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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect her to pay for my flight

28 replies

Isyss · 25/12/2016 22:01

I had plastic surgery in another country (please dont judge me its my body and my money) this year and everything went well. My cousin has decided she will like the same procedure and asked me to go with her which I said yes.
She had not yet mentioned about paying for my flight because I would assume this is standard considering I have no business being abroad and flying is not free.
So considering the date is getting closer I said to her are you going to pay for my flight and she said no she thought I was just coming because I was meant to get something else but I decided I did not want to anymore.

The flight is around £550 plus accommodation which will be around another £200.

aibu expecting her to pay if she wants me to come and look after her?

I went alone.

OP posts:
GloriousHarpy · 25/12/2016 22:02

You made a huge and completely unfounded assumption. She'll have to manage her newly-augmented bosoms alone.

pipsqueak25 · 25/12/2016 22:03

if she wants you there she should pay for your flight, not judging your treatment that's your business noone elses. you need to speak to her asap

JenLindleyShitMom · 25/12/2016 22:04

Sounds like you had planned another procedure and have changed your mind. In which case you should either pay for your flight or cancel it.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 25/12/2016 22:04

Er. Yes. YABU. If she didn't say she was laying why would you assume she would?

You wouldn't be unreasonable to refuse yo go now though.

pipsqueak25 · 25/12/2016 22:05

Glorious miaow Grin but you do have a point

christmasjolity · 25/12/2016 22:15

£550 flight- where are you going- well outside europe and into asia at that price.

Original poster
Isyss · 25/12/2016 22:18

Latin america

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 25/12/2016 22:21

Totally crossed wires. She thought you were going. You are not and though she was paying. Unless you want to go for a check-up/consultation/holiday then she should be paying. Otherwise she needs to accept going on her own.

creakyknees13 · 25/12/2016 22:31

Latin America? For plastic surgery? From the UK? Why the hell would you not just have it done here? Are we talking butt-lift here?

pipsqueak25 · 25/12/2016 22:33

what about europe, cheaper still.

Palegreenstars · 25/12/2016 22:55

Why would you assume she'd pay? Is she crazy rich?

arethereanyleftatall · 25/12/2016 23:17

Yabu.
If I were in your situation, it wouldn't have crossed my mind that she would pay for the flight.
Generally, if someone asks you if you want to go on holiday with them, they aren't saying they'll pay for you. Just 'do you want to come, yes or no'. In fact, she could be pretty narked if she thought you were coming and now you've pulled out at the eleventh hour.

harderandharder2breathe · 25/12/2016 23:33

Just don't go then?

flumpybear · 25/12/2016 23:35

Seriously!!! Surgery in South America??!!??!! Horrified!!!

Framboise18 · 25/12/2016 23:37

I agree with arethereanyleftatall

Bluntness100 · 25/12/2016 23:39

How bizzare, if you were originally going as you wanted a procedure and changed your mind then just say you're not going any more. She clearly thought that for a reason.

Shelvesoutofbooks · 25/12/2016 23:43

YANBU. If she wated you to come there to look after her then she needed to pay for flights. But if you were going to get another procedure done and changed your mind then YABU.

What surgeons are you going to? Going to Latin America for cosmetic surgery is a normal thing in the USA. Surgeons there are great and cheap. Just make sure she has her RH sorted if she's staying on her own.

TinFoilMilkShake · 25/12/2016 23:45

Where does the op say she was going and changed her mind?

It's not a holiday. The other person is having surgery. That means op playing nursemaid. I'd assume it was free too as you're doing her a favour

Bleurghghghgh · 25/12/2016 23:47

TinFoil OP said 'she thought I was just coming because I was meant to get something else but I decided I did not want to anymore.' Which is either a huge (and random) assumption from her friend or OP dripfeeding

TinFoilMilkShake · 25/12/2016 23:47

So considering the date is getting closer I said to her are you going to pay for my flight and she said no she thought I was just coming because I was meant to get something else but I decided I did not want to anymore.

That reads to me the other woman made an assumption but it was never that the other person was coming along with the op's surgery

cees · 25/12/2016 23:48

Well if she asked you to go and help her post op then she should pay for your flight and accommodation in my eyes. If won't be a holiday for you as you would be taking care of her after her op.

CaraAspen · 25/12/2016 23:48

I'm afraid people will judge you, OP, whether you like it or not.

WyfOfBathe · 25/12/2016 23:55

Where does the op say she was going and changed her mind?

In her OP: I was just coming because I was meant to get something else but I decided I did not want to anymore.

WyfOfBathe · 25/12/2016 23:57

OP, unless your cousin is very rich there's no way I would expect anyone to have a spare £500-800 to pay for me to go with them. So YABU to expect her to pay.

However, YWNBU to decide that you no longer want to go, as it seems that it was a genuine misunderstanding.

JenLindleyShitMom · 25/12/2016 23:57

I'm afraid people will judge you, OP, whether you like it or not.

Well nobody has....