from her in reply to your thank you text?
My biggest problem with texting is that I never know when to stop, iyswim. So I wouldn't respond to thank you texts from people who'd been to my party because I wouldn't know what to say. Thank you for your thank you??

Why didn't you ask the host's mother your questions. Where are they? Are we expected to join our wait for them? Etc. You could have got answers straight away? ??

Its not difficult to reply to a thankyou text, you just say "no problem, glad you enjoyed yourself" or something. You acknowledge it otherwise people worry as demonstrated on this thread.
Its not weird to go to bed early, especially as the plans change. I wouldn't worry about it too much OP as I cant see how you did anything wrong, unless you were supposed to leave at 8pm or something and left at lunchtime?

I'm confident you're reading too much into it.

However after one friend did similar thing twice, I just don't visit any more, and I don't invite her to stay with me. It's miserable hanging around someone else's house with a bored child wondering when the hell the host is going to get up. V. remote so nowhere to go and entertain ourselves.

But that wasn't NYE and was never billed as a party night.

But Charlie do uou acknowledge the acknowledgement? Else people might worry the recipient didn't get it? Where does it end?

Can I ask, genuinely, what text would you have expected back from her in reply to your thank you text?
My biggest problem with texting is that I never know when to stop, iyswim. So I wouldn't respond to thank you texts from people who'd been to my party because I wouldn't know what to say. Thank you for your thank you??

Really? You wouldn't know what to say?

I'd find ignoring a thank you text so rude.

No, I wouldn't 'thank' them for their thank you text, just a quick, "you're welcome - was fab see you all / great to catch up!" is all it takes.

Otherwise the person left thinking you might not have received it, and therefore not thanked them at all.

So do people who acknowledge thank you texts also acknowledge thank you letters? (sorry, realise this isn't the point of OP 's OP, but wondering where the line would be drawn - I write to acknowledge things like stays and presents, and would find an acknowledgement of my acknowledgment... Odd)

Not necessarily with a hand-written letter, but maybe, depending on my relationship with that person.

But a text, yes, I absolutely would acknowledge the thank you - that's the medium of text, informal, causal, friendly.

Not acknowledging a thank you text seems so cold to me. Like you're not good friends. It takes ten seconds, and is simply extending the arm of friendship.

I always text as a normal conversation would flow, theres no need to acknowledge the acknowledgement but if someone thanks you for something in real conversation you say something along the lines of "your welcome, hope you enjoyed yourself etc." .
I wouldn't reply to a thankyou letter in writing form but I might say thankyou for your letter if I was talking to the person who had sent it, especially as it often contains more than just thankyou.

Sounds like you had different expectations of the invite from your host and she perhaps felt snubbed that you didn't go to the pub. She perhaps thought the children would be sleeping so her mum wouldn't have to do anything other than be there.
Also could the other issue that you messaged her about be the reason she hasn't responded?

Can I ask, genuinely, what text would you have expected back from her in reply to your thank you text?
My biggest problem with texting is that I never know when to stop, iyswim. So I wouldn't respond to thank you texts from people who'd been to my party because I wouldn't know what to say. Thank you for your thank you??

Really? You wouldn't know what to say?

Yes. Really.

But thank you for your reply.

Statement of the obvious perhaps but has anyone heard from her now and are you sure she is ok??