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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask for your irritating family stories at Christmas time?

100 replies

shakeyospeare · 25/12/2016 18:20

Bloody MIL has spent this morning making sly digs about my parenting - from accusing me of depriving DD2 by not giving her a bottle (!!) to the way I dress her (i.e., not in girly, flouncy, frilly dresses) to the fact she's vegetarian and now how she doesn't have juice and prefers water...

DP doesn't say anything, but ends up carrying on the digs making me feeling on edge and uncomfortable. They make me feel like an incompetent hippy child with daft ideas.

MIL has never forgiven me for breastfeeding and co-sleeping because she expected to have DD2 overnight as soon as she was born 

Tell me your irritating family stories and keep me sane 

OP posts:
dingit · 25/12/2016 19:50

Yep. Dd had a bit of a meltdown ( overtired) and Dm announced proudly that when I was like that, she used to drag me up the stairs by my hair 😒

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout · 25/12/2016 20:07

Pipsqueak Grin love it. I've never actually said that out loud

Littledrummergirl · 25/12/2016 20:08

Mil arrived Friday evening with a bit of a cough/cold. She decided she was poorly this morning, came downstairs eventually, opened her presents and went back to bed.

She has been there ever since.
I don't do sympathy very well and have left her there, throwing soup and a sandwich in her direction.

The rest of us have had a lovely day. Xmas Smile

fuxxake · 25/12/2016 20:15

Sprout mine's been saying that for years. I live in hope......

Cherrysoup · 25/12/2016 20:18

My daunt used to always host Christmas dinner. Her dcs were much younger than me and my db, so it made sense. Every single year, my dm would get shitfaced and demand to be taken home well before anyone else wanted. Df, of course, would be obliged to stay sober every time so he could ferry her home, even if it was mid-Bond film that everyone was watching. She's still doing it. My db is there this year and has sent me a picture of the glass recycling from yesterday. It's full. :(

shakeyospeare · 25/12/2016 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 25/12/2016 20:42

Mine starts with a long car journey and ends with a privacy partition being chucked onto a lawn Confused

We once drove to my mum's house in France for Christmas, we were doing a 'car swap' on behalf of my grandparents and mum (as in taking GPs car from England to France and bringing a different one back).

A few days before we set off, a parcel arrived at my door. Apparently my mum told her friends in france that their DD could send her presents for them to our house and I'd pop them in the car. I never agreed to this and despite the parcel being HUGE I brought it. The day before we set off my GPs dropped the car off, we went to put our (small) suitcase and presents in to find a full boot. Mum had given them a list of British goods like Daz and Fairy Liquid because you can't get it in france and she wanted some. We were childless then so could only just fit everything in the back seats, I had to pull the passenger seat so far forward it nearly crushed my knees. Was looking forward to a lovely recline on the way but no chance!

16 hour journey later we arrived at mum's house, tired and gasping for a cuppa. We barely got a 'hello', they immediately opened the boot to check everything on their shopping list was there Hmm

But the worst bit was when we went to come back. Looking back it's actually quite funny.

I was looking forward to being able to push the seat back and recline it this time as we only had our stuff, which we popped in the boot the night before we left. The car we were returning was a total tin can though, much older than what we took over and in terrible condition. The passenger door didn't open from the outside, only the inside.

On the morning we were leaving, it's about 6 hour drive to the port and our ferry was leaving at 4pm, so we thought for good measure we'd leave at 8am. We were up and dressed on time, and then mum mentioned 'oh we have a few boxes for you to take back for your nan if that's ok?'. i though 'FFS' and said as long as it's just a few as coming over was a joke....30 minutes later they're still arsing around trying to fit boxes in the back. They also dropped into the conversation that a few boxes were for their friend who lived in Congleton, did we mind dropping them off on the way back? (Yes we do mind it's a 50 mile fecking detour). We were getting really pissed off as they squashed boxes into the tin can car.

Then the piece de resistance.. out comes a privacy partition. A fucking privacy partition!! With jangly clinky jewel things on it. For my nan apparently. Stepdad, by some miracle, managed to fit in on the tin can via the parcel shelf, except it had to rest on the shoulder of the passenger seat. Meaning DH had to contort himself to open the passenger door to let me in. When I got in I found my seat was once again pulled really far forward, and that to avoid head butting the privacy partition (which clink-clanked every time you so much as breathed) I had to lean my head to the right.

Well I sort of lost it, I couldn't spend 16 hours like that, making my neck sore listening to the jangly rattling. I got out the car, ranted about how out of order they were expecting us to do this last minute, making us late setting off and cramming the car with crap. We were told that we were the lucky ones as due to the car swap we were saving mileage on our car (we'd have flown had the cars not been getting swapped actually and I wish we had). After a slightly Jeremy-Kyle esque row in the rather naice little gite, mum and stepdad huffed off back into the house, and we left the boxes for Congleton friend and the privacy partition on the lawn. After setting off I sent mum a text saying "your privacy partition is on the front lawn of you need it" which is hands down the most random text I've ever sent. We only just made the ferry with about 30 Seconds to spare!

