Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

....to mind that everyone thinks I'm ace but.......

30 replies

hockeypuck · 20/02/2007 09:50

I am 32. I am a mum of dd (4) and DS (9months) I tend to socialise with a big group of people from work ranging from 19 year olds to 35ish. No one ever thinks I'm as old as I am, they usually guess about 26 which is fine by me as it helps with the denial!!

Well, on saturday night I went out with some of the younger ones to town for a 22nd birthday of one of the lads. They all kept saying to me "I can't believe how ace you are" and saying they had to go out with me more often. But somewhere in those statements I detected a "but". I get the impression it's a bit like "you're really ace for a mum and wife" or "you're great for an old bird".

Should I just accept that I am a wife and mum and that I'll always be seen like that by them and just be glad I'm the kind of wife and mum who is still able to socialise with students and have fun OR should I be insulted that there is a BUT in there?

I just felt really old on Saturday

OP posts:
Carmenere · 20/02/2007 09:52

Perhaps you are growing out of the need to socialise with younger people? Personally I wouldn't want to go out with a load of 22 yr olds, they bore me. I'm 36.

FluffyMummy123 · 20/02/2007 09:53

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 20/02/2007 09:53

Message withdrawn

Original poster
hockeypuck · 20/02/2007 09:54

yeah I thought it was patronising too.

FWIW there were 3 other women there my age but two of them dont dance and the other had pulled, so I was the only one keeping up with them and not sadly trying to pull because I'm very happy with my DH

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 20/02/2007 09:55

Message withdrawn

Twiglett · 20/02/2007 09:57

you are now the granny you used to laugh at in clubs

ScottishThistle · 20/02/2007 09:57

When you're 22 you think 32 is ancient when in actual fact it's far from it & some 22yr olds don't really get the chance to socialise with someone your age.

I'm sure they do just think you're ace & why shouldn't they!

I'm 34 & though I'm older & wiser I'd like to think I'm not that much different from the girl I was at 22!

The question is did you have a good night?

Original poster
hockeypuck · 20/02/2007 10:01

yeah I had a fab night! there are usually more people there my age and older but it was 2 weeks till payday so the more sensible ones stayed at home!

I dont mind being seen as their sister or auntie or whatever, it's just a shock to realise that they think I'm that much older than them because I dont think of myself as any different (just wiser)

Twiglett but I expect you're right ARghhhhhhhh!

OP posts:
Original poster
hockeypuck · 20/02/2007 10:02

iCod - but will it be acceptable to act like that (If) I get accepted as a magistrate?

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 20/02/2007 10:04

cod's right get older mates

the last thing you need is patronising young folk to go out with

nothing can make you feel older, not even rheumatism

ScottishThistle · 20/02/2007 10:06

Well, seen as I'm 34 & Husbandless perhaps I have a different take on it!

I know other 'Women' (hate that word) my age who already look & act 40...I'm glad I'm not them!...Life's too short, enjoy it!

oliveoil · 20/02/2007 10:08

I am 37 and on our staff do, a new lad at the table was in shock that I was 37, he said I looked 22

I do not, he had been drinking. 29 maybe

I could not think of anything WORSE than going out with some twentysomethings

Went out with dh for his birthday on Saturday and felt about 105 with all the hip young things swanning about, I think The Killers were on somewhere so everyone was about 12

piglit · 20/02/2007 10:09

Hang out with friends your own age.....

Quootiepie · 20/02/2007 10:12

I am 20 and have older friends. I do not notice the age gap and I would be mortified if I got "dumped" for being too young.

madmarchhare · 20/02/2007 10:17

Im soon to be 34 and have a couple of really goods friends in their twenties, I dont feel old when I go out with them, we just have a good time.

I was talking to another friend (whos 34) the other day and we reckoned we looked better than when we did when we were younger and a lot of the youngers ones now(you ought to see the state of some of them round here on a friday night) because we dress better, dont fiddle with our earings, twirl our hair....

ScottishThistle · 20/02/2007 10:20

I agree madmarchhare...I'm way more confident & stylish than I ever was in my early 20's & get much more attention too!

Flamesparrow · 20/02/2007 10:21

I'm with Quootie here... I'm 25, Psychomum is 32/33... something like that - never notice the age thing (apart from the children being older!), and I would be very upset if she (or the others in the group of friends) decided I was too young for them.

Twiglett · 20/02/2007 10:23

its great having friends of all ages but I would say if they're actually commenting on you then it is obviously an issue to them .. ie they are aware of your age first and foremost and are probably slapping themselves on their backs for having friends of all ages

it just doesn't feel true and honest to me .. if you'd gone out and just had a laugh it would be different I imagine .. its the 'for your age' hanging in the air which would upset me

(sorry, lapsed into seriousness for a moment)

SparklyGothKat · 20/02/2007 10:23

I'm 28 and am the oldest of my mates, they range from 19-27, and tbh, no-one notices the age difference.

SparklyGothKat · 20/02/2007 10:24

and I have another group of friends where the oldest is 41 and I get on great with her, and why shouldn't I??

Flamesparrow · 20/02/2007 10:25

Oh yes twig - I forgot to reply to the op... was all worked up about all the "get friends your own age" comments

So... wot she sed

Flamesparrow · 20/02/2007 10:25

I feel all dirty now...

"What she said"

Original poster
hockeypuck · 20/02/2007 10:26

thistle/hare I think the looking better thing in the 30s is down to confidence really. We're not so desperate to fit in or to be noticed or anything. I dont feel the need to have the latest top to feel great on a night out, I'll just go for something classic that suits me and shows the good bits off. (Tits and teeth darling, tits and teeth)

I think I know how to flirt now, in a way a didn't when I was younger. Because I don't want anything to come from it, I don't appear desperate and that makes people even more keen IME.

The lad whose birthday it was (22) kept trying it on all night and I had a come back for all the lines, whereas in my 20s I'd just blush or giggle. I felt confidence saying "never going to happen - live with it" in a jokey way, the way I never did before.

OP posts:
Original poster
hockeypuck · 20/02/2007 10:28

flame/twiglett. They have never said anything about my age or the fact that I'm married when everyone else out was single, it's just that I've never felt like it was there but unsaid before IYSWIM.

Do I make sense or am I sounding very PMT reading too much into everything?

OP posts:
Twiglett · 20/02/2007 10:31

if it was unsaid .. then its in your head .. and obviously due to hormones .. that's the benefit of age too, you can start to take things at face value without expecting a hidden meaning.. because young people, above all else, are shallow

Swipe left for the next trending thread