AIBU to point out someone's dangerous parenting?

[Namechangeinto2017]

Saw someone on my Facebook wearing baby under their coat. Baby couldn't be seen in photo they'd captioned that baby was under the coat.

Commented on photo saying cute photo but if you're wearing baby they should be kissable and visable at all times and put a little link to a baby wearing website that has a good blog and some lovely weatherproof covers that might be better if they felt baby needed protection from the elements.

Now all the "your baby your rulz" huns have jumped on saying that it's fine and keep doing what you're doing hun and girl in question has posted about people being nasty about other people's parenting styles.

I never post anything mean, nasty or critical I'm happy to get on with parenting my little one my way and let others parent their way but i just felt it was so dangerous as baby is very tiny.

AIBU to point this out? Or should I just leave them to their potentially baby smothering ways next time?

< Prepares the flameproof clothing >

NoCapes Sorry to hear that happened! My friend had her thumb-end off the car door now that I think about it! It was the fact that they kept telling me. You know when you are told not to/or to do something that you were gonna do or not do anyway, it just makes you want to not do what they say!

I usually keep all doors closed, so wrong timing with the criticising visitor!

Poor baby :( :(

Me neither Namechange I was (and still am a bit) in shock, the doctors/paramedics/surgeons everyone all said they see it all the time though

Haha Christmas yes I know exactly what you mean

Kind intentions but as others have said I think drawing a defensive reaction form her and others piling in to defend her was inevitable following a public comment. It'll all blow over soon though so don't dwell on it too much.

I'm sorry sounds kinda precious to me. Did a baby ever really suffocate under a coat? Won't their presence under the coat bring in air above and below? Is the baby still alive? And yeah, my babies made it through childhood.

your v unreasonable. dis is her child, her rulz. get over yerself hun. xxx

Seriously -you did the right thing. Maybe PM next time so she doesn't feel humiliated in public.

50/50 here tbh, I feel ywbu to publicly embarrass this poor new mum, however if it was of genuine concern to you then a private message would have been more appropriate. Personally I would have stayed out if it, as photos dont always tell the whole story, although I can see where you were coming from.

Was the baby definitely positioned wrongly. I have a jacket that is designed for using with a sling. My babies were always positioned correctly but I am sure that they could not always been seen in a photo

I agree with your philosophy and advice OP, but just for interest here in Mexico City nearly everyone used to cover their babies up so much that the baby would have a blanket or several blankets right over their face. Some people still do. I always hate to see that, but the children survive with even their intelligence intact.

YANBU. But I would've said something privately, not on the comments section.

I saw someone forcing their month old baby to sit the other day. Not her first baby so no pleading ignorance. Just pure stupidity. But I couldn't be assed to say anything because I would've gotten the "your baby, your rules" spiel.

YANBU however I would have private messaged it

philoslothy it was just a normal coat baby couldn't be seen, she's posted a few pictures of baby in the sling without a coat on; the baby is always too low which is why I was moved to say something this time.

Yes babies can die being carried in slings there have been a few news stories of new borns being smothered while out on winter walks.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/apr/04/coroner-raises-concerns-over-baby-slings-after-boy-suffocates

Not sure how to post links but this is a recent story.

Would you have posted the same response if said baby was wrapped in corona wool?

cotton, not corona

Yanbu and if you'd pm'd her it would have gone into her 'other' mailbox so she may well not have seen it.

That article has nothing to do with a coat. The baby was incorrectly positioned in the sling.

I used to have dd2 in a sling with my coat over the top. You couldn't have told from a photo but her face was out in the fresh air.

How do you know it was a normal coat, if mine isn't done all the way up it looks like a normal coat and as I said I am sure I have pictures where the baby can't be seen.

I would have PMd her if necessary - if she was a close friend

If the cotton wool was covering the babies face and there was a risk of it suffocating chit yes

If it is hard to know what to do, I often wince when I see parents front carrying for what looks like extended periods or carrying them too low but don't have the courage to say anything and I don't want to upset them.

I wondered how long it would take for the vipers to slither out, every thread starts to take a nasty turn by the end of page 2 these days

Well I guess a mother would be expected to keep an eye on her babies well being in any position. There's always an outlier, one case is simply one case. Common sense, reasonableness. How many women sleep with their babies risking suffocation (which is much more frequent) - how many do call them out on that?

Mostly, mothers do right by their babies.

From what angle was the picture taken that you could see baby's breathing passages were covered ?

However did people manage to start arguments before Facebook was invented?

The right message delivered the wrong way is as bad or worse than no message at all. A simple PM with a link and message saying, 'I thought this might be useful for you' would have been much more effective.