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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to go for a 2-3 hour walk when I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have pelvic and hip pain?

87 replies

Mouse510 · 29/12/2016 09:06

We are staying at the in laws and the suggestion for today's activity is a long(ish) walk. I skipped the shorter but uphill walk on the day we arrived as I was pretty sore. Yesterday's 40 min walk caused me quite a lot of discomfort. I'm really not in the frame of mind to put on a happy face for today's much longer walk. The route actually sounds nice but I won't enjoy it when every step is sore. There had also been no chat about this before we came to visit so my footwear option is wellies which are not the most supportive. Should I just suck it up or is MIL being a bit thoughtless? I'm quite happy to stay back and read my book while everyone else goes out and enjoys it.

OP posts:
ChuckSnowballs · 29/12/2016 09:35

Why do people do this? Force others to join in?

I'd say 'why don't those that want to go, go. And those that don't don't. Simples. I don't so anyone else that doesn't want to go is welcome to stay behind with me.'

dingdongthewitchishere · 29/12/2016 09:47

YANBU to refuse!
When pregnant, listen to your body. No drama, just say no thanks.

However, don't push for your nieces to stay indoors. Kids need to exercise, they sleep better after a long walk. Mine are a nightmare if they don't, so I would not be amused if their aunt started an argument whilst trying to keep them indoors to watch a dvd. It's the main reason why we had a dog in the first place.

PeachBellini123 · 29/12/2016 09:50

YNBU. I'd need to go to the loo 20mins in anyway even without the pain..

madgingermunchkin · 29/12/2016 10:14

I've just realised I've got myself muddled in my post.

You are most definitely not being reasonable, and your mil is being thoughtless.

I worked nights last night so am fuzzy with tiredness

ThePeoplesChamp · 29/12/2016 10:21

OP - I am 29 weeks pregant. An AVID gym goer, competitive in all sports beyond belief, so by no means exercise fearing .........I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN KICKED IN THE VEE-JAY BY A THOUSAND BRATTY CHILDREN IN RETRO ROLLERBOOTS. I would maim anyone that tried to make me join in on a long walk. Grin

Proceed with unapologetic, non negotiable refusal. And please - show them my response.as proof you are not over egging things.

Please, stay in and stay cosy.

user1471545174 · 29/12/2016 10:28

Why the fear and reticence? You shouldn't have to worry about saying no to this!

No, can't do it, still exhausted from yesterday's, thanks!

lilybetsy · 29/12/2016 10:50

with DC3 I had fierce contractions every time I did ANYTHING at all strenuous. This was from about 16 weeks. He was a transverse lie baby and I could barely walk by 32 weeks

YADNBU. Rest.

toolonglurking · 29/12/2016 10:58

Gosh, I'm the total opposite - I was out walking between 1-2 hours every day until I was 39 weeks pregnant, it keeps me supple, sane and stopped me from sitting on my arse eating biscuits.
I realise I was lucky that I didn't have to much pain, but I'm quite amazed at just how against everyone is about going for a walk!

BreatheDeep · 29/12/2016 11:10

No way would I have gone on a walk with the hip pain I was in. I'm 12 postpartum and managed an hour walk a couple of days ago but that caused pain. The midwife warned me it might not pass immediately after birth and it hasn't.

toolonglurking you were indeed lucky you didn't have hip pain. And that's why you can't understand why everyone is saying she shouldn't go.

PeachBellini123 · 29/12/2016 11:14

Toolong - I'm able to drive and walk around at 40+1 weeks. Just because we can do it doesn't mean every pregnant woman can, or indeed should.

SirChenjin · 29/12/2016 11:15

Don't go - SPD/any other form of bad pain plus a pregnancy does not make for an enjoyable walk.

too - if you haven't had SPD/bad pain in pregnancy then it's probably better that you don't express your amazement to people who have/do Smile

Kel1234 · 29/12/2016 11:16

Does she know you are in pain either your hips? If so then she is being unfair asking you to go in the first place.
Being pregnant wouldn't bother me personally, as I was still using public transport, doing cleaning and washing and ironing until I went into labour, and couldn't be one of them pregnant women who puts their feet up all day. But the pain issue would make it a no for me

BarbaraofSeville · 29/12/2016 11:25

I'm not pregnant, like walking and am making a point of going out every day in the holidays for a good 2/3 hour walk, but from the information in the OP could see that it was obvious that it would be best for the OP to give it a miss today.

She is not saying that all pregnant women should take to their beds, just that she doesn't feel up to quite a long walk today.

Isetan · 29/12/2016 11:27

Some people enjoy walking (I'm not one of them and only do it if it's in pursuit of a bargain and then I can walk for hours) but if it's not your thing or if it has a detrimental effect on your physical health, then you are entitled to say no.

Do you and your H make a habit of tip toeing around your MIL? If so, you are going to have to rethink that strategy when you become parents, or you will be walked all over.

sandragreen · 29/12/2016 11:30

No, I wouldn't go, take it easy.

What is DH excuse going to be though Grin ?

shiveringhiccup · 29/12/2016 13:37

Pelvic Partnership is a great website explaining pelvic pain. Some people don't get it! Take care of yourself and whatever you do, don't push yourself or try and keep going through pain. It will make it worse and last longer. And seek help! It doesn't necessarily go away after the birth (speaking from sad crutchy experience...)

Laiste · 29/12/2016 14:36

How did it go OP?

SilentBatperson · 29/12/2016 14:43

Why on earth would you be amazed toolong? You wouldn't be if you had SPD, believe me!

Catsize · 29/12/2016 14:48

As someone who ended up in a wheelchair thanks to SPD, I say don't go.

Wookiecookies · 29/12/2016 14:50

SPD is awful, I had it very severely in both of my pregnancies. I actually have permanent pelvic alignment issues now as a result, and serious hip pain on the right side. Do not mess with this OP, it can cause lasting problems if you push yourself. If your body is saying no, listen.

Wookiecookies · 29/12/2016 14:52

And Toolong, your response is a bit like saying, "I love to excercise, never had a broken leg, but if I did I would just walk it off." I am sure you didnt mean to come across rude and unsympathetic, but it kind of did tbh.

boomshakkala · 29/12/2016 14:53

I wouldn't.. but then the exercise might help your pain?

Wookiecookies · 29/12/2016 14:55

Boom... it really wont and in fact that is advised against by physiotherapists with regards to this condition.

expatinscotland · 29/12/2016 14:56

'I realise I was lucky that I didn't have to much pain, but I'm quite amazed at just how against everyone is about going for a walk!'

And the award for Dense Post of 2016 goes to . . . .

swizzlestar · 29/12/2016 15:02

Op, I really hope you haven't gone and are currently resting?!

I had spd quite badly with my last pregnancy and was on crutches from 20-ish weeks. Do not do anything that you don't have to that can aggravate it! You've still got another 10 weeks to go, and you really don't want to end up in constant agony.

My ds is 5 in a few days and although my pelvis and hips are hugely improved, I still struggle and have pain sometimes.