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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Been offered a job, WIBU to turn it down and continue claiming benefits?

111 replies

Stevenson100 · 27/12/2016 03:48

Really struggling here. I am a single mum to 3 gorgeous boys - I've been in remission for a while now and could easily work. I do need the money and I want to prove to my boys that even if you get knocked down (cancer) you get back up again and build something for yourself. I have qualifications and used to be a chef for a really great hotel company.

I was offered a job role just before Christmas and I need to let them know by the new year, I'll have to cook live lobsters. I am so not keen on this. I don't have an issue cooking with meats, etc. but to be a part of the killing process? There is no way I'd be comfortable with that and I think that would cause a massive problem. WIBU to turn this job down because of that? I'd obviously be looking for other work and finding whatever comes up and going for it.

OP posts:
caroldecker · 27/12/2016 11:28

Ubertasha A lot of meat in the UK is Halal - including in most schools.

roodie · 27/12/2016 11:33

Wow. First of all congratulations on your remission.
I'm a single parent to just two children and atm i'm dealing with full-time (phone in a locker all day, so impossible to job hunt) and also have to have a colcoscopy soon. The squeezing apts in around work without letting them know all of my business has been an additional pressure. Kids sandwiches still frozen when they eat them, I keep running out of milk and the youngest's homework is now pitiful! But at least I'm not on benefits. hmm. I'm earning about 50 more pw than if I were though.
So I am going to advise you to make the decision which prioritises your well-being and values your remission

crashdoll · 27/12/2016 11:37

Sorry but I do think you would BU. Firstly, as it may affect your benefits if you turn it down. Secondly, as a meat eater, I don't get why you are bothered about this but not other meat.

Andrewofgg · 27/12/2016 11:38

pinkmagic1 Of course management should be open to suggestions, but not necessarily from the new kid on the block and still less from the applicant who isn't even in the job yet. You take a job as it is and get your feet under the table first - or you don't take it in the first place.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/12/2016 11:43

Sorry to take this slightly off course, but I suppose its the same subject, but different topic, but
I don't agree with the statement of just take what ever job comes up. Not everyone is a suitable to every job. In some cases it could also be a safe guarding issue. For example you send someone with no patience or compassion to work in a care home, and they lose it with a poor elderly Lady when she soils herself.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 27/12/2016 12:10

awwlook This isn't the OP just taking whatever job has come up. She is a chef and this is a chefs job which she applied for. She knew it was a seafood restiatant when she applied, it didn't come as some great surprise after the job offer was received.

unlucky83 · 27/12/2016 12:18

Most humane way to kill a lobster is to chill it then cut its head in two. That severs the nervous system. It is dead in seconds, any movement then is just down to nerves - a reflex action - the headless chicken thing. Apparently humans do it too. Boiling water is really quick -but the water has to be fast boiling and a big enough pan so the lobster going in doesn't cool it down too much. Also not so good for bigger lobsters- takes longer for the heat to hit the 'brain'.

I used to kill trout from a restaurant pond. Hit them over the head. Cut their heads off, even so when you hit their back bone (nerve cord) when filleting them they would twitch.
I've seen lobster claws (just the claws) moving 30 mins after they have been killed and separated from their bodies.

I think unless you are a strict vegan - if you eat meat (even dairy) -or wear leather/have leather furniture etc- you have to accept animals have died and it is all about making it as quick and humane as possible.
I'm not a vegetarian. The only things I won't eat on principle are Foie Gras and white veal -as both cause suffering to the animals during their life. They are inherently cruel.
As part of my undergraduate degree we did an experiment on rat tissue. You could watch the rat be killed or not - I chose to watch it as I needed to know it had died quickly and painlessly - and it did, it didn't know what had hit it. Lots of people didn't as they couldn't 'watch an animal die' but then did the experiment and weren't vegans. I think it is hypocritical.

Original poster
Stevenson100 · 27/12/2016 13:06

I didn't just pick and choose. I do apply for jobs outside of work, these include supermarkets (as I can do night shifts) and delivering food at the hospital. The reason I think I have been unsuccessful with these is that I have no experience of public work, so I can't say I have ever worked with the public. The JC tend to have a go and say I should be applying for jobs that fit my criteria and tell me about all the chef ones available and say I need to go for them. I don't just expect the state to pay for me, but I have been a hard worker all my life and payed my taxes. Now I am able to work again, I'm trying to find a job. Why have you assumed I'm a meat eater? No, I don't have an issue cooking meats. I literally get given a piece of steak, chicken, etc. the animal is long gone and obviously I would NEVER work at a slaughter house.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 27/12/2016 13:07

Are you in receipt of JSA?

