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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gastric bypass on the cheap...

135 replies

hungryhippo90 · 26/12/2016 15:29

Posting here for traffic. After a particular shit time, I'm sat with a pen and paper, writing out goals for next year. So I've a few things to look towards in the coming year.

The biggest thing that would make me happiest is having a gastric bypass. I have always had issues with food. As a child I couldn't stop myself. I reached the age of 13-14 and started using anorexic techniques to not eat or severely restrict my diet

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/12/2016 17:01

If therapy worked we wouldn't have fat people's

Of course we would.

Therapists aren't god. They don't take away free will or remove personal responsibility.

They work with people who in turn work with them too.

The OP has said she has deeper issues. Finding the right therapist could well work for her.

But no-one can lose weight for the OP.

itsbetterthanabox · 26/12/2016 17:01

Murphy
I'm sorry for your friend but that's very unusual.
Most people won't liquidise food and make it disgusting just to 'cheat' the surgery. It works for the majority of people. Are her doctors aware she does this and feels like this about it?

MagicChicken · 26/12/2016 17:01

I agree with them actually Worra

Yes some people do have a strong obsessive compulsion to overeat and if the causes of that are not addressed then weight loss surgery will not always be a perfect long term solution on its own. Of course the OP will need to work on understanding why she is an emotional eater, but that will be much less of an uphill struggle if she has a GB and can lose weight easily and naturally as a result of being forced to eat less, in conjunction with having therapy to understand how she got there in the first place.

As an emotional eater myself I can tell you that understanding why I do it is helpful to a point, and all very well, but it doesn't necessarily stop me doing it. It's only half the answer to a very complex problem.

If you have a huge amount of weight to lose then it can't possibly hurt to lose it quickly with the help of bariatric surgery as well as having therapy in order to understand the triggers and emotional responses that cause you to reach for food to self medicate or self sabotage.

Don't underestimate how depressing and demoralising very very slow weight loss can be when you have many stones to lose and you are trying so hard.

itsbetterthanabox · 26/12/2016 17:03

Where are these therapists?
I've never heard of one and I've had extensive CBT and counselling for anxiety issues plus looked into and been offered weight loss procedures/treatments and help. Never a therapist.
Do you actually mean hypnosis or something?

PacificDogwod · 26/12/2016 17:04

Well, speaking for myself, IMO overeaters do very well on a Low Carb Healthy Fats diet Grin

It's easy, it's yummy, it's not restricting, you are 'allowed' to eat when you feel like it and you WILL feel full before you've consumed too many calories (that is before the metabolic advantages to reducing insulin production kick in).

I still think therapy can help a lot of people to recognise their patterns of dysfunctional eating.

HeCantBeSerious · 26/12/2016 17:05

My aunt had a band followed by a bypass. But she didn't address the mental issues so her gut basically made a new stomach. When she started having gall bladder problems (common with such drastic surgery) no other surgeon would touch her,so she had to wait till he was free to remove it. She's poorly all the time and has dreadful quality of life. She has to cross the country to see her surgeon/consultant and is sick upwards of 4 times a day. She's thinner but looks horrendous. Can't sleep due to acid reflux and can't change her eating habits. 8 years on the surgery that was supposed to change her life has destroyed her.

Mouikey · 26/12/2016 17:06

Sorry for the long post - just to add, if you have a bypass I don't believe you can cheat, if you do you get very sick (I still do). I also can eat 'normal' food, just not in big quantities. Do those who liquidise, they have serious issues (I'm not sure I believe this - sorry pp) as they would get no enjoyment from the taste or texture of food just the calories!!

PacificDogwod · 26/12/2016 17:08

I have known people who have lost many stones with a bypass, to put it all back on again - because they discovered that Mars bars can be blended....

Address HOW you eat - your weight will come off and stay off.

Shinyshoes2 · 26/12/2016 17:09

Afaik the band isn't done anymore on the NHS
I'm currently awaiting a date for the gastric bypass , it's not easy . I too am 11 stones overweight and have developed diabetes as a result
This was the tick in the box I needed to be accepted for wls ( weight loss surgery )
Research research and research some more
There are lots of people that go abroad and have succesful wls
Good luck op

Mari50 · 26/12/2016 17:09

Don't ever do any health procedure on the cheap, best case scenario the NHS can fix the fuck up at an expense to the tax payer, worst case scenario you die or have irreversible problems. Amazes me how many people are prepared to be cheap when it comes to health. Sorry to be blunt but that's the truth and I've dealt with some fuck ups due to people doing things on the cheap at work and it's never good.

itsbetterthanabox · 26/12/2016 17:10

Pacificdog
Low carb often makes anxiety and depression worse which is already common in very obese people.
I found it destroyed my mental health even though I lost weight quite quickly.
Also eating that much fat and protein and less fibre is horrible for anyone with IBS 🙈

PacificDogwod · 26/12/2016 17:13

That's interesting, Itsbetter, thanks.
I found that constipation resolved when I got my vegetable : fat ration right fwiw.

WLS is still offered on the NHS, it does vary from health board to health board, and I do think it is superb for some people. BUT - the surgery is a small part of its success. Dietetic and counselling support are absolutely crucial IME.

