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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I an uncharitable bitch ?

164 replies

snugglecat · 01/01/2017 23:14

I live in a small block of flats. The guy opposite us is a bit of a character 30-40 pretends to be homeless in the local town but obviously has a two bed flat to himself. The police are often knocking on the door and the corridor often has the smell of cannabis but he doesn't cause me trouble. We politely exchange a hello on the stairs but that's about it.

I've noticed recently he's had the flat door propped open on occasion but there is no lights on - I suspect he's run out of electric (but has money for weed)

Today I came home and he's ran an extention cord from one of the sockets in the hall through the letterbox into the flat.

Our communal areas are well looked after and regularly cleaned, but we do pay the service charges for this . Which includes the lightening and maintenance in the cost.

Effectively he's stealing electricity and we are all paying for it (16 I'm the block) .

I have been a single mother living on the breadline making ends meet so I've known hardship. I'm since married with two children . We do OK but we watch the pennies.

I feel annoyed by him doing this but in the same way I'm annoyed with myself for wanting to report him - do I really want someone sitting in the dark with no electric , even if it is self inflicted ?!

So wwyd? Aibu to report him to the housing association ? Or should I be more charitable and turn a blind eye ?

Interested in your views !

OP posts:

Tropezienne · 02/01/2017 10:35

Just because he has some doesn't mean he's paid for it As far as I remember from my younger days, they dont give it away today anymore than they ever did. .Now maybe he's got it on tick, but he still will have to put his hand into his, or someone else's pocket to pay for it eventually won't he?

What's that got to do with it anyway? He's responsible for his bills as are you and I. Bottom line is, why should the OP, who is struggling herself to get by, have to subsidise his theft of electricity via the service charges?

Toadinthehole · 02/01/2017 10:36

If he's prepared to do that openly I would wonder what other ways he's taking advantage of those around him.

Tropezienne · 02/01/2017 10:39

he's only using a socket SF What? Its still theft, do that to your neighbour and see what happens! How much power he's consuming doesn't matter. Its theft, plain and simple. The OP or the other residents are not obliged to pay for his consumption. Do you have kids? Do you encourage them to take what isn't theirs?

Honestly some of you need to grow up a bit.

Dawndonnaagain · 02/01/2017 10:50

I agree it's still theft. The argument about encouraging children to take what isn't theirs isn't really relevant, we don't know his circumstances. A person steals shoes, having been sanctioned, to enable their child to go to school, we don't judge. If he's in a flat, on his own, with no electricity, and probably no food or heat then whilst he shouldn't be doing it, I would find it hard to begrudge this unless it were on a very long term basis. As others have said, he's probably just waiting for his money to come in so that he can top up his meter. Living on benefits isn't easy and if he is self medicating using weed, then he needs help.

Megatherium · 02/01/2017 10:56

They aren't subsidising a lifestyle, he's using a socket!

You do know that what comes out of that socket doesn't come free, don't you, cherrycrumblecustard?

It's pointless saying OP should leave it to see if it's temporary, because it's virtually inevitable that the LL will discover the sudden spike in electricity usage and will start making investigations. And why should OP pay for this man's electricity?

SaucyJack · 02/01/2017 11:07

"it's virtually inevitable that the LL will discover the sudden spike in electricity usage and will start making investigations."

Do you personally know if this is something that will happen?

The OP has said that her building is owned by a housing association, so unless they employ a person (which they might do- I don't know) to specifically monitor electricity theft over how many 100s/1000s of properties in their stock, then there isn't actually a chance that they'll notice a difference- or that the cost of him running a heater will affect the standardised maintenance charges that all tenants pay.

This things are not done on a block by block basis. It's not like living in a houseshare.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2017 11:09

If the OP hadn't mentioned weed and if the person in question was a woman, I imagine this thread would have been full of

"OP, go and bring her a flask and some sandwiches"

"Bring her some warm bedding and offer her a full fry-up in the morning".

"I wonder if her benefits have been sanctioned. Is she ok for sanitary towels etc?"

Grilledaubergines · 02/01/2017 11:16

It's the safety risk that would bother me more.

Tropezienne · 02/01/2017 11:17

It is as relevant as it always was and always will be, that is no excuse -sorry!

He has a 2 bed flat which is more than many other very deserving people have. He smokes weed which he will have to pay for and I dont care if he's waiting for benefits, (I've been in that position many times, i'm sure the OP has as well, and I've never expected to be able to help myself to what I'm not entitled to, via extension cords from common areas, or nicking things from the corner shop for that matter. just until Monday morning and my cheque arrives.) BTW do you suppose when his benefits do come, (if that even is the reason he is taking such a liberty) that he's going to go around to the neighbours with a few quid each, thank them for their understanding and pay them for the electricity he's stolen?