Everyone made up but were reminded about that time we 'made a big fuss over a couple of small boxes and launched the vair expensive privacy partition into the soil' HmmGrin

5000candlesinthewind · 25/12/2016 20:46

A couple of years ago we decided to invite some family members over for a Boxing Day buffet. It had been planned for a long time, we'd spoken in depth about food we were doing etc.

We did so much food that the table was nearly buckling!
Family members turned up exclaiming how full they were from their huge late breakfast buffet and couldn't possibly eat a thing Angry

Seahawk80 · 25/12/2016 20:47

I'm 13 weeks pregnant and staying with my in laws, first grandchild and they are v excited, which is nice BUT, it is the only thing they talk to me about and they constantly bring it up. It's like I don't exist as a personal anymore. I feel like I'm just a vessel for their heir! I'm about to go to bed because I'm so sick of it - at least I can say I'm tired because I'm pregnant!!

2ndSopranos · 25/12/2016 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SandysMam · 25/12/2016 21:26

Just given FIL a lift back from lunch out...he trod in dog shit and plonked his feet straight on my maternity notes which I had in the car just in case. I know I could have moved them but didn't realise they were there...and it was quite clear to him he was putting his feet on something other than the Matt so he could have moved them too!! I bloody hate him and I hate Christmas baaahhh humbug!!!
Love this thread though!

ChapstickLegends · 25/12/2016 21:26

Not my story (obvs!) but Australian comedian Judith Lucy had a cracker of a Christmas one year: vimeo.com/118627771

arethereanyleftatall · 25/12/2016 21:37

Our Christmas has been 'ruined' (according to stepdad) because breakfast was supposed to be at 9.30am, and ended being approx 9.35. The chat around the dinner table wasn't good enough so Christmas was an 'anti-climax.' (Stepdad). And on and on all day similar. Dh has been gardening the entire day to avoid.

stubbornstains · 25/12/2016 21:39

Ooooohhh......my aunt. My parents too, but my aunt especially. She doesn't appear to have a personality.
"Would you like X or Y to eat, Auntie?" "Ooh, I don't mind".
Coming into the living room, and she will just stand there, for 15 mins if necessary, until invited to sit down.
"Would you like to watch this film, Auntie?" "Ooh, I don't know, really".
"I know you enjoy going to church, Auntie. Would you like to go to this carol service in town?" "Ooh, I don't mind". (Halfway through the service, starts shifting from foot to foot). "Are you OK, Auntie? Would you like to stay for longer, or would you like to go for a cup of tea?" "Oh, I don't mind....whatever you'd like".
Etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc....They're here for a week (sobs).

shakeyospeare · 25/12/2016 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSiba · 25/12/2016 22:11

Ooh a thread I can vent on.

Our turn - it's always our turn - no other fucker will have her - to face MIL. I couldn't be arsed to cook am packing for a house move so suggested we eat out. Was gobsmacked how quickly DH organized it, he who usually "isn't good at that sort of thing" Hmm

She arrives and so begins her constant inane wittering about anything and everything as long as it is about her. ....her shit clothes, why she chose to wear those trousers, amount of glue applied to her false teeth especially for her big dinner, her self diagnosed multiple health problems (increased since last time). Over dinner I have her drink poured over me (accidentally) because she put it right at the edge of the table. I go home and change and come back to watch her stuff herself with 3 courses then tell us all she is waiting to burp. Completely disgusting. She complains how full she is all the way home. Don't be such a fucking greedy pig then!

We open a few more presents as we have tried not to overwhelm dd . I got her a matching cards together game called Memory. "Ooh that's no good for me", she says. DH says it's like snap. Oh I can do that, she replies.

IT'S NOT FOR FUCKING YOU, YOU SELF OBSESSED MORON. Angry Angry

(Feels good to get that off my chest.......aaaaaand breathe!!!!!)

Apologies for giant post

MrsSiba · 25/12/2016 22:12

You all have my sympathies. ....great thread

arethereanyleftatall · 25/12/2016 23:06

This thread is so refreshing. I can't face any more Facebook photos of people appearing to be having a good time, even laughing can you imagine, with their parents/in laws.

