AIBU to think some doctors are really arrogant?

[forestsofthenight]

I know some are wonderful: I did have a lovely GP once but as a whole does anyone else find them horribly arrogant? Just been in hospital and without fail was spoken to like shit by doctors while the nurses were lovely. Has anyone else found doctors to be so up themselves?

[blueshoes]

Some doctors (like the one who took charge of the treatment of dd's heart condition) are practically saints and boffins combined with no idea of how godly they are. That is what stands out to me about doctors. Like any other profession, there will be some who are arrogant, unfeeling, incompetent.

Although I have not encountered any extreme examples of this, people who choose medicine may be lured by the power trip as they stand in a very unequal relationship with patients. Thankfully, most arseholes are not clever or hardworking enough to be doctors.

My experience is I have encountered night or supply nursing/midwifery staff to be sadists. Those I would say got off on the power trip.

[haveyourselfamerry]

"Power base grin

That would be wonderful, it would save me being plucked out of bed at 3am to deliver a baby"

You will miss the certainty of being needed though. Not at 3am, but generally, you will.

I don't think we will do face to face GPappointments in 15years. The ratio of things GPS do better than computers will have changed too much.

I wish it wasn't the case as then my own profession would still be intact!

[phoenix1973]

Definitely. Yanbu.
One example, my best friends teenage daughter with a congenital heart condition was felt up during a routine exam.
It was controlled/engineered by the male doctor.
Normally, her mum always goes in with her. However, on this occasion she was told No by the female nurse. At this point, personally, I would have insisted on going in but it wasn't me in the situation.
The girl concerned came running and shouting out of the exam room, reported it right away. The police got involved but in the end, decided his word against hers, closed ranks and did nothing.
Both medical staff were of one religion known for poor female rights.
That's one example. I've got loads.

[TurnipCake]

Power base

That would be wonderful, it would save me being plucked out of bed at 3am to deliver a baby

[SoDownSoGone]

YABU I had 4 doctors in my immediate family. 1 SIL and 3 BILS. They are the most over worked people I've ever met. I've known one of them to do a full day in surgery and pass out. I don't think people understand how difficult their jobs are and the hours they work. Also how much they actually do care and how hard it is to do their jobs properly .

[Lynnm63]

Some Drs are complete twats some or lovely and some in between. I've been in hospital a lot so I've encountered more than my fair share. I remember one consultant refucing a registrar to a gibbering wreck. The reg was lovely, had a fab bedside manner and knew his stuff. This twat of a consultant barked at him for an update on my condition. He couldn't get the answer out quick enough. I told consultant if you stop shouting and listen he'd tell you. I'd quite like an update on my condition if you don't mind. Consultant was so shocked he did shut up. I met the reg a few years later he was the ivf consultant who helped me. He was still lovely.

[JustWoman]

A year ago I had breast lumps removed and I can't fault a single member of staff that I came across, from the receptionist who booked me in to my go when I found the lump, right to the the surgeon who removed. Everyone was lovely, I could see they were overworked and they were tired but they were fucking brilliant with me. I didn't feel like just a number. I got teary just as I was about to have the anaesthetic to go under, the canula wouldn't go in right and it really hurt and mixture of tiredness and emotional stress saw me get a bit teary, I wasn't sobbing just had tears rolling down my face, the surgeon stopped what he was doing with the paperwork and came and sat next to me and held my other hand and told me that he'd look after me, that I'd wake up in a few hours and it'll be over and I'll have coffee and toast and be looked after. I felt so safe and feel bad that I can't even remember his name.

My mums experience of recent hospital stay total opposite, laid on floor for five hours in agony as she'd fallen and had back injury, she was panicking as her legs were numb and even when an ambulance did arrive, she had another several hour wait at a and e to be admitted, during which time the paramedics and to stay, meaning another ambulance off the road. Mum was pissed off, and some of the staff were snippy, but to be honest I don't blame them, and nor did she, she said she'd have told most of the patients dishing out abuse and physically threatening staff to fuck right off. On top of being massively overworked, they are getting the abuse from patients pissed of at the waiting times when they probably just want to get to the next patient as quick as they can so that the ambulance is freed for the next person, who couldactually die waiting.