TSSDNCOP · 27/12/2016 13:27

Is it possible you could speak to your employer, explain that you really want the job but are unhappy about the lobster part.

Might it be that you find that in fact they are killed prior to cooking, or that someone other than you could be on lobster boiling duty?

Seems a shame to turn a job for which you are qualified without any discussion. IME if an employer really wants you they will be happy to discuss things like this before you accept the job as they realise it's just as much you being happy to work with them as vice versa.

JustSpeakSense · 27/12/2016 13:42

If taking this job is what's best for you and your family then you need do educate yourself on the humane killing of lobsters, and use this method in your job. I didn't my think this is reason enough to turn the job down as there are other ways to kill lobsters.

TheSlaughterOfHerodificado · 27/12/2016 13:42

The "screaming" is nothing more than the air in the shells expanding and escaping.

Maybe NN, but I can remember that "screaming', too - and their frantic attempts to scramble out of the pan! It was horrific!

I could never eat them

Andrewofgg · 27/12/2016 14:01

O/t but am I the only one on this thread thinking of Derek and Clive and the worst job I ever 'ad?

Newbrummie · 27/12/2016 14:03

Agent Clarence starling has joined Mumsnet 😝
I can't imagine any animal is accepting and quiet whilst being slaughtered if we were to give it that much thought

newmumwithquestions · 27/12/2016 14:53

I think YANBU OP. It's good to have morals and if boiling lobsters alive crosses over your moral line then you shouldn't do it.

However if you accept that you are prepared to loose the job then you have absolutely nothing to lose by talking to the restaurant manager. Thoroughly research lobster killing techniques first and decide what you would be happy with. Then explain how you feel and why. They might still take you on.

haveacupoftea · 27/12/2016 14:58

YANBU. I wouldnt do it.

crashdoll · 27/12/2016 15:03

Sorry OP but that was my wording, I meant me as a meat eater. I meant that I don't understand why preparing one sort of meat is ok but one isn't.

ilovesooty · 27/12/2016 15:07

I think whether the OP is claiming JSA is relevant here. If she is and she refuses the job she may well be sanctioned.

Katy07 · 27/12/2016 15:10

I'm afraid YABU. You've been offered a job which you can do and you have a responsibility to provide for your family rather than expecting someone else to do that while you look for the perfect job.
This. And while it's perfectly acceptable to not take a job for a moral reasons when you already have employment I believe it's wrong to do that when you're on benefits. The idea of benefits is supposed to be that they tide you over while you're unable to find work, not to keep you while you look for the perfect role.

Newbrummie · 27/12/2016 15:20

The woman had cancer ffs not a gap year

NewNNfor2017 · 27/12/2016 15:28

Those people who say they 'wouldn't do it' - can I ask if you're chefs?
I think it makes a difference TBH - because working in the food preparation sector is totally different to your own kitchen.

It's a bit like saying that you drive coaches and apply for a Driving job but then refuse to drive on motorways.

Chefs are expected to prepare dishes - it's the job

roodie · 27/12/2016 15:37

I agree newbrummie. Im happy to pay taxes so that a single parent who is in remission can make the decision thst is in her best interest. Honestly some taxpayers arent happy unless there is a very clesr and distinct rung beneath them, suffering.

expatinscotland · 27/12/2016 15:41

I'm craving seafood now.

Katy07 · 27/12/2016 15:50

The OP has clearly stated that she 'could easily work' therefore I think it's perfectly reasonable to assume that she should work. That way there are benefits available from the NOT-bottomless pit of funds for other people who find themselves physically / mentally incapable of work as OP did originally.

Newbrummie · 27/12/2016 16:02

You know what they are a bottomless pit actually, just numbers on a screen, none of its added up money in v's money out since WW2. It doesn't matter in the slightest if this woman gets £73 a week or not. Benefit cuts etc are idealistic not real pound notes.

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