Heatherplant · 26/12/2016 00:03

The annual Christmas visit to the in laws. Highlights this year include MIL refusing to speak to me or acknowledge anything I said, MIL criticising everything from parenting to my appearance (I look like a gorilla apparently), general passive aggressive nastiness and outright bizarre behaviour (she doesn't want anyone to know who I am but wants people to know she has a new grandchild so suggested we have a drive around the town with baby on my knee). The only positive thing about this is she lives in a different country so I got home on the 23rd and there is fucking all chance she will ever seen me dh and the children on Christmas unless she is visited by three ghosts and totally changes her ways.

ethelb · 26/12/2016 09:38

The ILs are downstairs testing whether or not saying Frederick Forsyth near a phone will make it appear higher in your google search rankings.
BIL is a conspiracy theorist.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/12/2016 10:05

We've had a lovely Christmas Day because it was just me and DP. However, we are looking forward to a big family celebration which I imagine will be good value as, apparently, SIL has insisted (as of a couple of days ago, with no time for anyone to do anything about it) that there shall be no trimmings for the roast as she doesn't want all the fuss (she's not cooking or hosting), and there shall not be 'too many' presents as the children get too excited. Eek!

We saw DP's family on Christmas Eve, which was lovely but also slightly stressful. DP is pregnant with our DC1 and her mother punctuates all conversations with a mix of commandments ('no dummies!'), out-of-date advice ('you don't need to wear a seatbelt, you're pregnant', 'rub Whiskey on their gums when they're teething') and the occasional power play about whether she gets more of a say than me, because it's her grandchild (and, presumably, nothing to do with me ...).

reallybadidea · 26/12/2016 10:07

I swear to god my MIL thinks that she's come to our house to watch a live cookery programme. While DH and I were rushing around cooking Christmas dinner yesterday, laying the table, washing up etc, she literally sat and watched us. I don't really expect her to help (although most other people I know would) but how anyone can sit and watch their hosts and not lift a finger is a mystery to me. Tbh I'd mind less if she interacted with all of us a bit more, but like stubbornstains's aunt, she has no opinion or preferences so conversation is extremely limited.

Kids have already asked if we can go to my parents' next Christmas and I can't say I blame them...

CigarsofthePharoahs · 26/12/2016 11:05

I can only tell you what happened last year and the year before.
My mum was technically hosting, but I do all the cooking as she's bad at it and anyway, she wants to have time with her grandchildren that she doesn't get to see very often.
My aunt was there. For many years she's totally ignored us at Christmas. She and her husband have always gone on holiday. Now he's passed away she's remembered we still exist and has been insisting on joining in.
Except she clearly doesn't enjoy it. Both last year and the year before she spent a large part of the morning telling me I was essentially doing all the cooking wrong. I had to listen to long droning monologues about how I shouldn't be bothering with all that, why was I going to so much effort, why didn't I just use Aunt Bessies/stuff out of packets etc etc etc.
Gaah! Because it's Christmas you miserable woman! I don't go to this much effort with a roast dinner any other time of the year, but it's Christmas so I make it special. Everyone else bloody likes it!
Last year she asked me to do her own version of each dish as she didn't eat bacon, didn't like cream, it would be too much for her blah blah blah.
In the mean time my sisters new puppy bit my toddler and my niece had several screaming tantrums.

This year we have had a quiet Christmas in our own house. I have made dinner how DH and I like it - cream and bacon in lots of places - and it's so nice just to kick back and relax on Christmas day! The house was a mess and we didn't care.

daddyorscience · 26/12/2016 11:14

Well, bugger. I had a nice day yesterday cooking for the DC and my mum, then a quick visit from the ex to collect the children for boxing day.. Quite chatty, bit guarded, but not outright hostile which is always good, and today I'll probably go and see the (ex)MIL.. (Or is she? You know, we have kids together (me and the ex, obvs), but is MIL still MIL, or not?).

I'm afraid I feel rather left out..Xmas Blush

IDontLookMyAge76 · 26/12/2016 11:33

Just had worse xmas day ever.

Had worked 2 long days cause swapped shifts so I'd be off Xmas eve so I could get things ready for OH'S patents coming. OH was supposed to be home bout 4 after his work. Phones at half 4 asking how I was getting on and told him d not sat dwn since 10am and still had loads to do. He said he'd be home soon.

His parents show up when I'm in the middle of cleaning the bathroom. No idea where OH is, he finally calls at 6 to say he's in the pub playing an impromptu gig.

I send them out n finish the cleaning, dinner and only just sit down when they come back in so have to get back up.

Xmas morning I just stay in my bed cause my back was absolutely aching and I was shattered.
They keep popping in to ask when I'm getting up n making noises bout presents.
Get up n go through, OH'S mum asks why I'm not excited, can't even pretend 'cause im so tired and sore the last thing I give a fuck about just now is christmas'. Get a row for being rude, shout at him for fucking starting it when he decided to fuck off to the pub so I had to do all his jobs in stead when I'm 4.5 months pregnant, just off 2 long days and it's his fucking parents coming to visit.

Put soup on to heat up, fucked off back to bed.

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