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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think there is no way my baby will ever manage a Gina Ford routine?

313 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 30/12/2016 20:38

Someone recommended the Gina Ford book to me. Read it through and just laughed! There is no chance my 9 week old DS would manage that routine!

I am wanting to get him a little more structure after Christmas but according to Gina Ford he should be sleeping through from 10:30-7am by now. DS goes no longer than 3 hours between feeds and only feeds for 5-10 mins at a time. Gina says I should be doing 20 minutes on one breast and then 10 minutes on another- how on earth is someone suppose to force a baby take this much?

Gina Ford has gone back on the bookshelf never to be read again. But if anyone has any sensible advice about how to promote longer sleeping at night, or a good day time routine then please share!

OP posts:

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 19:46

"At no point are mums told to ignore a hungry baby in GF stuff. Just wrong"

No - they are told to aim for three hourly feeds.

Which suggests that this is desirable and attainable for most babies.

Are you aware of any other childcare book which suggests you aim not to give your toddler or older child a drink or a snack between meals?

Why is it desirable for newborn babies to drink every three hours, while children at school are encouraged to drink water throughout the day and often have a snack at break time? Why is it ok for adults to have tea and coffee breaks but tiny babies should go longer without any fluids?

Madshiplollipop · 31/12/2016 19:51

Mini, you have been a touch didactic on many threads about bf. I'm glad to see you acknowledging that one size does not fit all. I'm sure you don't intend to sound so inflexible but you often come across that way.

LockedOutOfMN · 31/12/2016 19:52

Agree with thebakerwithboobs. Every child is different, and so is every parent. Treat the baby like an adult and feed when he or she is hungry. Don't let any person, book, or myth make you feel like you're doing something wrong.

Burning the GF book will be wonderfully hygge, not to mention cathartic.

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 20:04

"but you often come across that way."

I've always acknowledged that breastfeeding is extremely challenging for some women and impossible or inadvisable for a small number.

Where I'm inflexible is in my view that how a baby is fed matters, to the baby and not just the mum. I know that view is extremely unfashionable but I'm not about to change my mind on it any time soon.

Scrumptiouscrumpets · 31/12/2016 20:04

What do gf parents do with hungry crying babies.

GF says to feed a hungry baby even if it's not the right time. She doesn't advocate letting a baby cry because it's hungry or tired. However - and this is why I couldn't follow her routine - she doesn't give much advice on what you're supposed to do when you've had to stray from the routine.

I do wonder if some of the posters on here have actually read the book. GF stresses the importance of cuddles, at the same time reminding you to avoid overstimulation. I think this is a very important point many first time mums don't know about. I certainly thought DS 1 needed entertaining when he was grumpy when 99% of the time what he actually needed was sleep. I also had no idea about overtiredness etc.

She is also spot on about demand feeding being a problem with some babies because they won't demand to be fed often enough.

GF has a lot of experience with babies, more than any mother will ever have, so she does know what she's talking about. But it's easy for her to say to leave a baby to cry itself to sleep, if you're not the nanny but actually the mum this is hard to do!

Her book can help parents establish a routine which imo is essential for all human beings. We all do certain things at certain times and straying from the usual routine can be unpleasant even for an adult.

In summary, I'm not a great fan of the GF method because it leaves no room for error. But I am a fan of routine and there aren't many books about that help parents establish a fixed routine.

OT: surely GF's lawyers can't demand for unpleasant comments to be deleted, what with freedom of speech and all that?

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 20:05

"Burning the GF book will be wonderfully hygge"

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 20:11

"She is also spot on about demand feeding being a problem with some babies because they won't demand to be fed often enough"

Of course, and appropriate NHS 'feed on demand' advice acknowledges that in the first 10 days some babies will need to be woken an encouraged to feed.

It's absolutely disingenuous (and another way GF tried to undermine women's confidence in the NHS) to suggest that advising women to feed on demand is fundamentally unsound on this basis. Yes - some women get poor postnatal care with breastfeeding and this can lead to problems, sometimes quite serious, but that's because they're getting, um, shit postnatal care, not because the basic advice to feed newborns on demand is unsound and that all women should be aiming for a non-evidence based 3 hourly feeding regime.

