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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to go for a 2-3 hour walk when I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have pelvic and hip pain?

87 replies

Mouse510 · 29/12/2016 09:06

We are staying at the in laws and the suggestion for today's activity is a long(ish) walk. I skipped the shorter but uphill walk on the day we arrived as I was pretty sore. Yesterday's 40 min walk caused me quite a lot of discomfort. I'm really not in the frame of mind to put on a happy face for today's much longer walk. The route actually sounds nice but I won't enjoy it when every step is sore. There had also been no chat about this before we came to visit so my footwear option is wellies which are not the most supportive. Should I just suck it up or is MIL being a bit thoughtless? I'm quite happy to stay back and read my book while everyone else goes out and enjoys it.

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 29/12/2016 15:02

Gosh, I'm the total opposite - I was out walking between 1-2 hours every day until I was 39 weeks pregnant

How lovely it must be to be you.

OP-you are totally not being unreasonable. Is that all your in laws do and does no one else get a say in the activity?!

DixieNormas · 29/12/2016 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iminshock · 29/12/2016 15:08

To this day I can't walk properly due to being dragged out on a walk by friends who got us lost.

They are child free fitness addicts.

I wouldn't go along with your mil pregnant or not.

Suzysuz · 29/12/2016 15:10

SPD is definitely no joke and isn't really commonly known about / understood unless you've had or have it.

My physio said usually walks and exercise would be advised for similar type pains however with SPD it's the exact opposite or you can really make yourself worse, rest and keeping knees together as much as possible is advised.

NameChange30 · 29/12/2016 15:14

Kel
"couldn't be one of them pregnant women who puts their feet up all day"
ODFO with your implied judgement of pregnant women who rest. Most of us rest because we HAVE TO not because we're lazy as you seem to be implying.
FFS, even women who have been pregnant themselves are judging pregnant women on this thread, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
I am mostly exhausted and in pain, and I find it extremely frustrating not to be able to do even half the things I want to, so comments like those make me want to give someone a slap.

Footinmouthasusual · 29/12/2016 15:15

tool Grin your post was funny love.

Tell your mil to do one op. God I hate walking pregnant or not! Much prefer the DVD option.

Thankfully my dils agree Grin

formerbabe · 29/12/2016 15:19

Gosh, I'm the total opposite - I was out walking between 1-2 hours every day until I was 39 weeks pregnant

Putting pregnancy aside a moment...where on earth did you find the time to walk for up to two hours a day?! I was working full time during my first pregnancy...and my second pregnancy, I had a toddler to look after.

SquinkiesRule · 29/12/2016 15:20

I hope you didn't go OP. after 30 weeks I had a lot of pelvic pain, walking the dog round the block for 20 minutes used to start my contractions, resulting in me needing a lie down to get it to stop, both boys born at 37weeks after a brisk walk. I still have some hip and pelvic pain occasionally and it's many years later.

OhhBetty · 29/12/2016 15:22

Surely even if you weren't pregnant and just didn't fancy it you could just politely decline anyway. Getting used to saying no now will make it easier to say no once the baby arrives Xmas Grin good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

Aeroflotgirl · 29/12/2016 15:22

No sorry I am not up for it, me and baby will rest at home thanks.

DimsieMaitland · 29/12/2016 15:24

SPD is bloody awful - I had it twice. By the end with DD2, turning over in bed or stepping into the shower made me sob with pain. It turned out I had underlying issues (one leg longer than the other which had caused 30+ years of alignment problems) and only the fact that I did nothing (no swimming, stairs, vacuuming, trolley pushing, etc) plus a heavy duty support belt, swivel cushion for the car, and intensive physio following the birth prevented major damage. People can be funny about exercise in pregnancy. I was told by so many people during the second pregnancy that swimming would be excellent for the condition - in reality an aquanatal class in my first pregnancy was the acute cause of my first symptoms. All that kicking and stretching was the worst thing I could have done.

Say no.

