AIBU to ask for your irritating family stories at Christmas time?

[shakeyospeare]

Bloody MIL has spent this morning making sly digs about my parenting - from accusing me of depriving DD2 by not giving her a bottle (!!) to the way I dress her (i.e., not in girly, flouncy, frilly dresses) to the fact she's vegetarian and now how she doesn't have juice and prefers water...

DP doesn't say anything, but ends up carrying on the digs making me feeling on edge and uncomfortable. They make me feel like an incompetent hippy child with daft ideas.

MIL has never forgiven me for breastfeeding and co-sleeping because she expected to have DD2 overnight as soon as she was born 

Tell me your irritating family stories and keep me sane 

On the whole we had a good few days, if you can ignore too many people and animals in too small a house, a PA MIL who refuses to take regular doses is strong prescription pain medication for a debilitating back condition, crappy aircon in 40C heat and a very put upon FIL who (after 36 hours of constant bitching from MIL) nearly threw a cool box full of ice and prawns at MILs head!!

We all ended up sniping at each other and the bad times definitely overshadowed the good.

From now on it's our house, our rules. MIL put so much pressure on herself to make it perfect and couldn't deal but got stressed that she needed to accept help.

Christmas Day started off brilliantly - we got up at 6am, FC had been, we opened all the presents. Went over to my mums and opened more presents, dc excited and happy - great.

Got home at 12 and was feeling 'off' then developed back pain that suddenly moved to my stomach and I was in agony - i'm 20 weeks pregnant. I had to go to the ooo Dr at 2pm who sent me straight to hospital (and dh with me) - where we were stuck until nearly midnight waiting for tests.

So the dc had Xmas dinner at our house, with MIL and BIL and no parents. Ds2 got upset and cried and dh and I had corned beef sandwiches on the ward at 6pm - sucked big time .

How are you now Green?

I love my Mum in Law.
Recently widowed ( very controlling husband) and making the most of life.
She feigned interest in a conversation with a very boring neighbour.
She peeled all the vegetables.
Did tons of washing up
And said " I'll get out of your way now I know what it feels like to have other people in the kitchen when you are cooking".

Thanks for asking Queen - i'm fine today and the pain is much, much less. They sent me home at midnight after the blood tests came back clear and the baby was checked. There was no explanation, just maybe something got pulled or twisted the wrong way due to the pregnancy pushing organs about. Which is great that there's nothing wrong but so frustrating that it had to happen yesterday!

I'll probably be dead next year so you won't have to go to any trouble for me then

Answer: that would be good of you.

Hope you're okay Green!

For everyone else, and lots of

It was dh's first Christmas without his dad this year, he passed away in the summer. Last Christmas was spent managing Fil's depression, talking to paramaedics and doctors on the phone about trying to get his meds to him and making sure he took them. This year, although obviously it's sad that he's gone, it was actually really peaceful and happy, just us and the dcs. We had a lovely day.

My response would have to be "OK, I'll hold you to that."... That's a bit like my mother.."give me another couple of years, and bury me under the patio".."righto then, I'll polish the spade", and DD "can i have your bedroom?"...

Glad you're feeling better Green.
Mil only comes for a hour in the morning. I was in the kitchen hiding.
She started on DH for getting whiskey from me and DD. It escalated into a row in which she accused DH of being an alcoholic and basically was on the way to wreck and ruin.
Later she said she couldn't wait to get home for her Irish coffee…

Great thread!

My MIL likes to take family celebrations as her cue to tell DH how much fun she had talking to his ex at our wedding, what a sweet girl she is and to pass on her regards.
A) She is not a sweet girl, she's a PA cow who did her utmost to break DH and me up
B) Christmas dinner is not the place!

Ah here you all are. We had the best Christmas Day, at home the four of us for most of it and popped out in the evening to visit my family. Very gentle, fun, kids all exhausted and in bed with smiles.

Today we went to the in-laws. DH ended up insisting we leave early, even though we got there late, because he was so annoyed with the lot of them. They kept sticking up for the damn dog, who growls and snaps at our children, and everyone was making a huge fuss about having to put him out.

He bit then baby DD on the cheek last Xmas, so DH is rightly nervous. Shame really, as it's taken 10 years for us all to get on fairly well, if they hadn't have got the dog we'd all be doing great.

I walked in on them all complaining about DH, when he's worth a million of them! So I gave up trying to smooth the ruffled feathers all around and agreed with DH that we need to leave ASAP.

My SIL and partner came around today. She is ok but he is a sexist pig. Sits there on his backside and spouts stuff about politics and women. Complete arsehole. DD always makes herself scarce

My sister and step dad are self centered arseholes who let my mother run after them and have no manners just started eating before everybody was settled i was so annoyed with the pair of them yesterday

Oh and my sisters dog was allowed to sit on the chair arm begging for food if it wasn't for mum i would have not gone

Bloody hell Moo! Did you post a thread about your pil's Cujo a while back?
Why on earth wasn't it put down after biting your poor baby?

Mil. Miserable, difficult woman. Utterly joyless. I struggle greatly to be around her.

Dp has felt bad so gone there last 3 years in a row for Christmas (I've been one of those times.) This year he came to my family (can't do both due to distance) and she's sent umpteen texts to let him know how miserable she's been despite having other family around.

We will have seen her both before and after Christmas but nothing is ever enough.

My DF and the ILs have been hovering in the kitchen like a entire elderly set of Father Stones from Father Ted. Not offering to do anything, not even speaking. Just standing there, four steps behind me, as if waiting for a moment's privacy to impart something really earth-shattering... then saying nothing.

Heerrruuuugggghhhhh.

Queen I probably did. It didn't do any damage to dd, it hurt and shocked her but no blood or marks, and there was a lot of 'he's just a puppy' at the time. He's not a puppy now, thing runs riot, jumping up and all over furniture and people,and is not at all trained. It growls if you go near its belongings, if the kids go near MIL. We hardly go over anymore because of it. Just went for Xmas, will be March probably before we go again.

TheWorstNoel they clearly need instructions. Get them all strong drinks and stick them in front of the telly with strict instructions to stay put.

That would be a total deal breaker for me Moo, I wouldn't be setting foot there again, especially with kids in tow. And I am a keen dog owner. Poor dog has obviously had an awful upbringing.

When I was growing up our Christmas always ran to a pattern. All my grandparents would be there. Within 6 hours of mums mum being there they would be bickering. Then dad's parents would turn up. Everything nanny did mum took as her mother in law disapproving or insulting her (I don't think she was - she just was incredibly introverted, set in her ways and had a resting birch face so it always could look like criticism to an already knackered and strung out person). The grandparents would discuss their ailments and medications, insist on watching all the soaps and would barely interact with us children. We learnt to stay quiet and do our own thing. At some point there would be the Christmas argument - one year it was over whether the washing up was done during or after countdown (my sister wanted to watch it. Mum was annoyed the dishes weren't done). That year dad and I ended up locking ourselves in the kitchen with one of my new cds on very loud as mum and sister argued and then gave each other the silent treatment. To be fair the argument was usually between mum.and dad the following day. All the stress and pressure at Christmas as a child has made it a very anxiety driven time of year.

Now that I have in laws and children of my own it hasn't got any easier to navigate due to the emotional blackmail and pressure of expectation from DHs family. (they are mostly fine and probably don't realise and it's really because of my anxiety that I feel it more than they would realise).

I had to come back to this thread.

I've just got my parents off to bed after hosting them today, and we mostly had a lovely time, but I am going to be cringing for a long, long time about my dad's decision to grill DP (who is a biologist) about what possible evolutionary arguments could justify lesbianism. Argh.