AIBU in thinking the mess is fine

[cherrycrumblecustard]

The house is a mess. It's mostly washing piles drying and colouring books and toys and books, general Christmas debris.

AIBU to say it's FINE. Leave it. It's not killing anybody. Or am I being a lazy cow?

Not unreasonable no, I find tidying up during holiday periods is a bit relentless. We have food, clean clothes and clean plates, and I have time off which I am enjoying.

I'm okay as long as the living room, kitchen and bathroom are tidy and clean. The "public" rooms in other words.

The bedrooms (particularly the spares) are a bit of a disaster - full of presents, clutter, ironing...

The mess is starting to really do my head in, and attempted to tackle it earlier today.
Still looks a shit tip but at least it's less of a one!

I spent about 30-40 minutes tidying/cleaning the house on Boxing Day. It's all back to normal, completely uncluttered, hoovered, etc. NOT a boast - I used to be super messy and couldn't really see what needed cleaning. But I have learned over the years that I feel better when things are in order.

Take the basis of your living room (for example). Sofa, TV, armchairs, floor, coffee table. Find a home for ALL the crap and stuff that has accumulated on top of these items. Strip it back to those mentally and don't stop going until you get there. Leaving only stuff that should be out i.e. lamps, fruit bowls, picture frames.

Same for kitchen. Picture your kitchen with completely clear sides and table except for kettle, toaster, microwave or whatever. Then get rid of anything and everything that shouldn't be there.

It's easier than you think to get there, it does require elbow grease, determination and getting off the sofa for an hour or two But this clutter is not bolted down, it's not permanent, you can move it with your own two hands. You don't have to sit there looking at it and bemoaning it, as such.

Midlife If you genuinely don't need or want the clothes then bag them up and drop them off at the charity shop. Seriously. Life's too short to sit looking at mounds of clothes you know you won't wear and will only fetch 99p at most on Ebay if you're lucky. Just get rid of them. Pick out anything approaching "equipment" i.e. gloves, scarves, coats and jumpers that can be re-worn. Random tops etc that you just don't want or wear or need any more really can go and don't look back! You have my OK on that

How little are the kids, could you not get them to help? Or turn it into a game? I think probably now after Xmas its probably time to tidy up!

Thank you fizzy ;) can you pop around and give me moral support whilst I chuck out odd socks and random crap!

It really makes me laugh how everyone comes out on these threads saying 'I can't stand mess' like admitting you have normal clutter or 'stuff' makes you some lesser being.
No OP YANBU AND I am with you

I've tried to tidy as we go along. We've got visitors from tommorow for a few days but house still a bit messy as we were hosting on xmas day so still got pop up table in living room accumulating all the arts and crafts stuff and board games etc. Everywhere else is relatively ok. I filled some bags for charity shop from DDs wardrobe yesterday and put her new stuff away. Really need to do a trip to the dump as we have loads of boxes and rubbish etc. I think some mess is fine and part of general family life but at times i get overwhelmed with too much clutter and don't like it when we keep losing stuff. Trying to get it sorted before i go back to work as its even harder then to keep on top of. Xxx

Phew, I'm so relieved I don't have DCs to clear up after, because I am a lazy bugger!

I do have a cellar, knee deep in cardboard boxes, rowing machine and other assorted crap I can just chuck in there. By no means is my home minimalistic - it sort of evolved - but I like the notion that everything has its' place. Which helps me feel centred, if that makes sense?

But back to what you are asking OP - homes are to be lived in, not to be judged against "Happy Living magazine". I grew up in a household where my mother would clean 9-5, trailing after everybody with a dish-cloth of martyrdom in her hand. She still does the same, even though she lives in a tiny bungalow alone with my father. "So much work", she always bemoans. Really? I do the same as well as taking care of bills/finances and working while studying for my degree.

Kick back with some or OP.

I spend 48 weeks of the year with a tidy and clean house. The other four weeks, when I have leave from work, I couldn't care less what kind of tip the house is.
My mother pops round daily and tuts about the mess. I have better things to do than try to keep order when there are films to watch and chocolate to eat. Next Monday it will all be tidied up and order restored. Until then, my mother can find some thing else to winge about.