AnArrowToTheKnee · 29/12/2016 15:40

DS2 is 7 weeks and I still have hip pain, no way would I be going for a long walk. Listen to your body and don't overdo it, maybe the neices could stay behind to keep you company if they really don't want to go?

dailymaillazyjournos · 29/12/2016 15:49

I really hope you didn't go. Some people have no imagination and just cannot see things from anyone else's viewpoint or think to ask them whether they would actually LIKE to do whatever it is they are proposing.

My grandma always used to say 'Please yourself then at least you know one person will be happy.' Not always do-able but in this case it absolutely is. Don't be persuaded to go or guilt tripped into it or whatever. It's not sensible and it's not necessary for you to give in to them here.

Caterina99 · 29/12/2016 16:25

I was lucky and never had any hip pain like this in pregnancy, probably could have managed this walk at 30 weeks (if I wanted to). However pregnant or not you should be able to say you just don't fancy it today and stay at home. Pregnancy makes it even easier as you just explain it causes you pain and you can't go. End of

Original poster
Mouse510 · 29/12/2016 16:26

Thanks for all your thoughts, it's nice to be reassured that I wasn't being a princess Wink

We didn't join in and instead came home a bit earlier. Now happily ensconced by the fire with a good book.

OP posts:
FoggyMorn · 29/12/2016 17:01

YANBU! Stay at home. I'm hyper mobile and had SPD with each pregnancy- even when not pregnant I have to watch what I'm doing wrt walking or I can suffer days of pain. Family outings are often a sore point, pardon the pun Grin but it's really not worth the suffering just to keep the peace!

Basicbrown · 29/12/2016 17:43

It isn't unreasonable to take a pregnant walking I'm quite Confused at the people who think pregnancy is incompatible with walking.

However if you have SPD it's a bit like taking someone for a 3 hour walk who is waiting for a hip replacement. If mil knows about the SPD she is being incredibly thoughtless op.

Laiste · 29/12/2016 17:53

Good :)

KERALA1 · 29/12/2016 18:09

Exactly wookie. my dd1 is 10 and I still get twinges. I ended up on crutches unable to walk. Take spd seriously if you haven't had it you won't understand.

daisychicken · 29/12/2016 18:31

OP - glad you didn't go for the walk and have had a relaxing time instead.

Like some of the PP's, I had SPD in both my pregnancies and still have severe pelvic, lower back and coccyx pain 12 years after ds2. It's a major disability for me. I had friends who had no issues during pregnancy and walked for miles right up to their birth dates so I can understand why it can be hard for some people to realise that not everyone has easy pregnancies so for the next 10 ish weeks, be strong and firm with what you can/can't do.

Catsize · 29/12/2016 23:26

Oh no daisy, I am still suffering with this 5yrs later and keep thinking 'surely it will stop soon'. Perhaps not. Sad
Just out of interest, I am convinced that one of the reasons DS was an induction 16 days late was because I was bed-bound for weeks with SPD. Did anyone else with SPD have similar problems? Have blamed myself for not forcing through the pain and being vertical more for the fact that his birth was awful.

Lilibob · 30/12/2016 05:17

I had spd both times and both pregnancies were induced at +13 days and + 11 days. I did force myself through the pain and have caused major problems and am now going through physio. My first birth was horrific, my second was much better although ended up in theatre with retained placenta. Don't beat yourself up you did the right thing to rest and pushing through definitely didn't help me in any way

FoggyMorn · 30/12/2016 08:30

Interesting thread- I had SPD in all 4 pregnancies, two post term inductions, one early planned section (only one spontaneous, and very fast, labour).

I wonder how many SPD sufferers have diagnosed (or undiagnosed) collagen disorders/hyper mobility syndromes. I suspect that for a lot of women, being pregnant unmasks these conditions...

deckthehellswithballsofholly · 30/12/2016 08:41

By 30 weeks with both pregnancies I had lost the ability to walk and was using a wheelchair.
A little bit of exercise really doesnt help. The only form of exercise that did help was an once a week hydrotherapy session. That I had to be hoisted into the pool for.

Enjoy your book and fire OP

MrsBobDylan · 30/12/2016 08:58

Women who exercise into late pregnancy can suffer an extreme form of smugness that may never improve. You have been warned.

Stick that DVD on op.

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