I dunno, When we have an appointment we are seeing a small snapshot of the GP and their style, some will be arrogant and some may be having a very shit day of trying to manage a high amount of patients on a low amount of resources, and be on a very long shift. i think the NHS staff are treat way more shitty by patients and their families in general, than patients treat Shitty by GPS.

I don't think we will have an NHS in the future, an arrogant doctor is better than no doctor if he saves my life tbh (I know it shouldn't be a choice)

[SpookyPotato]

My FIL was a consultant and would agree with you (including himself). He says most doctors are up themselves, have a god complex and are a bit autistic to be able to do what they do so don't have the best bedside manner. I've had a mixed bunch in my experience and met some lovely ones, really caring... others who made me feel awful while I was in a vulnerable position. Nurses however have all been really lovely.

[BlurryFace]

At my Dr's surgery, if you can't see "your" doctor, you can see any other one that's available. There's one who you can always see, she's very...direct? Arrogant? She had the nerve to tell a (severely alcoholic) relative of mine that they were an alcoholic, you know! Still she's always seemed quite competent to me, which is the main thing, though not pleasant.

[expatinscotland]

Some are, some aren't! I'd happily take a bullet for one in particular but another one I encountered, I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire.

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

I used to work with doctors and ime, as a group, they are significantly nicer than average. Most have wonderful ethics and go into medicine out of a desire to help. Sure, you do get arrogant ones, surgeons are often said to be arrogant, but then you need to be pretty confident to cut holes in people in the first place.

[Fortybingowings]

'Power base' WTF

[haveyourselfamerry]

Hic,

Very interesting, thank you.

Ok confession time - there is a part of me that thrives on getting to be the decision maker in a fast paced work situation where I can justify not being good mannered.

I take on board everything you say save that I think you need to forge some solidarity/common ground when folk express their experiences &generally have a ponder about that. We can't go back centuries and just have a priestly caste that we see as superior. We know that didn't work and besides Pandora's box is open now.

Fwiw, I think Drs have little idea of how technology is going to erode their power base over the next 15years.

[missyB1]

I do think if anyone is rude or arrogant be it a Dr or sales assistant ,teacher or whoever, it's worth pointing it out to them at the time or perhaps later when you are ready. I have had Doctors be uneccasarily rude to me as a patient on a couple of occasions, and also as a Nurse at work, I have challenged them every time. I have also pulled Doctors up when I felt they were rude or unprofessional in front of my patients. Yes NHS staff are overworked, underpaid and under a great deal of stress, but it's not really an excuse for bad manners. And yes I know Nurses can be guilty of it too!

[Littleballerina]

What a horrid post. 'As a whole'?
Why would you generalise a whole profession?
What do you do op? Can we judge your profession based on your attitude?

[SomethingLikeFlying]

Yes some are arrogant and down right rude.

When ds got hit by a swing I tried to make conversation with the doctor at the hospital, and he blanked me and spoke over me. He made me feel like a piece of dirt and it wouldn't surprise me if he had jumped to the conclusion that I hurt ds and/or neglected him.

[AwaywiththePixies27]

Yep Groovee I was in resus in the summer. Police guard in the bed opposite me there too.

[Groovee]

Away every time I have been in A&E there is a prisoner or a police escort.

[AwaywiththePixies27]

nokidshere I've been in hospital several times this year. Not once has a patient had chance to tell their personal story even if they wanted too. Doctors have a quick consultation and off to the next patient, as they have to be. I did watch a doctor stay and comfort a very frightened young lady who'd just been told she'd got sepsis in the middle of the night though.

