To think that a career in law is incompatible with family life?

[musingsofawannabemumpreneur]

Back story...

I'm in my late 20s, and have a 9 year old son. Currently 3 years out of 4 through a part time law degree. The deadline for applying for training contracts when I'd need one is fast approaching.

The more I look into it, the more I can't fathom how both undertaking a training contract and a subsequent career in law will be possible with family life. From what I can gather, it's all very long hours, with chances of flexible working only available to established lawyers already working for firms, late nights par for the course, and chances of promotion extremely slim for part time workers. AIBU?

I don't want to head further down this path to realise it's not compatible with having a family at all, but also don't want my degree to be wasted.

Another piece of information which might be pertinent is that I have recently had ovarian reserve tests done, which show that I have a very, very diminished ovarian reserve for my age, and so if I want more babies (which I think I do!), then I'll definitely need to start thinking about that sooner rather than later.

I'm feeling totally overwhelmed and bereft about this today. Currently sat in a shopping centre car park trying not to cry as just feel so lost with my options. Very unsure about what I want to actually do with my life!

Would anyone in the legal field be able to offer their honest advice or opinions please?

The op already said she was a company secretary. Surely paralegal would be a step back from that.

I work in house and would say it is do-able with children. I did my training contract in local government and that has led on to several other well paid in-house jobs within industry. I am fortunate in that my employer is fairly flexible and I can work from home or leave early if needed. However, I would second what Karlos has said in that in-house is not always an easy option. I work late more often than not and also do quite a lot of work in the evenings although I would still rather be in my current role than in a city job.

I have worked in law since 1996. It totally depends where you work. A lot of smaller firms will keep 9-5 hours - but the larger firms can have you doing all-nighters and weekend work - but then it will depend what sort of work you do.

I can honestly say I have never worked through the night and I have never worked over a weekend (unless I've looked at a few emails at home).

Flexible working is improving - I work almost exclusively from home, although I don't work in legal practice, I now write about law - I could earn at least double my salary in a law firm but I have a great working arrangement. But many law firms have part-time workers and people working from home. My husband works for a big London law firm and he feels like he's the only person who works Fridays for example - slight exaggeration but you get what I mean.

It's not a career I would necessarily choose with kids, but there are so many options, it can work well.

I've not mentioned public sector but they also tend to work much more regular hours and have the option of flexible working as someone has said above.

Definitely don't move in house for the hours. Don't know any in house lawyers who don't struggle with work life balance now. Other things that don't seem to work is doing a four day week - you always end up with enough work to fill 5 and you just end up doing an FT role for less pay.

mouldycheesefan - In the in-house roles I have been had in industry almost all of the company secretarial works was carried out by paralegals and never solicitors.

I would caution against the notion that in house is easier.

Quite.

I would caution against the notion that any of it easy or easier.

I dont know any lawyers that aren't over worked and under too much pressure and that is outside of the city.

I guess in-house being easier is an old misconception. Apologies for saying that. I'm only at it from the perspective of my husband's workload (partner at a top firm in NY) versus that of friends and friends' husbands.

*looking at it.

For those saying about a paralegal role, this might be a good route to look into. I don't mind about a role being a "step back" from co sec work, I would just like something I enjoy and that has a reasonable work life balance. I've really enjoyed the family law module so perhaps looking for a family law paralegal role might be a good idea as a starting point.

I think what you say is true of city law but would suggest you look at public sector law jobs.

I'm a city lawyer. 2 small DC. 11 years PQE. I'm about to resign as I also do most of the domestic stuff and it's just become too stressful to juggle it all (I have gone part time/leave at 6pm but the work expectations, deadlines etc stay the same). And the pay rises tail off after c5pqe unless you go for partner which requires horrendous hours.

However, I believe public sector is a very different story. The headline pay may be less but it's more sustainable long term if you want to have more DC.

It's incredibly difficult to balance a career in law and family life unless you're going to make some significant career compromises.

I run my own firm (as do others on this thread). It has its own disadvantages. The benefit is that it gives you a degree of flexibility. But of course you have to have a good client base and be at least 8 years qualified.