MagicChicken · 26/12/2016 17:16

Low carb often makes anxiety and depression worse which is already common in very obese people.

Really? Confused

That goes totally against everything I have ever heard/read and personally experienced from low carbing myself. Can you explain or offer citations for that?

miserywithmincepies · 26/12/2016 17:18

It's the 'standing on the shoulders of giants' mentality. If it comes 'easily' in some ways people think that's bad, bad, bad. To lose weight you should struggle.

Fuck that. Life's too short!

MagicChicken · 26/12/2016 17:21

totally agree misery!

I think there is an assumption that losing weight relatively easily means you don't go through the obligatory punishment for having 'allowed' yourself to put it on in the first place!

Evennumberonthevolume · 26/12/2016 17:25

I'd never have surgery done abroad (I've had a breast reduction and rhinoplasty) because it's too risky. The UK is the best.

But I just wouldn't recommend it ... it doesn't fix the psychological issue that causes you to over eat.

FabulouslyGlamourousFerret · 26/12/2016 17:29

itsbetterthanabox
snap! In remission now though.

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2016 17:30

Going through an 'obligatory punishment' and dealing with the deep issues that caused such a poor relationship with food in the first place, are two very different things.

Although having said that, some people do believe they deserve to be punished for their weight gain, but again that's more to do with the deeper issues.

miserywithmincepies · 26/12/2016 17:30

It stops you over eating. That's what you want it to do! If people wish to meditate or whatever whilst doing so that's fine but there is no talk therapy with a 98% success rate for obesity.

itsbetterthanabox · 26/12/2016 17:40

Magic chicken
This seems to explain it
http://ctsi.ucla.edu/education/files/view/training/docs/WadekarCS.pdf
But it was my personal experience plus if you go on forums many, many people have the same experience.
And with dieting and mental health it's all very much how you experience it and if it makes either worse then it's not gonna work well.
Worth trying but watch out! Everyone's different. Glad it works for you.

Original poster
hungryhippo90 · 26/12/2016 17:41

Sorry trying to catch up!

I do exercise. I walk 1 hour plus each day, which I hoped would have an effect on the weight loss. Sadly it's not melted any real weight off in the 6 months I've been doing it.
I do have pcos which may be why the loss is so slow!

Someone else mentioned the effect on people long term after the OP. I eat quite regularly with two people who have had this OP. One had it ten years ago. She's still often quite ill because of it. Still says it was the best thing she ever did, went from 28 stone to 15. She has to have b12 injections, and a good multivitamin each day because she can't get the nutrients.

The second really struggles, it's within the first year for him. 25 stone to 17 in 9 months. He goes out for dinner and feels so dejected with each meal, he can't get more than 3 or four forkfuls in. Then there's the sugar dumping syndrome. He also suffers terrible heartburn. But he has managed to come off of a lot of medication that he was on before the OP.

I wouldn't go abroad. I just wondered whether there were certain parts of the uk that were cheaper than others for this surgery. I know that spire healthcare seem to do it for around the 8k mark... which is like to get lower than if possible. But not at the cost of going out of the country.

OP posts:
MagicChicken · 26/12/2016 17:42

it doesn't fix the psychological issue that causes you to over eat.

Maybe not, but it does generally) stop you overeating and therefore being hugely overweight, so that's okay right?

The underlying issues can and should be dealt with but it's perfectly okay to deal with them as a separate thing. And even if you never deal with them at all, at least there's a good chance you'll be be screwed up person of a healthy weight instead of being still screwed up and still obese.

There is a vicious cycle element to obesity caused through emotional /compulsive eating, caused by low self esteem/depression/stress. The obesity itself is often a big cause of the stress and the low self esteem thus causing yet more over eating to either self medicate for emotional pain and stress or to self sabotage in moments of self hatred.

itsbetterthanabox · 26/12/2016 17:45

Ferret
Mines also in remission!
It wasn't when I was denied the surgery though..
I met someone the other day who has it and it's completely disabling. Scared me as I've never really had any symptoms.
Have you been told to lose weight?

miserywithmincepies · 26/12/2016 17:46

Indeed Magic

Or, if I may surmise:

OP - should I consider an operation with a 98% success rate?
Everyone - no, you should have therapy with absolutely no proven success rate.

The above sounds very much as if I am deliberately being disagreeable. In fact, I'm not. It's very much how we 'see' obesity in this country and 'easy' forms of weight loss are very much frowned upon in a way that other things for other addictions (and it is an addiction) are not.

Had OP posted about, say, using an e-cig or even methadone or whatever I doubt the replies would be as earnest in steering her away.

It's because we see obesity as the ultimate lack of self control. It's that we seek to bring under control. Truth is though, in some cases, you just can't.

SnowBodyforrrrm · 26/12/2016 17:48

My aunt had one done and had managed to regain most of the weight she initially lost as the surgery doesn't address the issues she had with food and unfortunately she seems to have stretched her stomach again. Her daughter went onto have the surgery after seeing the results of her mums surgery (in the first few months) and nearly died following the procedure.

It's definitely not an OP to be taken lightly nor is it a quick fix. I have weight to lose and intend this to be the year I stop with the diets and change my lifestyle once and for all!