Ive got ds to find a home for Xmas presents as he when he's played with them. But I'm happy he has made a helipad for his indoor RC helicopter and it's on lounge floor, happy there's sweets and chocs on dining table (though it's plain again as Xmas stuff went way!). New bedding,pjs, slippers, dressing gown etc have been put on bds, worn, hung up in replacement of old stuff. New clothes are in drawers, bath stuff in bathroom box or drawer for when box is empty.
It's not, for me, a case of tidy it all up. More a case of enjoying having new stuff to explore and calmly restoring normality!
My tree will come down on Sunday - it's going in bin as wonky now [blush[, decs will go in box along with other stuff around. I prefer winding it down naturally rather than having an abrupt nd iyswim?
But my friend likes to systematically pack everything away on Boxing Day and just leave tree up.
We are both clean people though so clenliness of both houses is equal!

I don't think that saying "can't stand mess" equates to thinking you are some higher being, it's each to their own and equally those who don't mind mess could be thought of as being above minding clutter, because minding clutter makes you narrow minded or only focused on cleaning instead of enjoying the moment...

I do think that it's each to their own, but if you have clutter and a messy house and are happy with it - great! But if you have it and don't like it then sometimes encouragement to clean and tidy or tips to be more organised can be useful.

I still remember reading a post on MN about 6 years ago on a thread about how to keep your house tidy. One MN said "I have a tidy house, but we (DH and her) probably have less sitting-down time every evening than other people do to keep it like that..." it was a lightbulb moment for me! I used to think that cleaning/tidying would magically happen and would be kind of puzzled when after 20 mins of half-hearted tidying nothing had really changed.

To have a fairly organised, tidy house takes daily clearing of mess and clutter. That means doing something more than chucking a few pots in the sink on a daily basis.

I found eventually that I couldn't find anything or move for piles of messy bits everywhere and realised that the amount of time I spent looking for things was more than it took to tidy daily. So tidying & cleaning up daily was almost the lazier option because it took less time

If it looks like they could make an ITV programme about it then it's time to tidy up. Otherwise it's fine.

If you need motivation invite someone round, like MIL, that should get your arise in gear,

P.s. Are there people out there who never make mess, and therefore never have to tidy up.... ?! Something I regularly ponder when doing the weekly blitz.

YANBU - we have friends coming round for lunch tomorrow and I haven't started thinking about 'the mess'....I have however given thought to the menu, which is much more important

Our house is clean but not that tidy as the dining room is covered in a massive craft explosion which needed to be left just as it was when the DC went to bed, the playroom is carpeted in Playmobil & DD's room has a massive den structure going on in it. It will all be played with again tomorrow to it is a thankless task to put it all away & then set it up again and it isn't getting in anyone's way. I think it is one of the joys of the holidays to see the children's games evolve over several days. However, we do have the luxury of space. The sitting room, for example, is toy free as is the kitchen. I am also very glad we don't live in an open plan house as I can shut doors which helps the ignoring process!

If the kitchen surfaces and the loo are clean, everything else can wait.

Children appreciate your time more than they do a tidy house.

There is a balance to be found. Only you know what that is. Some people have pristine homes where every visitor is scared to make finger marks on the furniture. Others (like me) have boxes of toys all over the place, mismatched furniture and only half the walls/shelves painted.

I think it's important for a house to be welcoming and fun to play in. If your house is a happy one, then a bit of clean clutter really doesn't matter.

I am constantly tidying because I need my own surroundings to be orderly to feel relaxed and calm. It doesn't bother me in other people's homes though and I don't see any problem with leaving it at all if it doesn't bother you.

This.

Mine is clean as have stuck to my usual weekly routine and have kept on top of washing, need to do some ironing tomorrow...

What helped this year present wise was having a big cardboard box each for the younger DC, everything scattered across the living room has gone in their box of an evening. Which has made the room nicer for me and DH to relax in! I'll need to do a proper sort out and find homes for things but that can wait another day or two!

Giving kids Time is better than cleaning. My house was a tip when they were toddlers but I have fond memories of playing with them, baking, reading stories, jigsaws. It's a lot tidier now as no toys anymore but I throw their stuff from round the house that belongs to them in their rooms and shut door so I can't see it. Would hate open plan

Not unreasonable at all. That was how I felt yesterday. But today my house is back how it was before Christmas & extra clean. Spent all day getting decs back in the loft, finding homes for mine, DP & ds1s toys. Even cleared out a lot of old stuff. Everything seems to have a home now (apart from the massive games table & all ds2's toys) but I've got a lovely new toy box on order. Just hope it arrives soon! My play room is my messy room at the moment. It's clean, hoovered etc, just toys everywhere piled up for the time being. But I can shut the door & not look in there Enjoy the holidays & you'll do it when your ready.

I abandoned hopes today and rescheduled for when kids go back to school

A cautionary tale OP...

I left the chaos. I then slipped on the ice yesterday and fractured my ankle. I'm now stuck staring at the mess.