Having been a solicitor for 20 years now I would say don't go into it unless you are absolutely determined to make it work.

I spend a lot of time working out of hours. As does DH who is an equity partner in a large regional firm. He has taken two weeks' holiday this year and works at home most evenings.

The money can be good even outside of London but you really do work hard for it and are never off duty.

A typical paralegal in the regions won't be on much more than minimum wage.

And the paralegals at DH's film work crazy hours (partly because they're trying desperately to prove their worth for a training contract)

And the paralegals at DH's film work crazy hours (partly because they're trying desperately to prove their worth for a training contract)

Yes. Even not being qualified: Paralegals get worked like pack horses on a minimum wage. I went through that stage myself.

I work in house 9-6. I refuse to compromise family life for a job.
I also know many people who have left the legal profession.

Emma, yes so there is no point in op doing the lpc to become a paralegal when she already has years of company secretary experience

Honestly, if you have experience in a Company Secretary role then I think your original plan of using the degree to improve career progression in that field would be the best plan.

I'm a lawyer in the city. It's very doable - but a big part of that is because DP is a SAHD. If I had to juggle nursery times etc, it would be harder.

Smaller firm and flexible working could make it work for you if you don't have a stay at home partner. It also depends on the area of law I think; some are longer hours than others.

Have you considered a blended legal/cosec role? I used to work in the charity sector and these were commonplace (admittedly over five years ago). Salary expectations may be an obstacle I though.

I missed your post about having been a Co Sec OP!

Paralegal is not a step back from being a Co Sec depending on the scope of the role and the company. The hours, pay and responsibility can be different from place to place. Paralegal work is potentially broader in scope than co sec work depending on where you fit into the legal team and there can be potential to move into a legal counsel type role over time with increased responsibility. The UK requirements to have a practising certificate as an inhouse lawyer are stricter than they are on the continent so I don't think you can call yourself legal counsel without a practising certificate but the quality of work as a paralegal can be interesting and as in most jobs if you show willing and potential, you'll be given more challenging things to take on if the team think you can handle it.

If you're looking for balance then the trick is to find a job you can do relatively easily in a positive environment and focus on that more than job titles at least whilst your children are young.

Sounds like you've got some good options OP and are feeling perkier about them, good luck!

Should add I'm talking more about inhouse paralegal roles than law firms. Can imagine if you're a paralegal in a City Law firm hoping to get a training contract it might be more political/demanding.

DH is in a commercial set. Works 7.30-9.30 most days, often more and has done for 30 years. When the dc were small my life was a bit like being a single patent without money problems. Often worse taking account of snide comments, esp if one of the dc were ill and dh was in court. Early labour was interesting when his clerk waited outside court to put him straight in a cab.

He asks all applicants "is there anything in your life that would prevent you from giving this job at least 100%, 100% of the time.". Most women switch to something more flexible if the have children - many men and women fall by the wayside.

DH says he couldn't have done it with a less supportive/more demanding partner. He does it because he loves it.

I'm a solicitor in the city and work FT. I have 2 children age 11 and 2 and a decent work life balance, so it can be possible.
The firm I work for does mainly litigation work for insurance companies who are notoriously tight with the rates they pay. The downside is (logically) that the salaries in this field are low. I earn about 90k including bonus which is considered peanuts in the city. (I'm an Associate.)
But as a reflection of this we do get a great work/life balance. I leave between 4 and 5 most days and work from home one day a week.

I know loads of people (male and female) who've given up city law when they have children as it's just not been compatible for them. I'm glad I haven't had to as I love my job.

I work in HR (employee relations /advice to be specific) and advise on employment law related matters every day- you need a good working knowledge of employment law and the ability to relate it to business objectives. Would this type of career appeal OP? It can be hard to get part time work but not impossible (like many jobs), and IME it's not a crazy working hours type of job. Very female dominated which I don't think would be the case if it was completely family un-friendly.

In house legal at insurance companies work shorter days as the industry is very long lunches and boozy so if you don't do a long lunch and stay at your desk you can leave on time. Might be worth trying to specialise in insurance when you qualify and then move in house. From my experiences of course and experiences of colleagues (apologies to anyone chained to their desk in in house insurance firms)