To feel utterly depressed and fed up and consider calling in sick to give myself a Christmas break?

[BoBo16]

Started a new job early this year.

The shift pattern was hard in the first place (often 1 day off in 10 etc) but the Christmas rota has been horrendous.

I had to work the whole week before Christmas with just Christmas Eve off - I then worked Christmas Day, Boxing Day and I'm working today so that's every single bank holiday. I'm off tomorrow but then I'm working Thursday, Friday and Saturday with just New Year's Day off. I'm then back for the bank holiday Monday (surprise sunrise) and off Tuesday. I'm then back the rest of the week until the weekend of 7/8th Jan.

I have had no Christmas holiday at all. I've not even had two days off together. I've not seen my husband really or my kids. I'm exhausted. I'm fed up. I feel physically sick at the thought of going in for three more days on the trot. I feel victimised with the rota (nobody else's is as bad as mine, a few people have admitted this) and I feel utterly fucked off.

I'm so tired. WIBU to ring in sick on Thursday and Friday to give myself some time off and a rest? I'm handing in my notice this week also.

[BunnyBunnyMooseMoose]

I was one of those poor, neglected children whose mother dared to work as a nurse and therefore every other year we celebrated Christmas on whichever day she was free. Can't say it ever caused any upset.
When we were a bit older, we kids loved to put up the tree and decorate the house (we do that all on the afternoon before Christmas eve - whatever day it happened to be for us ) and my dad cooked so we could surprise her when she got back from work. Isn't it what family is about? Love and caring and being there for each other whatever life brings?

You know Lesmacarons, it is a little bit sad that you feel you can only celebrate Christmas on a certain day. Does it really matter?

[PurpleDaisies]

I was one of those poor, neglected children whose mother dared to work as a nurse and therefore every other year we celebrated Christmas on whichever day she was free. Can't say it ever caused any upset.

Me too. We just celebrated with dad it grandparents and again when she came back from work.

I don't think children actually suffer-it's that parents don't want to miss out. While that's understandable, it's not right to make others who aren't parents always miss out on what they want to do for Christmas.

[hollinhurst84]

Ours is just how each individual shift pattern falls, and no leave can be booked in Dec
So you might work Christmas and NY for 5 years running or you might get both off
I've done 24/25/26/28/29/30/31/01 - that's my pattern this year. Had two Christmas days off in 9 years but I just have to suck it up

[RubbishMantra]

LesM is obviously Kevin McCallister, and really was left Home Alone, fighting off burglars whilst their family lived it up in Florida.

On a serious note, I have no children, but I did have a DH, who died unexpectedly. Should I have not been allowed to access the fucking amazing support I received on here at some very bleak times, day and night, because we didn't have children? And the beautiful Woolly Hug that many mumsnetters contributed towards? (one of my most favourite possessions EVER).

[RubbishMantra]

*... and who got outed as a man trying to chat women up?

Did they have a smoking fetish?

[Bodicea]

As someone who used to work in a&e and has worked Christmas Day etc I didn't mind doing when I was child free. Not every year but I kind of do agree that the younger child free should do Christmas and get new year off and vice Versa.it shouldn't be set in stone and there should be a bit off give and take but as a general ethos at the time I felt I was paying it forward, working the christmases Pre kids, in the hope that in the future people without young kids would do the same for me. If someone is never having kids then of course they shouldn't work every Christmas.
I don't work in a&e anyway now as in a largely outpatient based environment with the bank hols off so doesn't matter anyway to me.

[Bodicea]

Oh and for the record op, that rota sounds terrible and I suspect you have got it due to being relatively new. Your managers sound like they have been unreasonable when you brought it up. So I would be tempted to say stuff them, do what you need to do.

[SecretWitch]

@IlsaLund, thank you for that comment. It cheered me right up 😂😂

OP, I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds horrid

[Sipperskipper]

lesmacarons if you have children, you have no more a right to Christmas etc off than anyone else. Have worked in various roles in nursing over last 15 years and do come across the odd person with this entitled, self centered attitude. Needless to say they don't last too long in a role involving shift work! Everyone has family they want to spend time with, whether its children, parents, elderly relatives or others. Having children is irrelevant. If you want every Christmas etc off work, don't go into nursing/medicine/policing/firefighting etc etc. No one cares that you have kids and rightly so - its a choice you make.

[Sipperskipper]

Ps OP - your rota sounds particularly unfair!

[SapphireStrange]

I kind of do agree that the younger child free should do Christmas and get new year off and vice Versa

No way. The only acceptable/workable 'general ethos' is that everyone is equally entitled to time off on big holidays, so rotas should reflect that.

Speaking for myself, even when I was younger I preferred Christmas off to New Year off. You can't just presume to know what someone who's younger and/or child-free might want. The ONLY fair way is to make everyone have a turn at the least popular shifts.

I do agree though that there should be a bit of give and take and people could, informally, sometimes swap among themselves.

[MsHooliesCardigan]

OP that rota does sound brutal. I'm an HCP and would be tempted to go off sick but probably wouldn't due to my Protestant work ethic. You're definitely doing the right thing getting out. Les I work in the community now so Christmas isn't an issue but I had to work on Christmas Day 3 times when my older 2 DCs were small. Twice I worked an early shift so got up with them to open their stockings, left for work and was home by 4pm for a late Christmas dinner and once we had dinner at 12pm and then I left for work. Neither of them seem particularly traumatised.
My DD finds hearing about my job fascinating (I'm a perinatal mental health nurse) and it has made her decide that she wants to be a midwife. DS1 is doing A levels. At his parent's evening, I had my work ID badge on. His biology teacher asked him what my job was and she has asked me to come in and give a talk about what I do as it's quite specialised.
I am very proud of what I do and my DCs are proud of me. Me not being there for part of the day for a few Christmases has had zero effect on them. I really like hearing the perspective of people who don't have children and of dads/men. 90% of the discussions on here have nothing to do with being a parent.

[Dulcimena]

Who has said that they don't like children? The only person who's posted anything like that has been you, Les. Good grief.

[Lesmacarons]

Obviously I have never posted that I don't like children. Several of this group have had some fun this afternoon saying it and making comments of that nature.

[PurpleDaisies]

No one said they don't like children les. You just decided that because people didn't agree parents should automatically get priority for Christmas Day off.

[Lesmacarons]

They have been posting ''never wanted children don't like them' etc and they seem to talk to each other. One of them posted in the hotel thread that he didn't want to hear any screaming babies - plus they keep on spouting opinions usually expressed by people unsympathetic to parents.

[RufusTheSpartacusReindeer]

I like my children

I dont like all children

Where was the pervy man?

[Dulcimena]

Les, no, they haven't. Nobody has said anything remotely like that.

[RufusTheSpartacusReindeer]

les

People tend to talk about the thread they are on

Hence the confusion over people saying they didnt see anyone saying that they hate children

[PurpleDaisies]

What hotel thread? That's not relevant to this thread.

Can you point to one post on this thread from a poster who doesn't like children?

[Dulcimena]

Les, it's a discussion forum, so yes people do seem to talk to each other. Like we are now. Different people have different thoughts and opinions. That's the beauty of an internet forum.

[PurpleDaisies]

People who don't agree with you are trolls?

Look at other threads on the same subject. People just don't think parents should have priority for Christmas off. That includes parents.