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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is no way my baby will ever manage a Gina Ford routine?

313 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 30/12/2016 20:38

Someone recommended the Gina Ford book to me. Read it through and just laughed! There is no chance my 9 week old DS would manage that routine!

I am wanting to get him a little more structure after Christmas but according to Gina Ford he should be sleeping through from 10:30-7am by now. DS goes no longer than 3 hours between feeds and only feeds for 5-10 mins at a time. Gina says I should be doing 20 minutes on one breast and then 10 minutes on another- how on earth is someone suppose to force a baby take this much?

Gina Ford has gone back on the bookshelf never to be read again. But if anyone has any sensible advice about how to promote longer sleeping at night, or a good day time routine then please share!

OP posts:
Joiningthegang · 31/12/2016 13:00

Gina ford routines were amazing for my first 2 - very very easy babies, good routine, never over hungry or tired (breast fed)
Mmmm me smug "I can do babies" - then I had another and I appreciated that gf isn't the answer to everything and mlhaving very easy babies was them and not me.
And they were both vile 4 year olds!!!

Philoslothy · 31/12/2016 13:02

My breastfed babies have mostly slept through the night. We do cosleep though

magoria · 31/12/2016 13:06

I think the best advice is your baby hasn't read any of the books. They don't know what they are 'supposed' to do.

If you get lucky and have a baby which easily adapts to any book method read you are well lucky.

If you get unlucky your baby doesn't adapt to the book you have read then try something else until you find what works for you and your baby.

I can't believe how long ago the she who should not be named saga was! I still have a tee from then although I would get deleted if I posted what the image was! Grin

Chaphart77 · 31/12/2016 13:18

Reading this thread is just insane! GF babies are cuddled and held and loved. She never say they HAVE to be doing this and that. You have to read the whole book to understand the principles. If you open the book and see the routines but have no idea why they are set up the way they are, it can off putting. I think it's very insulting for mums to say that GF babies are being dealt with cruelly and these mums are evil.

The comments about her way being old fashioned?? I didn't realise that babies born today know they are 2016 babies and not 1940 babies???? Do they behave different??

Most HV will recommend a routine of some kind for your baby. A bed time routine is proven to be a positive thing, hence it's highly recommended by 99% of all baby experts.

There are parts of the routine that can seem harsh like waking them up, but for us and millions of mums it worked.

Millions of others don't want to do it or it didn't work and that's fine too.

I have noticed the mums that are anti GF are the mums that are very critical and nasty but the GF followers aren't at all back. Maybe think of that. We GF mums don't tend to mention it as we get so much stick and criticism for it, but we don't give it back and scorn you for not putting your babies into routines.

We should educate ourselves and do what we think is best for our own babies and respect others even if they chose a different path. Babies are hard work, being a new Mum is tough, we all know that, I still just can't understand how us mums can't just support and respect each other unconditionally.
Happy New Year everyone x

BalloonSlayer · 31/12/2016 15:13

My earlier message went weird and I thought it hadn't posted but I used GF for all mine (apart from waking them up for the 10.30pm feed, that never worked for me, I just let them wake me up in the night when they wanted a feed) and they were all extremely placid and happy. I remember that they just never cried. And they slept at the same time so I got a break. Fab!! Of course maube they were placid and happy by nature and that's why it worked for them . . . I dunno.
Interestingly maybe I have one of the first issues and it is ALL about breastfeeding so I think it's odd that people are saying you can only do it if you are bottle feeding. The copy I have, you would think it just didn't apply to you if you were bottle feeding.

RedNoseRumble · 31/12/2016 15:16

We woke ds for the 10:30pm (or thereabouts) feed and it worked like a dream for us. Actually I say we woke him, it was more of a snoozy feed. No dramas, just worked.

BalloonSlayer · 31/12/2016 15:36

It didn't work for me because I like to be in bed by 10, so I waited up, gave DS1 the feed and the bugger woke up. So there I was, an hour past the time I wanted to be asleep with a wide awake baby - aaargh! Grin

crumpet · 31/12/2016 15:40

I thought GF was great and never did understand the vitriol on here. But then I never saw her routines as a pass or fail test either.

G1raffePicnic · 31/12/2016 16:33

I didn't know breastfeeding past 3 months was unusual/hard 14 -15 years ago. Previous poster said that's when gf and routines were big. Maybe there's a link with bf on routine and it not lasting long

I fed 8 years ago and at least 6 months was common and a year not uncommon. Did it change that much?!

croon979 · 31/12/2016 16:43

Well GF worked like a dream for us. We didn't follow it down to every minute but the main principles made sense to me.

You say you aren't sure your baby 'would manage' to follow it 🤔...ummm...imo this sums up why people have such an issue with it. People get so het up about the pressures of shoe-horning your baby into a schedule FFS and then melodramatically stating that either they or their child failed by not living up to it. I never saw it like that and that is why it worked for me. I took most of the principles that it advocates and applied them, my little one largely responded really well.

However, I would not be judgmental for those that chose other methods. Frankly, I couldn't give a toss what anyone thinks about my choices and I don't really care what choices others make provided that the child and mother are happy. I did and still do cuddle my baby all the time. The non-GF brigade are often ridiculously judgmental. Does my chuff in.

Ab1000 · 31/12/2016 16:51

Croon979. I'm with you it does my head in too. It seems strange that the anti gf brigade are so similar to the pro bf brigade. Only happy if everyone does it their way. If you choose not too you are obviously an over bearing controlling mother.

