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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that childminder is being unreasonable/to report to ofsted?

82 replies

notenoughbottle · 28/12/2016 13:23

My childminder gave me 4 weeks notice just before Christmas for my children - the reason being that they have had a better offer. Are they being unreasonable/are they allowed to do this? I know this is a bit of a childcare issue and I'm posting in AIBU but need the traffic for this as its really left me in the lurch as originally they were the last option anyway as childcare locally is very limited. I may now have to give up my reason for needing the childcare. I was going to have words with them after xmas anyway as there are a few things we were not happy with. The main thing being the two dogs they have jumping up in my toddlers face/biting us when we collect the children. There seems to be no control over the animals and the husband actively winds the dogs up. The toddler is taken to soft play most days and the older children seem to always be sat in front of a screen when we collect them. The original menus that we were shown seem to have been relegated in favour of hot dogs, pizza and pasta on rotation. They have taken on two groups of children who go to different schools and finish at exactly the same time every day. A few weeks after starting I was asked if my children could finish 15 mins early every day to enable the CM to get to the other school on time. Obviously I refused as it would have meant my children missing out on an hour of their education each week. Hence the CM is often a few mins late for my children instead. This is despite us having been the CM's first clients. We were also originally told verbally that the CM would only be taking on ours and one more as they have minimal childcare experience and wanted to get used to such a career change - on the first day we were told that they had taken on another two. I know these are within the legal numbers allowed but this was disappointing. Given all of this I now want the childcare to stop immediately. I do not need childcare up until the four week notice point anyway as I can work around this so I will be paying needlessly for it.

So what do I do? Is the CM being unreasonable to give me this reason? Am I being unreasonable to expect dogs to not bite me or my children? The second dog was bought six weeks after my children began. They have only been there for three months...

OP posts:

OnMountains · 28/12/2016 14:39

I also think you need to be prepared for Ofsted to turn around and ask you why you are complaining about potential dangers to children after she gave you notice, but didn't complain at the time and continued to leave your children in her care despite these potential dangers.

Particularly if you are a nurse.

Namechangeemergency · 28/12/2016 14:43

If they hadn't given you (reasonable) notice would you be reporting them?

If the answer is no, you are being unreasonable.

You also state that you are not getting any help with childcare (unlike the rest of us who are presumably being supported by our trust funds?) yet you mention a childcare grant.

I can understand you being stressed about finding new childcare but that is not an excuse for you to be malicious. You would be happy leaving your kids with an inadequate and possibly negligent child care provider if you was willing to keep them.

sj257 · 28/12/2016 14:44

Definitely needs reporting but strange how you are only now doing so because she's given you notice. You should have found an alternative as soon as these issues became apparent.

OnMountains · 28/12/2016 14:44

Namechangeemergency

"If they hadn't given you (reasonable) notice would you be reporting them?"

She's already said she wouldn't be reporting them - she was going to have a little chat in January.

RortyCrankle · 28/12/2016 14:55

Never had children so never used a childminder but it seems to me that a) it's a business and like any business they will do what is best to improve profit which is entirely reasonable; b) she gave you the contractually agreed notice period; c) you had concerns re dogs, food, screen time but did not discuss with her, nor remove your children from her care; d) those things only seemingly became important after being given notice. If I was Ofsted I would want to know why, if you were unhappy, you left your children in her care despite your concerns.

Original poster

notenoughbottle · 28/12/2016 14:55

Thank You OnMountains - I had already said I was going to have a chat in January. Only because I was nice enough to not want to ruin a persons Christmas with something that they may find potentially upsetting or offensive. I'm neither trying to be malicious or vile, I wont be sending my children back there for the remainder of the notice time but I feel I owe the CM a reason for this. I have just emailed and expressed my disappointment in their timing and offerd them the choice of immediate termination. If they decide not to accept this then i will tell them why my children will not be going back.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2016 14:57

Is this a wind up?

Why the hell would you leave your DC in such a potentially dangerous situation?

OnMountains · 28/12/2016 15:01

Your children have been in their care three months. Why weren't you raising these issues ten weeks ago?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/12/2016 15:04

Biting bloody dogs are a tragedy waiting to happen.. I'd definitely be reporting.

LynetteScavo · 28/12/2016 15:09

There are several issues here, but the CM giving notice in line with the contract is not one of them.

Although, if you were not happy with the issues you should have been looking for alternative childcare anyway. Report to Ofsted if you feel it is the right thing to do, but not just becuase you are angry about needing to find new child care.

Frusso · 28/12/2016 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 28/12/2016 15:13

Oh come on

It wasn't serious enough for a complaint, just a little chat......until she gave you notice

Then it suddenly became a dangerous environment and warrants a report to ofsted??

That is the most ridiculous thing I've read today.
You would have continued to send your children there.

Bettercallsaul1 · 28/12/2016 15:14

I agree with pps that your complaints to Ofsted will be taken a lot less seriously because of the suspicious timing involved. You are very obviously trying to get out of paying for the (legal, contracted) notice period with your childminder. If, before the childminder gave notice, the problems with her only merited a delayed "chat" after Christmas, you cannot now (because it suits you) turn them into serious enough issues to withdraw your children without notice for "safety"reasons. It's either one thing or t'other!

kali110 · 28/12/2016 15:16

Sorry op but this just sounds like payback.
She and her conditions were good enough for you to leave your children there but now she's giving you notice you want to report her to offstead? Sounds like real sourgrapes.

