My mum went through the menopause when I was 13. I'm her only child, and she says she wanted more. She actually did something I disagree with ethically to try and get more, but failed.
At age 14, she started telling me that if I got pregnant, it would be fine. She would care for the baby, and let me continue my education. She made it clear she could never understand a termination. Further comments over the years made me feel like since I became a woman, I was a walking uterus to her, and that my only function was to find a man and some sperm. This has caused me major problems in my life.
I have two kids, and I know she plans for me to have more. I have no such plans, but can't stop her talking about my future kids, and how she'll be more involved with them now she's retired. If anything, that puts me off having any more at all.
At Christmas, she made a comment to the kids about 'their children'. I barked back that they might not have children pretty sharpish.
There is no right to become a grandparent. There is certainly no right to make your child feel like a bitch you're putting out to stud.
It's quite nice to know I'm not the only one with this. But all these mums, can't they fathom how fucking crazy they're being?
I suspect my mum also grieves for the wedding we both know I'll never have. I would never get married, but she cannot understand it at all. To her, all women are good for are to marry well and have kids. I think it's a self esteem thing. But she is not passing on that particular fuck up to my kids.
Pah, if I get grandkids, then that's nice. But they won't be my babies, or a second chance to have babies. They will be my babies babies,and I hope they don't have them until they want them.