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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hubby didnt get me anything for christmas

68 replies

suzycy34 · 27/12/2016 19:14

So hubby didn't get me any Christmas card or present, I got him pressie that was £90, then he had the cheek to complain about the Christmas dinner there wasn't any mashed potatoes to go with the roast ones, and gravy not thick enough, what you think of that, was so upset!!

OP posts:

daisychain01 · 27/12/2016 20:06

No sex, no cooking him meals and no clean laundry

Withdrawing one's services just gives a message that the woman is put on earth to provide her Manz with certain creature comforts that he could otherwise outsource to a cleaner or cook. I won't comment on the sex supply, I'm waaay too polite

Lynnm63 · 27/12/2016 20:08

That's terrible. We've had years when we've been skint and then he'd buy me something cheap but thoughtful. Even an iou for a foot massage or breakfast in bed. Costs nothing but shows you care.
It's fair enough to like mash with a roast my ds does so I do both but not ok to complain about it.

Is he like this in other ways? Personally I couldn't be with someone who was stingy.

Meluzyna · 27/12/2016 20:13

There's a proverb which says if you want somethiing doing properly, do it yourself.
So, OP, what would you like for Christmas? You must have some idea? Perfume, leather gloves? A silk scarf? A handbag? A pair of shoes?
I'm sure you can think of something nice.
Now you've thought of the ideal gift you have two options.

Tell your husband that as he was obviously stuck for inspiration this is what he needs to get you - preferably this year, not next. or 2) Ask him for the money or use his chequebook / credit card / cash from his wallet to buy the desired item and tell him you've bought your own present. My husband has bought me so many ghastly non-present presents over the years that my sister no longer asks what I received from him. his year it was a box of fudge - that's OK - I like fudge. For the record I bought him a pair of M&S leather gloves and an electrical gadget. I have also bought "from him" a new pair of leather gloves for me which match the coat I got in last year's sales. Cheer up, these are for you

toptoe · 27/12/2016 20:15

You know what to get him next year now you aren't giving eachother gifts. Reasonable couples discuss how much they spend on eachother and everyone else to make it fair. Well that's what we do anyway. Even if it's nothing, you still discuss it first. Gutting he has decided to disrespect you this way. Like you're taken for granted.

WankersHacksandThieves · 27/12/2016 20:16

TheSlaughterOfHerodificado even if DH wasn't great at it, it's important that he contributes to Christmas in some way. I do virtually all the shopping for our teen boys and I obviously also buy his. In addition I also order in all the shopping and do the wrapping and the cards. He buys mine, he also prods and facilitates the boys buying presents for us and each other. He does all the veg except the roasts on Christmas day (although he does peel and parboil the potatoes) he organises the drinks, the table and the music and he gets the tree and decs down from the attic. It's still mostly me that "does" christmas, but he understands that he needs to contribute and we work well together producing the dinner. If he made no effort and then complained he'd be getting a boot up the arse.

LiveLifeWithPassion · 27/12/2016 20:20

OP you need to start changing expectations. Dont put up with crappy behaviour.
Let him know that he's an arse and you're not going to accept this crap.

PhilODox · 27/12/2016 20:24

Was it because you called him "hubby"?

LouiseBrooks · 27/12/2016 20:37

was it because you called him hubby?

Normally I'd ignore something like this but, seriously? Do you think you're remotely funny? Are you the husband?

LouiseBrooks · 27/12/2016 20:38

He is a total arse. The husband, not the pp (oh, hang on ...)

I'd have tipped the gravy on his head.

Callipygian · 27/12/2016 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ScruffbagsRUs · 27/12/2016 21:05

Can I have your DH OP? I keep telling my own DH that I don't want anything for Xmas, then the bugger insists on getting me smellies, chocs, shower gel (I don't do baths, just showers) or socks and pants. I just wanted a simple turkey dinner. That was it.

I like to pick my own stuff so I don't want anything or need anything for that matter.

TheSlaughterOfHerodificado · 27/12/2016 21:25

Even an iou for a foot massage or breakfast in bed. Costs nothing but shows you care.

Exactly Lynn

RubbishMantra · 27/12/2016 22:22

OP, buy rubber sheets put them on bed. Top with cheap polyester sheets. Make mash, preferably runny instant mash, like Smash. Make runny instant gravy. Let both cool down, to just below body temperature. Pour all over sleeping dickish partner.

QuartzUcan · 27/12/2016 22:35

Troll or not, you really shouldn't accept such a lack of thought towards you.

80sMum · 27/12/2016 22:47

MouseLove "Even if I demanded DH not to buy me a single present. He still would."

^^It would really annoy me if my DH did that! DH and I have an understanding that neither of us will buy the other a present - and we stick to it. I would not be pleased if he bought me something without telling me in advance that he wanted a change of plan. I like to know where I stand and for people to keep to their word.

Original poster

suzycy34 · 27/12/2016 22:52

I'm not a troll I've baby and 3 year old to look after so can't be online all the time, thanks for the advice

OP posts:

Hannah4banana · 27/12/2016 23:21

He's your husband, is he normally like that?

MouseLove · 28/12/2016 12:52

80sMum my DH doesn't give to receive. And our relationship has never been about a competition. What's mine is his and his mine. And I've never asked him not to buy me gifts.

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