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AIBU?

To feel utterly depressed and fed up and consider calling in sick to give myself a Christmas break?

249 replies

BoBo16 · 27/12/2016 07:57

Started a new job early this year.

The shift pattern was hard in the first place (often 1 day off in 10 etc) but the Christmas rota has been horrendous.

I had to work the whole week before Christmas with just Christmas Eve off - I then worked Christmas Day, Boxing Day and I'm working today so that's every single bank holiday. I'm off tomorrow but then I'm working Thursday, Friday and Saturday with just New Year's Day off. I'm then back for the bank holiday Monday (surprise sunrise) and off Tuesday. I'm then back the rest of the week until the weekend of 7/8th Jan.

I have had no Christmas holiday at all. I've not even had two days off together. I've not seen my husband really or my kids. I'm exhausted. I'm fed up. I feel physically sick at the thought of going in for three more days on the trot. I feel victimised with the rota (nobody else's is as bad as mine, a few people have admitted this) and I feel utterly fucked off.

I'm so tired. WIBU to ring in sick on Thursday and Friday to give myself some time off and a rest? I'm handing in my notice this week also.

OP posts:

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Lesmacarons · 27/12/2016 11:53

Having said that - there is nothing worse than one of these pious health care professionals who volunteer despite being parents.

BoBo16 · 27/12/2016 11:53

Yes I am HCP, I'm Not going to call in sick, I wouldn't dare anyway in reality. I'll just go on auto pilot and get this week out of the way and look forward to when I notice is up.

I'm lucky in that I don't actually "need" to work. Best case scenario is that the agencies work out more money for less hours. Worse case scenario is that we have income for a while

OP posts:

BoBo16 · 27/12/2016 11:54

*less income

OP posts:

unicorn5629 · 27/12/2016 11:54

And what if all health professionals questioned their Christmas rota? Who would work ? Would that be neglect because they didn't question? I wouldn't go waving the term neglect loosely, that's bound to get people's backs up !

Flumplet · 27/12/2016 11:55

Just do it. Life is too short and everyone deserves to put themselves first once in a while. And hand your notice in too. Sounds like it's grinding you down.

dingdongthewitchishere · 27/12/2016 11:56

I wouldn't work Christmas Day if I had kids and I wouldn't expect somebody to ask me to parents should try and get a job that works around their kids

I was one of those kids whose parents worked at Christmas. You know what? My friends were a bit jealous of us. My parents had such a fab job, we were so so proud of them, we've never regretted them having to work. The wow factor is huge with children.
You have no idea how to be a parent if you can't have flexibility and show your children that's you can celebrate various things at different times.

You will realise that what your children see is not what you think, and you might be very disappointed. Kids are not upset because their parents work at Christmas, unless the parents make a huge scene out of it.

Do you think your kids teachers should have a day off when it's their kids birthday, sport day, school play and for all the events of a child?

Lesmacarons · 27/12/2016 11:59

Yes - I think non-parents should volunteer and that should be mandatory when you take on the job.

I have just seen so many people do this to their kids over time and I have seen the effects of it. Do not give your life over to your job ahead of your children. It is the wrong thing to do.

ilovesooty · 27/12/2016 11:59

So if all parents challenged being timetabled to work Christmas day does that mean they get preferential treatment?

ilovesooty · 27/12/2016 12:00

Non parents may well have reasons to want Christmas day off.

BlossomHillOne · 27/12/2016 12:01

It must be nice to be so fucking perfect...

AwfulSomething · 27/12/2016 12:01

Show your employer and colleagues the consideration and respect they show you.........

Lesmacarons · 27/12/2016 12:02

Well, I am glad it worked out for you Dingdong - but it doesn't in most cases. I do have an idea of how to raise children. I have four - oldest is 30 - youngest 16. Thanks.

I think you are trying to convince yourself.

Lesmacarons · 27/12/2016 12:03

Wow - Blossom - getting a bit offensive there. People don't always like the truth.

CeeCeeEnnEss · 27/12/2016 12:04

So because I don't have kids I should be forced to volunteer to work Xmas Day? And then what happens when I have kids? How does my manager make sure the ratio of childless to those with children remains equal?

Mental.

ilovesooty · 27/12/2016 12:04

It's your opinion, not the truth.

BlossomHillOne · 27/12/2016 12:06

If the truth hurts...

PurpleDaisies · 27/12/2016 12:06

Yes - I think non-parents should volunteer and that should be mandatory when you take on the job.

The fact that my family doesn't include children doesn't mean I should never get to see them at Christmas.

You can't rank people's personal life like that.

Lesmacarons · 27/12/2016 12:08

If you don't have kids - what are you doing on here?

To your point - why not? If you are childless you should volunteer if you've got any compassion. Can you imagine sitting at home on your own knowing that your parenting colleague is at work and can't see their kids? Gareth from 'The Office' is alive and well.

Whatslovegottodo · 27/12/2016 12:08

This post has some batshit replies!!
I don't think a HCP should be taking sickies as they worked over Christmas! I am married to one who in previous years has worked 7 nights over the whole festive period even doing an extra 2 than had been rota'd for to help a colleague.
It's part of the job, it's for the patients, and for your colleagues. It's what you sign up for. It is absolutely not fair to skive this. Go to work. Hand your notice in. Then relax as much as you like once your notice has been worked.

mansviewpoint · 27/12/2016 12:09

Youve already answered your own question. You have described mental stress and exhaustion down to a tee. If your job was to lift boxes and you had damaged your arm muscles you wouldn't be going into work without knowing that management had made reasonable endeavours to modify the working practice. You have just described the mental version of that. If you had a cold which doesn't stop you lifting boxes, you can take a day or to off. So why not the same for the mental side of things?. I took 2 days off at the beginning of december with the illness column marked as "Stress / Anxiety". No -one has questioned it, no one has asked for me to see a psychologist. I was trying to keep up with the work of 3 people (company was trying to employee, but couldn't get anyone), I got over stressed about it. If you are a Full Time or Part Time employee you have a responsibility to the company and to yourself, to take sickness time when it is needed, and to tell them why. You should not hide the fact, as next year it could be someone else you really can't cope with it, and does something silly.

BlossomHillOne · 27/12/2016 12:09

The truth is I am always home for Christmas. DH unfortunately has worked 3 out of the last 6.

I will always be grateful to the surgical team and intensive care staff who worked Christmas 2000 - my DM wouldn't have made a further 11 Christmas' without them.

ilovesooty · 27/12/2016 12:10

Oh not this again.
When my elderly mum was alive I think her desire to see me on Christmas day was every bit as important as parents' wishes to be with their child.
As it so happens I don't work on Christmas day but I think your attitude is ludicrous.

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PurpleDaisies · 27/12/2016 12:10

That old chestnut.
You do not need to have children to use the site.

Why should my family never see me on Christmas Day? Why should I never get to go to church on Christmas Day? My mum has health issues and would be home alone if she didn't come to us. Why should she be lonely on Christmas Day because I don't have kids?

Lesmacarons · 27/12/2016 12:12

Oh for heavens sake - we have said that they are exceptions. I think people like you just want an argument. No one is saying that people should be left to die on Christmas day - but that parents should think about it. It is only - actually - a few years out of their career.

ilovesooty · 27/12/2016 12:15

I don't recall you talking about exceptions. I do recall mandatory though.

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