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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that childminder is being unreasonable/to report to ofsted?

82 replies

notenoughbottle · 28/12/2016 13:23

My childminder gave me 4 weeks notice just before Christmas for my children - the reason being that they have had a better offer. Are they being unreasonable/are they allowed to do this? I know this is a bit of a childcare issue and I'm posting in AIBU but need the traffic for this as its really left me in the lurch as originally they were the last option anyway as childcare locally is very limited. I may now have to give up my reason for needing the childcare. I was going to have words with them after xmas anyway as there are a few things we were not happy with. The main thing being the two dogs they have jumping up in my toddlers face/biting us when we collect the children. There seems to be no control over the animals and the husband actively winds the dogs up. The toddler is taken to soft play most days and the older children seem to always be sat in front of a screen when we collect them. The original menus that we were shown seem to have been relegated in favour of hot dogs, pizza and pasta on rotation. They have taken on two groups of children who go to different schools and finish at exactly the same time every day. A few weeks after starting I was asked if my children could finish 15 mins early every day to enable the CM to get to the other school on time. Obviously I refused as it would have meant my children missing out on an hour of their education each week. Hence the CM is often a few mins late for my children instead. This is despite us having been the CM's first clients. We were also originally told verbally that the CM would only be taking on ours and one more as they have minimal childcare experience and wanted to get used to such a career change - on the first day we were told that they had taken on another two. I know these are within the legal numbers allowed but this was disappointing. Given all of this I now want the childcare to stop immediately. I do not need childcare up until the four week notice point anyway as I can work around this so I will be paying needlessly for it.

So what do I do? Is the CM being unreasonable to give me this reason? Am I being unreasonable to expect dogs to not bite me or my children? The second dog was bought six weeks after my children began. They have only been there for three months...

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 28/12/2016 14:13

I don't know why people expect CMs to run their businesses like charities If she can make more profit looking after another child, why wouldn't she give notice unless she particularly enjoyed looking after your child?

Original poster

notenoughbottle · 28/12/2016 14:13

Of course I'm annoyed at having to pay them for the next four weeks. My childcare grant won't cover that and to be honest nor will the ridiculously low amount of student loan I receive. Yes they are allowed to contractually terminate, but for a better offer? I'd rather have been told my children were naughty or similar. If I had decided to complain before Christmas then I would have 'got in there first' - would my reasons be looked at differently then?

OP posts:

Maryann1975 · 28/12/2016 14:14

Im another one wondering why you left your children there if it was so bad? It sounds like you are annoyed that you have been given notice and now trying to get out of paying her for the notice period. There is no way I would leave my DC with anyone who had a biting dog, I'd be even less likely if I was paying for the privilidge.
The cm doesn't sound great, but TBH I'm not impressed with your parenting either. If she is that bad you should have sorted something else out for your DC and not left them with her.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 28/12/2016 14:14

I'd dispute the notice but I'd take them out now - you have quite a few reasons to breach the contract provided you can find childcare elsewhere quickly

GreenTureen · 28/12/2016 14:14

YABU - IMO it sounds like you have the hump that they've given you notice and are now looking for ways to get out of paying the notice period.

You accepted the dogs/food/activities etc before but now all of a sudden, only since you've had notice, they're worthy of reporting?

Pay the four weeks, as you are obliged to, or you may find yourself in small claims court (you certainly would if I was your cm anyway). Whether you send the dc again or report is a seperate matter but you should definitely pay.

happychristmasbum · 28/12/2016 14:15

Of course the CM isn't BU giving you contractual notice. Have you never left a job and given notice?

It seems a bit rich that all the time it was convenient for you, the dog biting and other problems weren't an issue but now it's all report worthy.

Makes you sound rather spiteful and bitter tbh. Either it was safe environment or it wasn't..................

Rubies12345 · 28/12/2016 14:15

This sounds like revenge.

She's left you in the lurch so you're suddenly going to report her for having dogs that bite.

But before she gave you notice you were quite happy to leave the children with the danderous dogs?

Trifleorbust · 28/12/2016 14:16

You object to honouring the terms of your contract? YABU.

Counterclockwise · 28/12/2016 14:16

You describe an unacceptable child-minding situation that no reasonable parent would leave their child in for more than 5 minutes and your issue is that they've given you notice? Are you sure you're doing a top up degree and not KS3 SATs?

Rubies12345 · 28/12/2016 14:16

*dangerous dogs

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 28/12/2016 14:16

Yes they are allowed to contractually terminate, but for a better offer?

Er, of course she is.

What do you think is happening when a person leaves one job to go to another??