What if the OP or the other tenants said: fuck it I'm just going to take what isn't mine and hopefully the rest of the world will accept that if I can convince them I'm in need? If I get caught nicking a packet of nappies from Tesco's should I invoke the 'living on benefits isn't easy' line' on the Police and expect to be let off?

The Clare Barker (ooh yes but what if---) brigade will always try to excuse behavior like this, but do what your conscience, common sense and basic fairness is telling you to do and report him OP. It's so obviously the right thing to do. HNY!!!

lyricaldancer · 02/01/2017 11:19

I agree, Worra.

Also agree with the person who mentioned him more likely to be using the basic necessities like a heater, lighting and so on, rather than washing machine and fridge freezer, especially if he's living like a beggar.

I don't think the OP is uncharitable, not compared to some of the comments on the thread.

Tropezienne · 02/01/2017 11:21

It's all the same to me Worra. Weed, Woman, I dont give a toss. Theft is theft.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 02/01/2017 11:24

I would be inclined to report to be honest.

Whatever the reason, he's not coping, and hiding the issue means he won't get support. Plus.... you don't know the situation of your neighbours. A hike in your shared costs could cause similar problems and lack of money for electricity to otgera in your building.

I don't see any reason for younot to report to be honest.

You could potentially be giving the benefit of the doubt to someone who is or has been using the electricity to grow cannabis.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 02/01/2017 11:25

*others not otgera

RobinSnood · 02/01/2017 11:26

lyricaldancer unless I have missed something upthread I don't think there is any suggestion that he is actually living like a beggar, just that he is begging in town and pretending to be homeless.

alltouchedout · 02/01/2017 11:27

I wouldn't report him.
I might offer to top up his electric key. Depends on how I felt about him. There's more to assessing a person than reading a mn post. Dh would be massively against me making such an offer though.
It's years since I've seen anyone do this. I'm surprised hasn't just learned how to fix his meter or for someone else to do it tbh.

lyricaldancer · 02/01/2017 11:41

His poor living conditions would suggest that. Shelter yes, but is without heating, light, electricity.

Perhaps the OP can come back and clarify.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 02/01/2017 11:48

This is a huge fire risk. Please report it, OP. I have seen a family made homeless after their house burnt down in a fire caused by an overloaded socket blowing.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 02/01/2017 11:48

This is a huge fire risk. Please report it, OP. I have seen a family made homeless after their house burnt down in a fire caused by an overloaded socket blowing.

itsmine · 02/01/2017 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2017 11:58

I'm curious to know how a room considered too small to be used as a bedroom (and therefor exempt from bedroom tax), could be used by the OP to cram two primary school children into

But then again, having re-read the OP's update, there's no more holes in her story than in a lump of swiss cheese.

One extension lead has become two. The flat had no light and then he was powering a light in his bedroom. The lead went through the letterbox but he'd left the front door open wide enough for the OP to see through the darkness, that the second cable was in his bedroom powering a light, a mobile phone charger etc..

Did you actually enter his bedroom and look around, OP?

bunnylove99 · 02/01/2017 12:04

There are some pretty heartless posters on here for this time of year. Sure it is wrong this tenant is 'stealing' electricity from his neighbours and he should really be reported as it could be a fire hazard if he is overloading the extension cable. On the other hand the guy appears to have had his electricity cut off and is living in poverty, possibly exacerbated by benefits sanction etc. The Housing association may well have a housing support officer who can intervene to get him some emergency credit for electricity, provide food parcel if required and provide him support to help sustain hid tenancy in future. Wouldn't this be kinder and more helpful that writing the guy off as the undeserving poor?

Man10 · 02/01/2017 12:04

Surely you pay the same service charge though as a flat rate?

Every penny of electricity consumed from the communal socket will come out of the service charges. OP will be paying her share of the communal bill.

The fact that the bill is fixed for a year at a time doesn't mean that various variable costs (including electricity) aren't fully paid for by the residents. If there is an unexpected spike in variable costs it will be taken out of money budgeted for something else, for example repairs sinking fund, and the service charge will be increased at next renewal to recover the unexpected loss.

All this is assuming housing association works the same way as private.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2017 12:14

The OP has no intention whatsoever of helping this guy that she clearly looks down on.

The first two paragraphs of her opening post, are nothing but judgemental bollocks and nothing to do with anything.

She apparently only says hello to him on the stairs and yet she knows whether he has money to spend on weed or not...

Headofthehive55 · 02/01/2017 12:16

It's dangerous. A fire could so easily start, putting people's lives at risk. Often it's someone trapped in a higher flat that doesn't get out, or children.
Other people in the block may be on the breadline and possibly haven't got contents insurance - how awful if they are made homeless and loose their possessions.

UnbornMortificadoAtChristmas · 02/01/2017 12:21

Worra people can live sheltered lives. Sometimes I think it's more ignorance then judgement. It's hard to understand putting drink,drugs etc over life's basics like food and electric.

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