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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think some doctors are really arrogant?

116 replies

forestsofthenight · 28/12/2016 18:36

I know some are wonderful: I did have a lovely GP once but as a whole does anyone else find them horribly arrogant? Just been in hospital and without fail was spoken to like shit by doctors while the nurses were lovely. Has anyone else found doctors to be so up themselves?

OP posts:
Bobochic · 28/12/2016 18:38

Yes, I had some poor experiences with hospital doctors when my aunt was in hospital earlier this year.

OhStuffingBalls · 28/12/2016 18:39

My GP is lovely, but my experience having both my children was that the doctors were ghastly people - cold, rude, dismissive and generally treated me like an idiot and/or a lump of meat - whereas the midwives were wonderful.

treaclesoda · 28/12/2016 18:40

I've been in hospital more times than I care to remember and thankfully I've only come across two or three doctors in all that time who were patronising and arrogant. I've mostly found doctors to be much more compassionate than nurses when it comes to pain relief.

Cherrysoup · 28/12/2016 18:40

As a whole? No, yabu. I think, especially in hospitals, that they are running round trying to see everyone, sort everything. My anaesthetist came to see me at silly o'clock, having just come out of surgery, to check how I was feeling and to check for allergies etc for an early surgery. He could have gone home and checked in the morning, but he thought he'd come and see how I was.

Gizmo79 · 28/12/2016 18:40

Yabu. They are extremely overworked and as I work with many of them there is only a few who I would consider as being in any way 'arrogant'.
Most are lovely and I don't think you realise their workloads.
Ward manager (nurse) viewpoint......

NeedANewCareer · 28/12/2016 18:40

I'm sorry to hear you've been unwell recently and that you felt poorly treated.

I'm sure the doctors and nurses all worked very hard to care for youbduribg this horrendously busy time of year. Morale amongst doctors is low due to many factors - that plus the stress of the extra workload during this time of year can make some people less polite and chatty than they would like to be.

I really don't like the tone of your OP, it's just unpleasant and does nothing to help the morale issues I mentioned above. If you would like to feedback to the team who looked after you then please contact PALS as I'm sure they'll be able to deal with the situation more constructively than anyone on here.

ArgyMargy · 28/12/2016 18:42

You've put "some" in your title and now you seem to be talking about doctors generally. Which do you mean? Of course "some" doctors will be arrogant, just like "some" estate agents, checkout staff, bus drivers, teachers, builders, nurses, barristers, barristas etc etc will be arrogant. YABVVU to sweepingly say that doctors are up themselves. I'm sorry you had a bad experience in hospital but doctors often/increasingly don't have time to spend hours with patients telling them how lovely they are.

teainbed · 28/12/2016 18:42

YABU. 200,000 doctors in the UK and you feel you can call most of them arrogant?

Waffles80 · 28/12/2016 18:43

Doctors are people.

Some people are arrogant.

Ergo, some doctors will be arrogant.

YABVU to proclaim that all doctors are arrogant.

Gingerbreath · 28/12/2016 18:43

I think it's pot luck whether you get a good one or bad one. DM and I are at the same surgery and my GP can't be arsed. I recently came back from a holiday in south America where I'd been bitten senseless by mosquitos, with blisters on my tongue, swollen glands, a red raw throat and sores on my lips. My GP told me I had a viral infection and gave me anti viral Meds without even taking my temperature. DM went to hers with a sore wrist and was sent for an xray the same day!

Fallonjamie · 28/12/2016 18:43

Some are. Many aren't.

Bailey101 · 28/12/2016 18:43

I've come across both really lovely and incredibly twatish doctors. I don't think there's a higher number of arrogant doctors then in any other profession, but you tend to meet them when emotions are running high and you're more likely to pick up on certain things that would normally pass you by.

Beewhisperer · 28/12/2016 18:44

The docs that delivered my dd were wonderful. Both came to see me the morning after she was born. Not because they needed to check on me for medical reasons but just because they were nice and wondered how I was.

Crumbs1 · 28/12/2016 18:44

I think you are generalising and being unfair. They are entitled to think their medical degree and postgrad training provides more knowledge and insight than your googling. They work incredible hours for very mediocre reward. They are treated poorly often with no control over leave, weekends or even where they will be working. People are incredibly rude to them sometimes and they miss breaks because the accident and emergency is full of people with a cough or bellyache they have had for five days.

