To feel utterly depressed and fed up and consider calling in sick to give myself a Christmas break?

[BoBo16]

Started a new job early this year.

The shift pattern was hard in the first place (often 1 day off in 10 etc) but the Christmas rota has been horrendous.

I had to work the whole week before Christmas with just Christmas Eve off - I then worked Christmas Day, Boxing Day and I'm working today so that's every single bank holiday. I'm off tomorrow but then I'm working Thursday, Friday and Saturday with just New Year's Day off. I'm then back for the bank holiday Monday (surprise sunrise) and off Tuesday. I'm then back the rest of the week until the weekend of 7/8th Jan.

I have had no Christmas holiday at all. I've not even had two days off together. I've not seen my husband really or my kids. I'm exhausted. I'm fed up. I feel physically sick at the thought of going in for three more days on the trot. I feel victimised with the rota (nobody else's is as bad as mine, a few people have admitted this) and I feel utterly fucked off.

I'm so tired. WIBU to ring in sick on Thursday and Friday to give myself some time off and a rest? I'm handing in my notice this week also.

[SapphireStrange]

If you are childless you should volunteer if you've got any compassion.

Do sod off.

People without children have as much right to time off as those with.

Whether they don't have children through choice, or their heart is constantly breaking because they can't have them/can't find someone they want to have them with/whatever.

Being a parent doesn't make you automatically more deserving of certain days off.

Anyway, OP, you sound broken and your boss sounds like a cunt. I'd call in sick if you genuinely feel so exhausted that you won't perform well and may be a hindrance; otherwise I'd soldier on for a bit but take great pleasure in writing a 'fuck you' resignation letter!

[thatdearoctopus]

Lesmacarons, I have children and I also think you're talking bollocks.

Hope this helps.

[MaryManchego]

Lesmacarons.

I'm confused.

I have two children under 10.

And I worked Christmas day and Boxing day.

Would you like my details so you can report me for child neglect? I am obviously a total bitch.

[ilovesooty]

And my best wishes to the OP and apologies to her for responding to the poster who derailed her thread by pushing her own agenda.

[queencerulean]

lesmacarons you really expect childless people to work Christmas so that people with kids can have Christmass off? Having kids doesn't make you any more important than anyone else you know. It's one day and if kids are bought up with parents doing shifts/oncalls then they become understanding and flexible.

I used to do shifts pre children and usually opted to work Christmas to get new year off but every so often it was nice to spend time with my parents or dh on Christmas Day. My husband had to work last Christmas and our children didn't suffer.

As a nursing manager I would never expect my time off to be more important than other people's. Yes, I may want time off for Christmas plays/nativities but equally then my childless workers should have time off to see their nieces/nephews/parents etc. Some childless people have elderly parents and may want to spend what few Christmas' they have left with them.

[PovertyPain]

Les you might find that some posters are even 😮 single mums or dads or even childless aunties (points to self) who have spent their lives raring other wonderful, self sacrificing, selfish pricks people's kids. Am I permitted on here? A parent figure but not a parent. Fuck, now I've confused myself. 🤔

[Sallystyle]

I'm embarrassed for you Les

[reallyanotherone]

I was one of those neglectful parents that used to volunteer to work. It had its advantages. I'd usually offer to do a late shift christmas day, got all the perks of waking up to santa, presents, christmas dinner, then buggered off to work leaving dh with knackered kids and the clearing up.

Boxing day i always went to work, dh would take the kids to his parents, and i didn't have to eat mil's horrendous cooking.

As a double bonus working shifts meant i got to go to parents days, school trips, plays etc as time off in the week was no problem.

I could never see why choosing to become a parent automatically bestowed christmas rights. We had many non-parents who had equally valid reasons for christmas off and we always tried to accomodate.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Lesmacarons - single people will still have families. They will still understand about families at Christmas, albeit not from the perspective of a parent. And you can't make it mandatory for someone to volunteer - if you are forcing them to do it, it is NOT voluntary.

And why are childless people on Mumsnet? Because it is an open site, where lots of subjects are discussed in an intelligent and humorous fashion - and many of those subjects have little or nothing to do with parenting. There are childless people on here who are mental health professionals, teachers, doctors, nurses - the list is endless - and the site benefits hugely from their presence and contribution - a presence and contribution which is just as valuable as that of someone who has a child.

Men are equally welcome here - the strapline refers to parents not mothers, even though the site is called Mumsnet. They too benefit from the site, and give value back.

If you want a site where only women are allowed, and where only mothers with children get to post, MN is not going to give you what you want.

[OnionKnight]

Lesmacarons cannot be serious.

I'm married but no children, I wanted Christmas off to spend time with my family, people with children are not entitled for leave at Christmas any more than I am.

