My sister brought a half drunk bottle of wine to my dinner party

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

She is 28, not a student. She mentioned it was left over from her party the night before, but was "really good". I was speechless, AIBU to think this is rude?

Not to drip feed: she is self employed in a career where work is not always there, so she is careful with money, fair enough. But she makes a huge point of how skint she is every time we meet up (e.g. publicly saying in front of our friends oh i can't afford that restaurant I'll just have a coffee - fine but why the martyrdom, it's just attention seeking - restaurant was a couple of £ per course dearer than pizza express or similar where she would be ok apparently).

She is not skint. She lives (rented) in north London zone 3 naice area. She has savings for rainy day (sensible). She gets by fine.

Please tell me IABU or not because i am SO IRRITATED by her.

The half bottle is a bit odd, rather than rude.

I think she is being rude. Unless she is flat broke she could have spent a fiver on a bottle of vinegar and also brought the half open bottle.

Really? I'm surprised by the responses here as I'm assuming OP means half an already opened and drink bottle. That's shockingly shit, especially to say thanks for being hosted for Xmas dinner. AT 28.

Was it a present for the host?
Doesn't sound like it.
Sounds like she just brought it along and explained immediately that it was open - but it was good.
What's the problem?
Saying your dinner wasn't casual just makes you sound a bit up your own arse, sorry!

I'm taking a half drunk bottle to my boyfriend's later.
Tbf it was half drunk by him!

It cost £15 and whilst that might put us into casual dinner vinegar territory to some, I'm not going to pour £7.50 down the sink.

It's not a present though, so if it was, I take my comments back!

Yes wolver that's exactly what it was.

I only said it wasn't a casual dinner because if I had been having a student house party then I wouldn't have batted an eyelid of course. I'm actually really chilled out about most "social niceties" and couldn't give a damn as long as people mean well.

Problem is she doesn't mean well.

I'd be a bit judgy tbh, don't get me wrong I wouldn't show it but I wouldn't be happy inside. If you're going to bring something, do it properly and bring a full bottle. Do something properly or not at all. Even if it was a casual dinner (which ours is) half a bottle of wine normally does around 2 glasses so it wouldn't be like the whole table could have a glass anyway! If it was expensive wine and she didn't want to waste it - fine then drink it at home like she did the other half!

I would do this whether a family or friend - why on earth would you want to let a good bottle (half bottle) of wine go to waste? Much better to bring that than nothing at all. Understand that it would be polite to bring something else as well, flowers say (though I probably wouldn't do that for a close family member to be honest). But I think YABU.

As you say, I suspect your issue with her lies elsewhere.

Why would it go to waste? It won't explode if you leave it at home and drink it in the next few days. As madein1995 said, it's only going to do 2 glasses anyway

I've taken half drunk bottles of wine to friends parties several times to avoid decent wine going to waste. What's wrong with that?

Loosen up OP

I think it's rude. Bring nothing, rather than a half-drunk bottle of 'really good' white wine. Honestly, if money's that tight, I'd rather someone keep the left-over wine for them to enjoy the next day or whenever, than bring it along as a gift or contribution.

And I'll bet she drank a bloody sight more than half a bottle of wine.

And she was a guest. It isn't obligatory to take anything if you are a guest, though it is polite to take something for the hosts. If my sister did the same, I would want to try the wine, not take umbridge at it being half a bottle!

Well, no, it's not obligatory. It's good manners though.

Most things aren't obligatory. Saying thank you isn't obligatory, it's still rude not to do it

Yanbu. Taking the piss I would say.

I think it is pretty rude tbh and would be irritated by it.

I do this a lot as I get to keep posh left over wine from posh work dos. Prev posters are right - people do enjoy the good stuff & it's not like people are drinking the stuff straight out of the bottle!

Half of a naice bottle is better than a full cheap bottle.

I would never take an opened, half-drunk bottle of wine to a dinner party! However, it's done now - the only way to deal with it is to be gracious, smile and let it go.

Thanks Naice that's also how I feel; I would NEVER do it myself, but of course I let it go - it would be more rude of me to say anything

It's not something I'd do, half a bottle of gin yes but not half a bottle of wine, mainly because I wouldn't open a bottle & not finish it tbh

I think with family, this is exactly the sort of thing you CAN do!

Why so formal?

I think there are more underlying issues with your relationship to your sister.

Oops I did this last night to my DH's exes house with a full bottle too. It would have gone to waste otherwise. Wouldn't have to someone I didn't know well. Definitely would to my sister and she'd have been fine enough with it.

Waistcoat I would have been ok with it too if she didn't have form for being tight AF and a grabby narcissist

I want to hear the sister's side.

I would find half a bottle rather odd, and think that the giver was either skint or tight, but wouldn't say anything. I'm on the fence here op.