OnMountains · 28/12/2016 14:17

Honestly you sound vile.

You talk about having "got in there first" when you are making complaints about inadequate childcare?

If it's inadequate childcare and you should have raised issues previously and terminated the care. End of.

Maryann1975 · 28/12/2016 14:19

I don't think your reasons would have been viewed differently had you got in their first had you continued to take your children despite being so unhappy with lots of aspects of care. You still left your children several times with a dog that was biting them.

happychristmasbum · 28/12/2016 14:19

Rubies "danderous dogs" can be a real problem if your child has allergies

TantrumsAndBalloons · 28/12/2016 14:21

You are being ridiculous

You say you didn't want to ruin her Christmas by making a complaint- so was you planning on making a complaint in January? If so then surely you would have removed your children already?

You are just pissed off that your CM has given you notice and are looking for a reason not to pay.

How on earth can you say you didn't want to ruin her christmas by bringing up the fact she is providing sub standard care to your children?

Either it really is no where near as bad as you are making out or you deliberately ignored the fact that your children were in an unsafe place.

Bizarre

BadKnee · 28/12/2016 14:22

It sounds as if the relationship has broken down.

You are not happy about dogs, screen time, food or general care.
You are not able to be flexible enough to allow childminder to do all her pick ups on time, (fair enough).
Childminder cannot be in two places at once so either she drops one of the clients or someone's child is late being picked up.
She will drop the parent who is least happy anyway and for business reasons, as she has to make a living, the one who is worth less to her business.
She probably guesses that you were going to give notice soon anyway.

Agreed notice period is 4 weeks.
Childminder has given you four weeks notice.

NOW you want to report her to OFSTED for having dogs that you knew about and several other issues.

That seems like revenge to me.

By all means go ahead if you think the care she gives means children are at risk or suffering. If the kids are at risk of being bitten or the handling of the dogs breaches guidelines then you should report. (But why would anyone allow their children to be in that environment in that case).

If her care is reasonable and you just want revenge then you will gain nothing. Word goes round and other parents and childminders will not be delighted if it causes a lot of trouble without cause.

AmberEars · 28/12/2016 14:22

I think that if you wanted to report her to Ofsted you should have done it before. To do it after she's given you notice comes across as petty / sour grapes.

OnMountains · 28/12/2016 14:23

OP - are you a nurse? Is that what the top up degree is about? I know that nurses are required to do it within ten years...

Frusso · 28/12/2016 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gillybeanz · 28/12/2016 14:26

You are bothered about the short notice but leave a child in dangerous conditions
No accounting for priorities.

Horsegirl1 · 28/12/2016 14:28

She is not at all being sly or un reasonable . Surely you knew she had dogs when you visited her setting. The dogs may jump when people first arrive as many dogs get over exited and do this . I'm a dog person so this type of behaviour would not worry me in the least . I think you are only pissed off cos she has gave you notice as the way I read this post is that you woukd still send then even if she hadn't given you notice. Maybe the older children want to watch TVafter a busy day at school ? I don't think she has been sly or ur

Nanny0gg · 28/12/2016 14:28

You have left your children in care you're not happy about, and now you want to report?

You shouldn't have left them there in the first place.

WankersHacksandThieves · 28/12/2016 14:33

I don't think being a childminder is just a business like any other where profit is king. I'm not saying that it's some kind of charity, but you are talking about children's wellbeing and emotional connections. However, it does cut both ways and the notice period in the contract is presumably designed to allow both parties the ability to make other arrangements. It's not the childminders fault if there are few options locally. It might have been helpful for the childminder to offer the OP the chance to make up the difference? She might have been finding the two school picks up very stressful but felt the other children's parents were more accommodating. Her new mindees maybe attend the same school as the other family? Maybe this is an opportunity for the OP to start her own childcare business?

anannoyinglylongusername · 28/12/2016 14:35

yabu leaving them there in the first place

givemushypeasachance · 28/12/2016 14:36

If you are genuinely concerned about the safety of children in her care, report those concerns to Ofsted immediately. That's as in right now - children are at risk of harm, they need protecting, Ofsted need to know.

If not but you are genuinely concerned about the standards of care and think she's not complying with what she should do as a registered childminder, tell Ofsted and they can assess whether they need to look into it.

Be prepared that if Ofsted send someone out to speak to the childminder, she'll be able to say she gave you notice and you're refusing to pay in line with the agreed contract, so that's what is prompting you to now make a complaint. Ofsted can't look into anything to do with contractual disputes, they are a regulator and can only assess if care is being provided in line with the legal standards.

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