[PansyGiraffe]

I just want to know if Xenia is still around, and if so whether she's met LesMacarons. I'd pay for a ticket for the match.

[LuluJakey1]

I think Lesmacarons is either taking the piss or is a GF or is suffering awful gout from too much port and red wine and is a bit irritable and u reasonable. I am going for the GF option.

[Pollyanna9]

If this is the NHS, which I assume it is (apologies if it's not), what it is is an indictment of how broken and stretched the NHS is. In the hospitals I work in all three of them are absolutely at their total utter limit, elective surgeries being cancelled right left and centre (including cancer ops) and there's no patient flow in the hospital (patients come in but they take ages getting out, plus too many come in in the first place - but that's a whole 'nother story of course).

I know plenty of nurses and also managers, group managers and on call staff who are working the most ridiculous hours at the moment. Their sense of responsibility to colleagues, patients and their service is exemplary. But they are humans and they are being asked to work often beyond what is sustainable over long periods of time when it's as relentless as it is.

To work like this is what is expected, but it doesn't mean it's right.

If it comes down to your own mental health and wellbeing then you're not taking 'sickies', you're off sick which is a whole other thing. Yes, it might affect your colleagues and your patients but at the end of the day is it worth having a breakdown over? No. I'm sure it would be explainable to an agency and saying you're going to agency because all you need is to manage your shifts more actively than you can as a substantive employee.

Your manager is probably equally stressed out but possibly hasn't put enough thought into the rota's which seem to be disproportionate from OPs comments, and then the manager has been less than helpful although she did offer part time. Clearly she is desperate for OP to not leave (and not go off sick) but at the end of the day the NHS is at breaking point and this is the result - people who literally cannot give any more and are also at breaking point on a personal level.

Just because 8 out of 10 staff manage to 'suck it up' and pull through such horrendously hard periods of work and strain doesn't mean that the 2 out of 10 who can't cope, should be told to not take care of themselves or that they are weak. Everyone has a point where they need to say that's it, I've had enough and if OP has reached that point then her priority needs to go 180 degrees back to her and her needs.

If she goes off with severe stress for six months how will that benefit the service she works for? Better a couple of days now and start fresh in 2017 with bank working that's more controllable, and makes you feel better OP.

[ilovesooty]

Xenia was certainly around as recently as last week under her umpteenth name change.

As for Lesmacarons she appears to have been here for some years.

[KathArtic]

When I worked in a 24/7 job us 'singles' would often swap with those who had families, particularly the morning shift, so they could be with their kids. Didn't bother me.

[Zimmerzammerbangbang]

I'm curious, does this only a terrible parent works Christmas Day apply to both parents? I'm wondering how the world would function if there were no parents anywhere on shift on Christmas Day. Consultants can't be fathers for example? Wouldn't that massively limit the pool of people who could be consultants? Or is it just mothers who can't work Christmas?

[Lesmacarons]

I literally don't give a shit what any of you people defending this kind of behaviour think. I don't agree with you and that is it. If you don't HAVE to work over Christmas and you are a parent - don't.

I've met plenty of parents who justify putting themselves before their kids. Still don't care what you think.

The OP is not happy with her lot - that is what we are discussing.
If you want to prioritise your own needs, wants and weaknesses over your children - you are the one is going to have to live with it. Not me.

Yes, crazy work obsessed parents do get pretty nasty if anyone disagrees - but tough, I suppose.

[Spookle]

Lesmacarons by your thinking if no parents should work Christmas so that they can be with their children then no children should ever work so that they can be with their parents. Or is there an age cut off for your idea?

You sound quite bitter and jealous of single and/or childless people.

[Lesmacarons]

What Kath wrote. i agree. Most people 'get it. Shall I put I sign up somewhere stating that we have already discussed that health jobs are the exception, but it is still beholden to the parents to try to be there.

Oh Dads who use the excuse of working are even worse. met a few of them. They really don't give a shit usually.

If it is not absolutely necessary - go crying elsewhere.

[ilovesooty]

There is a world of difference between choosing not to work at Christmas and being rota'd to then expecting preferential treatment at the expense of others.

[Spookle]

Meant to say - good luck with finding new work OP and I hope you are able to rest and recuperate soon. I hope that everyone you care for is grateful.

[Zimmerzammerbangbang]

OK so no serving military personnel can have children? Or fire fighters?

[PurpleDaisies]

When I worked in a 24/7 job us 'singles' would often swap with those who had families, particularly the morning shift, so they could be with their kids. Didn't bother me.

If people are willingly doing that, fine but often people put pressure on others to swap.

[Lesmacarons]

Zimmer - grow up. I think you know what I mean. Exceptional cases people understand - but even they should make an effort and their single colleagues should care.