Original poster
forestsofthenight · 28/12/2016 18:45

I'm sorry if you felt I was just having a dig! I wasn't - I just noticed the same arrogant attitude amongst all of them. I had a lovely GP once and the nurses were absolutely lovely so perhaps I was just unlucky! Xmas Smile

OP posts:
GreenTureen · 28/12/2016 18:45

I think some medical staff are - but i've not noticed it more with Dr's tbh.

The absolute worst I experienced was the sonographer (sp) at ds2's 20 week scan. I don't know if they're Dr/nurse grade or something else entirely?

She shouted at me and gave me a full two minute rant about how superficial I was...after he'd managed to close his mouth, dh had to tell her to stop talking or we'd be leaving and putting in a complaint. This was in response to me asking the sex of the baby, at the end of the appointment when she was clearly just about to pack up and hadn't mentioned it.

yorkshapudding · 28/12/2016 18:46

Some people are arrogant.

YABU to make sweeping generalisations about an entire profession. There are nice people and unpleasant people in all walks of life.

Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 18:47

Most arrogant person I've had the misfortune to work with was a highly regarded surgeon. He threw a scalpel at a scrub nurse as the theatre was too hot for his personal liking.

Also the other surgeon who used to sing happy birthday as he surgically aborted later term foetuses.

Monstrous behaviour.

Borntoflyinfirst · 28/12/2016 18:48

Almost all doctors I've encountered (not too many to be fair) have been perfectly fine however when I was having my 3rd baby turned from breech position the doctor was very arrogant and made me, DH and the nurses feel on edge. Apparently he was known for it. Fast forward a number of years and he treated me for another gynae issue. I asked him if he was the doctor that turned dd and he said 'probably as I was the only one any good at it'. He got stuck and I ended up with ecs so he wasn't brilliant in my opinion!

Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 18:49

There is something about doctors that dehumanises some of them.

shinynewusername · 28/12/2016 18:57

Also the other surgeon who used to sing happy birthday as he surgically aborted later term foetuses. Monstrous behaviour.

Or perhaps an attempt to deal with the emotional impact of performing an incredibly distressing procedure in order to save the life of the mother or prevent her having to carry a nonviable baby to term? Gallows humour is an important coping mechanism and not the same as being arrogant or cruel - provided of course that it is not in front of the patient/family.

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2016 19:00

For me it was the opposite too, when I had my daughter a couple of the nurses were deeply unpleasant, intolerant and quite frankly rude in a couple of instances and the doctors were all very compassionate and attentive.

Of course there was many good nurses, just a couple of bad apples in the nursing staff, and those bad apples i have to say were hated by the other nurses and by the doctors, who made it obvious, by the disdainful looks on their faces, rolled eyes, or even comments like "I'm so sorry about her". Or "I don't know why she chose to be a nurse" and even "some people shouldn't be nurses, I'm so sorry".

I had one bad doctor who gave me an internal, my sixth in sixth hours and they could not feel my cervix and he hurt me by being rough and tying to reach it. The midwife held my hand as he examined me, which shoild have been a red flag, and when he left she said kindly " you can cry now, everyone does" and I did. He walked back in at that moment and was so genuinely shocked. Asked why I was crying in bemusement and I explained it was because he had hurt me and he apologised looking shocked and I got the impression I was the first woman who had got the chance tell him.😞

Original poster
forestsofthenight · 28/12/2016 19:00

I am not adverse to gallows humour but that did make me feel a bit ill.

OP posts:
Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 19:01
  • no, it was done in a mocking way. It wasn't gallows humour. He would do it categorically every time as routine.
Tallulahoola · 28/12/2016 19:02

This is only based on my experience so I'm not saying this is true of everyone but I've really noticed it.

I'm middle class, speak quite nicely, am reasonably knowledgeable about health issues. I have friends who are doctors. Other family members are the same. We've all had a fair bit of dealing with hospital doctors and have always found them polite, respectful, talk to us as social equals who can understand what they're telling us.

MIL and FIL are working class, not knowledgeable at all about health stuff, think of doctors as posh people who they couldn't have a social conversation with in a million years. And the difference in the way they get treated by consultants and registrars is really, really marked. Sometimes patronising, sometimes not but they always seem to get a lot less information and don't get the same level of respect. That doesn't apply to nurses though, who have always been unfailingly kind to them.