Bobsmum02 · 28/12/2016 15:29

The issues you have cause for complaint for and the matter of the 4 weeks notice are completely seperate. If you had genuine concerns you should have brought these up via the child minders complaints procedure.

The matter of 4 weeks notice I imagine is the contract you entered into with the childminder so you presumably knew that she could legally leave you with no more than 4 weeks notice at any time? Are your children part time with the childminder? To be fair this can be a tricky situation for them from a business point of view, the part time children can hold a space which could be filled by a full time child who offers more revenue to the childminder. I know it doesn't always seem fair but sometimes people do need to remember that child minders are running a business so need to make business decisions!

MsJamieFraser · 28/12/2016 15:33

I don't think they are BU in giving you notice so they can a better job, be that finiancially or time constraints, it's why we give our notice if we have seeked employment elsewhere, it's exactly what they are doing. They can give your notice for any reason, as can you.

The dog issue, i'd make a report about, however why haven't you spoken up about all these issues now? I certainly would have.

It seems like your weren't really bothered about those issues when she was childminding your children, well not brought to question her anyway.

However now it appears you've taken a personal grudge against her, because she's leaving you in a difficult position, that's not her fault, she's been given a better offer for her, and she's more than entilted to do what's best for her business.

RacoonBandit · 28/12/2016 15:42

CM was fine to care for your DC until she gave you notice and now you have decided she is putting children in danger and should lose her livelyhood

OP sounds like you are being vindictive and nasty.
I would be very careful about reporting her unless there is real evidence not sour grapes to your claims....childminders talk to each other and you may find yourself struggling to find another.

Starlight2345 · 28/12/2016 15:44

If a dog bit my child..I would want to know how my child was been safe gaurded from the dog before my child was returned.. I am a childminder. I had one space two people wanted it.I took the one that worked for me and my family the best. It is a job... As people have said it isn't like any other job , a job you can't do just for the money, the childrens needs are important , however I am guessing your child is on 15 hours and she may well of been a full time contract..Quite a difference in income. I also say she is in a bit of a no win situation. I have certain times I allow people to drop and collect.. which is 10 minutes before we leave for school run..If they want to collect the time I get home they have to be aware, depending if we go to lost property ,, they are tired walk slowly , come out late we may be a few minutes late...As she was inexperienced I assume she misjudged it and needed to adjust her times.

I would also like to point out notice works the other way too. I have been given one months notice and my income drops till that place is filled. I have never considered the parents sly for not telling me they were applying for new jobs..Etc.

Notagainmun · 28/12/2016 16:12

If your concerns are genuine then you must report. However, you have then been very neglectful leaving your children there. Nothing is more important than a child's safety.

Just a word of caution, a childminder friend was maliciously reported to CSSIW (Welsh equivalent of Ofsted) when she gave notice to clients and she successfully sued them for unpaid fees and costs.

anothermalteserplease · 28/12/2016 16:33

The set up sounds awful. I'm glad you're not sending your children back. I would report to Ofsted as it sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/12/2016 16:46

as others said you were happy to leave your children with her and the biting jumping dog

but

now cm has given you notice, you hold a grudge, yes the cm can give you notice of 4w (assume in contract) just as you could if found cheaper childcare

yes the dogs should be kept apart from dc but why complain about it now .....

gillybeanz · 28/12/2016 20:34

The fact that there is no other childcare locally for me to access left me with little choice but to kind of accept the smaller problems.

Dogs biting is definitely a small problem in your eyes then?
I can't believe somebody would put their own child in this situation and pay to do so.
I can't believe it, poor children.

donquixotedelamancha · 28/12/2016 21:10

"I have just emailed and expressed my disappointment in their timing and offerd them the choice of immediate termination. If they decide not to accept this then i will tell them why my children will not be going back."

That's all fine and dandy, but you'll still have to pay 'em. If don't (assuming you've signed a written contract for 4 weeks notice) they they will take you to county court and win easily. Why make your life much harder out of pique?

witsender · 28/12/2016 21:20

Don't be ridiculous. They have legitimately given notice and you are required to pay. By all means complain, but you are required to pay. If you terminated the agreement, you would also be required to give notice.

JustWoman · 28/12/2016 21:20

A dig biting parents and children is not a small problem you accept. It's an issue that means when it bit you, you report straight to OFSTED and remove your DC from the setting.

You didn't do this and chose to keep sending them there, you didn't even speak to the childminder about your concerns, as you didn't want to upset her. But somehow all of a sudden it's worthy of instant removal.

I dont understand how if you decided that you were removing them that her giving you notice has left you in the lurch, or means you have to quit uni as you'd have been giving her notice anyway and must have started setting up alternative arrangements or have started the process of quitting the course.

its sounds more like you're taking the notice she has given you as a snub to you, in a how dare a crap childminder dump me and my DC for a better job, I'll teach her and report her. Have you equated better offer as her meaning better children?

I'd be a single mum on benefits until I could figure something out before I sent my child to be looked after in a home with an aggressive dog who bites parents and children to be honest. And there's no way I'd wait until after Christmas to mention it, it would have been reported immediately as not doing so out the other children she looks after risk too. Children have been killed by aggressive dogs and I'd be annoyed if one attacked mine at a childminders and then found out another parent knew it about it but ignored it.

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