Madshiplollipop · 31/12/2016 17:07

Then, Op, don't use her suggestions. I did, in the absence of anything like consistent or even competent mw and hv care. I found it helpful and adaptable. Dd had lots of cuddles and songs from the get go. I remember being in a room full of mums with our new babies and not one of them engaged with their baby at all. I gurned, I sang, a described stuff around us. They sat gossiping. And I'm a terrible flawed GF fan. It worked for us despite my extremely poor health.
If it doesn't work for others, then so be it.

pointythings · 31/12/2016 17:08

I never followed anyone's books or routines, just went with what seemed to work and 'nudged' if I saw things going in a positive direction.

All babies are different - DD1 slept 10 till 7 from 10 weeks old (fully breastfeed), DD2 didn't go more than 4 hours until she was nearly one, also fully breastfed. Also they were both very fast feeders after the first month or so - both sides in 15-20 minutes and they grew like weeds on it.

Some babies like routine, others don't, you soon find out what kind you've got.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/12/2016 17:15

surprised this thread is still here, bet it will vanish or some posts deleted ......

gf talk is generally not rec on mn as remember years ago /maybe 10? there was a lot of talk of suing/bad mouthing of gf and methods

some of her methods/views are extreme,but can get results, but often means mum has no life/doesnt always work on 2nd/3rd children as cant stick to routine due to eldest activites/school etc

lozzylizzy · 31/12/2016 17:21

YOU need the routine, not the baby, especially during the day! Yes it could be a very loose one but just plan what you would like to achieve each day and plan it round your meal times. Your baby is 9 weeks, has very portable food and they can sleep in the pushchair.

Also try and pencil in a nice bath/pampering etc for sometime during the evening and hey presto - Routine x

Lweji · 31/12/2016 17:21

Maybe GF has packed it too. No, apparently still among us.

Maybe she's spent all her cash and MN is not afraid of her lawyers anymore.

Lweji · 31/12/2016 17:23

More seriously, this is a recent(ish) article by her (presumably) about new baby George and I can't really criticise it.

www.spectator.co.uk/2013/07/gina-fords-contented-little-prince/

Alfieisnoisy · 31/12/2016 17:28

GF is great as long as you are prepared to be flexible about the routines to fit your baby.
They didn't really work for my DS who had severe reflux so needed feeding little and often .
A relative used it with her first baby and loved the routines but she struggled to use them with the second baby and in any case felt more relaxed and confident by that time.
I am a big believer of do what works for you and your baby.

Lweji · 31/12/2016 17:29

Sorry for all the messages.

I had a niggling feeling that I had a Gina Ford book and indeed I have. From Contented Baby to Confident Child.
I didn't throw it away, but I think I bought it when DS was a few months old and I was never one to follow books religiously.

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 17:47

"I still just can't understand how us mums can't just support and respect each other unconditionally"

I respect mothers - they love their babies and are desperate to do right by them. This is part of what leads them to people like GF who promises to show them how to make their babies 'content'.

However, I have scant respect for someone who has made a fortune peddling a programme to anxious new parents, the principle premise of which is that all babies are the pretty much the same and can therefore be cared for in the same mechanistic way - setting out in very precise terms how often and how long they should feed and sleep, with fuck all acknowledgement or reference to any sort of good quality research.

'Babies should be fed every three hours' - that's GF in the article someone has just posted. Every three hours? Says who? Milk is food and drink and comfort to a baby. Most adults don't regularly go three hours without having something to eat or drink - a piece of gum, a cup of tea, a sweet, a piece of fruit, a glass of water. Most adults eat when they are hungry and drink when they are thirsty. But GF expects newborns to eat and drink to an external schedule not dictated to by their own bodies?

Rinceoir · 31/12/2016 17:49

Those who say it really worked- how did you manage to get your child to go along with the timings? As I said before my DD would ping awake from a nap at 45minutes no matter what nap extension techniques I tried. And she wanted a breastfeed every 2 hours in the day (8am-10pm) no matter what until she was 6 months. She wouldn't touch expressed milk. But she slept 10-8 at night so clearly she was fine (I was very worried about her lack of naps hence trying GF). Trying to get her to follow the routine made me miserable.

A friend from baby groups followed GF religiously. She would talk about moving her DD onto 4 hourly feeds and changing her nap times and I remember being amazed that she could just do that!

Borntoflyinfirst · 31/12/2016 17:53

Tried it when my first baby was born on recommendation (12 years ago). Made me cry. Best thing I ever did chucking it out!

GimmeeMoore · 31/12/2016 17:54

There is no us mums, its twee and whimsy that being mums produces a collective us
If I'm being honest most mums I met on mat leave,at baby group got on my tits.a lot
Gina ford made recommendations it's up to parents whether or not to follow them

G1raffePicnic · 31/12/2016 17:58

I was in agreement with much of the article except where she made out that "feed on demand" as recommended by NHS etc was some sort of silly thing to do.

She says feed for 15mins. Why? Different babies, different let downs, different speeds. Do you just stop if theyre still hungry? Do you force feed I'd they're not? Our feeds were varying lengths.

Feed every 3 hours. Why? How bizarre. Why not when they're hungry. What do gf parents do with hungry crying babies. A lot of bf babies I knew were roughly every 2 hours. Do you leave them grumbling for ab hour?

It's nice she said about support etc, just seems a surprise random suggestion about 3 hours and 15mins.

BalloonSlayer · 31/12/2016 18:00

G1raffepicnic GF stresses the point in her books that mothers used to be told to BF every 4 hours. This meant that the baby was awake at night trying to get its calories. The whole point of her routine is to get a big breastfeed down the baby every three hours so that it is full up enough to get through the night.

She also reckons that "demand feeding" is exhausting for mothers and a reason why some give up and says that the old fashioned advice about BF every 4 hours was not enough to keep the milk supply going.