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 20:14

"Her book can help parents establish a routine which imo is essential for all human beings"

Yes, fuck knows how 99.99999% of the world's population have managed to raise happy babies without Gina Ford's clock watching baby-feeding regimes.

Madshiplollipop · 31/12/2016 20:53

Mini, getting you to acknowledge the impact of poor NHS care is like pulling teeth.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2016 21:00

I once had an enlightening conversation in Tanzania with a bloke who was horrified at alarm clocks ruling our lives. How did we manage for the hundreds of thousands of years before clocks?

WellErrr · 31/12/2016 21:00

Mine have all slept through from 8 weeks. All breastfed on demand.

All babies are different, some sleep well, some don't. No matter what you feed them.

GF talks utter rubbish in my opinion.

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 21:34

"Mini, getting you to acknowledge the impact of poor NHS care is like pulling teeth"

I call bullshit

Everyone knows that postnatal care and breastfeeding support is often inadequate and I have repeatedly spoken about this.

What I find more difficult to swallow whole are the reports of conversations where health professionals have apparently said that it would be better if babies died than had formula, and that formula is 'poison', and that women 'must' breastfeed.

raindripsonruses · 31/12/2016 21:37

Ok, I'll bite - I needed emergency rehospitalisation. My mil asked the mw how they would feed the baby id I wasn't there. Mw replied "I'm not allowed to tell you".

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 21:38

"How did we manage for the hundreds of thousands of years before clocks?"

We did this bizarre thing of looking at our babies and trying to work out what they wanted.

Thank god for progress, eh? Thank god that Gina Ford arrived on the scene and was able to tell us what all of our babies actually need, which she is miraculously able to do without ever meeting them or knowing anything about them. Or us for that matter.

Only1scoop · 31/12/2016 21:40

Op Gina Ford routine put my 8 week old into a milk Induced coma....literally couldn't wake her up, sent to hospital....
Cheers Gina

FATEdestiny · 31/12/2016 21:56

... was able to tell us what all of our babies actually need, which she is miraculously able to do without ever meeting them or knowing anything about them. Or us for that matter.

Just has happens on internet forums every day, all around the world.

raindripsonruses · 31/12/2016 22:01

FATEdestiny

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 22:04

"Just has happens on internet forums every day, all around the world."

Yes, but most people giving this advice

give it for free
don't claim to be experts.

And actually very few people say anything other than 'I did this and it worked for me' or 'have you tried XYZ?' Rather than "^do XYZ and it will resolve all of your parenting problems'.

NunntheWiser · 31/12/2016 22:05

It didn't work for us.

nunnthewiser.com/family/gina-ford-we-deplored/

raindripsonruses · 31/12/2016 22:07

Glad you're not claiming to be an expert, mini,

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 22:29

Exactly so rain but even as a non-expert, I still wouldn't dish out advice or pass on information online that didn't come from reputable sources and that I couldn't back up with reference to respected sources of evidence and information.

Gina Ford and Clare Buy My Book on the other hand have no problem with calling themselves experts, despite appearing to base their advice up on nothing more than their individual experiences with babies. No need for proper research, scientific evidence, any real training in child development or breastfeeding physiology.

Gina Ford has NO formal training or qualifications in caring for babies.

raindripsonruses · 31/12/2016 22:31

And you do it with such sensitivity and encouragement. That's what I really like.

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 22:42

Excellent blog Nunn

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 22:44

Actually I don't ever tell people what they should do in relation to feeding their babies.

So feck off with your sniping.

Jeeze, go grind your axe on someone else.

minifingerz · 31/12/2016 22:49

"Mw replied "I'm not allowed to tell you"

And obviously none of your family were aware of the existence of bottles or formula, which is why you had to ask a midwife how to feed a baby in the absence of a mother able to breastfeed or provide expressed milk.

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