[AwaywiththePixies27]

I was in A&E with Dd who was linked up to heart monitors when they brought in 3 people with police escorts. One of the patients was being a right pain in the arse about not wanting to be in the bay next to one of the others. The dr ripped strips off him over his behaviour and he shut up. Dr then swanned into dd's bay and couldn't have been nicer to Dd!

Sounds like our A&E on a daily basis Groovee (used to work there as a cleaner in my younger years).

[nokidshere]

I have nothing but praise for the NHS which, due to a lifelong chronic disease and years of infertility, I have been accessing since birth.

As well as that I have had operations, births, accidents, my son had a serious accident which almost cost him his life, and, more recently my elderly MIL has had to access lots of services.

I have never felt short changed by the NHS, by nurses, by GPs, by surgeons or anyone else I have come into contact with over the years.

I think it's about managing your own expectations of them. Yes the surgeon or gp might be a bit brusque on occasion, or the appointment might be running late, or the dr has "swanned off" before I've had time to process what h/she said properly. But these things are minor compared to what the alternative would be without the NHS.

When people are stretched to their limits with all the budget cuts etc and they still have to deal with their own personal story at the same time it's not surprising that occasionally they aren't as kind as they could have been.

I think that unless it's a case of neglect or harm then we should just be very grateful that they are available to us in the first place.

[Groovee]

I was in A&E with Dd who was linked up to heart monitors when they brought in 3 people with police escorts. One of the patients was being a right pain in the arse about not wanting to be in the bay next to one of the others. The dr ripped strips off him over his behaviour and he shut up. Dr then swanned into dd's bay and couldn't have been nicer to Dd!

I do think some are overworked that they do get short tempered and they do have to work with some patients who really push them to the edge and they are human.

I often find the higher up they are the worse they can be with attitude. I watched a consultant visit another patient in my ward and was dumbstruck at her lack of bedside manner with a lady in her 80's.

[LunaLoveg00d]

I've had poor experiences with restaurant staff and numerous other occupations too. Are they also "up themselves"?

What a load of tripe. Good and bad in every profession.

[AwaywiththePixies27]

It's interesting to see those noting Drs know better than the patients not long after there was a thread about a Mum being dismissed and called paranoid with a very unwell baby.

Of course they make mistakes, of course they work bloody hard and it is often a thankless task. Of course they have to be emotionally detached to an extent when working in ED type situations. If they weren't they'd turn into nervous wrecks within weeks.

But in my experience, I don't think it's helpful to give patients a ticking off who've suffered bad experiences with the odd genuinely arrogant docs just as I dont think it's helpful to assume that all docs will be arrogant because of that one experience.

The Dr who left me to deteriorate when I was on HDU, didn't do it out of choice, they were literally overrun. 2 docs manning the fort all night is going to cause problems not of their making. Thankfully I got moved hospitals that day and was treated very quickly when they spotted signs of sepsis which, in the morning, due to the frankly knackering night the Doc had had when he did get chance to check up on me, put it down to a virus.

The doctor that dismissed me later on in the year despite my HDU/ITU history, and being brought in by concerned paramedics and being visibly unwell and on nebs at the time they came to see me. Not to mention the nurse looking after me expressing their concern. That wasn't down to cuts and staffing issues, that was complacency / arrogance. It happens.

Did I complain about the former? No. Did I complain about the former given I got rushed back in in an emergency situation again? Too damn right I did. I made it clear when complaining i had no qualms with the care from the nursing staff or the doctors I'd seen prior to this one, and that I understand they're under immense pressure but by raising the issue, maybe next time said doc will think twice before dismissing a patient like me and might end up saving their life.

[nursy1]

Some Drs are nice some are not. Some nice Drs are just having a bad day and you've caught the rough edge of it. That happens and maybe they go home and beat themselves up about what they said did/ didn't do. Bad days are getting more frequent for those of us who work in the NHS.