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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has shingles...can we visit our nephew who has had no vaccinations?

133 replies

user1477282676 · 25/12/2016 04:06

DH been feeling rotten for about a week now....today he came up in the tell tale spotty looking things across his side, back and some on legs.

We're meant to be going to MIL"s tomorrow for boxing day lunch....but SIL has a 2 year old who is completely unvaccinated. (I know, I know...don't ask!}

Will it be bad for our nephew? What happens? Can we still go or should we cancel?

We've just called MIL to let her know...she's saying "Oh it's fine!" which she would say because of course she wants us to go...but DH told her to tell SIL because it's up to her.

What's the sensible thing?

OP posts:
876TaylorMade · 25/12/2016 04:07

I would say no as shingles are apart of the chicken pox family.

SerialReJoiner · 25/12/2016 04:09

Surely just ask the parents of the child? They will obviously be aware of illness risks.

Original poster
user1477282676 · 25/12/2016 04:12

Serial as I said, we've sent a message via MIL to SIl. I'm just looking for more information. Hmm

OP posts:
Mawddwy · 25/12/2016 04:14

Shingles is only catching if you touch the rash and then they would catch chicken pox. Not ideal.

Graphista · 25/12/2016 04:15

Nephew could potentially catch chicken pox from dh. Agree it should be up to nephews parents.

Chicken pox vaccination is tricky as the belief is this increases the risks for adults getting worse case of chickenpox with higher risk of complications or indeed shingles.

As for no vaccination at all ugh don't get me started!

Also your dh may well not be feeling up to going anyway, shingles can be rotten! Lousy timing all round.

Hope u have a not too bad weekend with all this going on.

Original poster
user1477282676 · 25/12/2016 04:20

Graphisata thank you. I was looking forward to going and if we don't, it will spoil things for MIL as she's been very much excited about it;

We're not the only guests but she wants to see my DD's and DH and I....if it were my own 2 year old, I don't think I'd want a chicken poxy child coming over...so my Shingly DH is no different really.

We will wait and see what she says though.

OP posts:
abbsisspartacus · 25/12/2016 04:25

Don't you have her number yourselves? Mil might not pass the message on?

Original poster
user1477282676 · 25/12/2016 04:27

Hmm. I know it sounds odd but we have a very tricky relationship with SIL. DH has fallen out with her in the past...he won't want to call her and to be frank, I'm afraid of her. Sad

OP posts:
myoriginal3 · 25/12/2016 04:29

I thought shingles didn't pass on as chicken pox? Could be mightily wrong in that thought however!

Dilligufdarling · 25/12/2016 04:30

Webmd advises that if you have shingles, you can only infect other people if they come into contact with the sores, and that wearing long clothing should prevent it spreading.
Chicken pox is airborne, but shingles isn't.

SerialReJoiner · 25/12/2016 04:30

Sorry, missed that bit. My fault for reading MN at stupid o'clock in the morning!!

Original poster
user1477282676 · 25/12/2016 04:49

Dill so he could perhaps consider wearing a dressing over the areas...to make sure?

OP posts:
SquedgieBeckenheim · 25/12/2016 04:59

You can catch chicken pox from shingles, if the non-immune person touches the rash. (Ireland if someone else touches the rash then the non immune person without washing their hands)
Keep the rash covered at all times, and strict hand washing and it'll be OK. As long as your DH feels up to socialising that is.

SpornStar · 25/12/2016 05:17

I've had shingles twice. First time I had been visiting my friend and her premature baby the day before it was diagnosed. I panicked and asked the doctor if I would have put the baby at risk and he said that it is actually quite rare to catch CP from shingles and that to do so would require direct contact with the rash.

Second time I had it, I had my own baby by then and was worried about passing it on to her but she was also fine.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 25/12/2016 05:19

The nephew isbtvtge only person at risk of catching a virus though! Man up, tell the sil cause it's clear the mil won't.

Graphista · 25/12/2016 05:23

Why are you afraid of sil? How bad is she?!

Bubbinsmakesthree · 25/12/2016 05:35

Given that the NHS diesn't routinely vaccinate children against chickenpox, the anti-vax thing is a bit of a red herring in this case as nephew is no more or less at risk than any other child who has had their routine vaccinations and not yet had chickenpox.

Although shingles isn't wildly contagious like CP is, I still think it is only fair to mention it to SIL in advance but it doesn't need to involve bringing up the whole vaccinations issue.

waitingforsomething · 25/12/2016 05:36

Shingles can pass on as chicken pox unfortunately, so I would ask the parents. Although we don't vaccinate against chicken pox in the UK anyway so him not having had vaccinations won't make a difference in this case.

I had shingles (in my mouth and throat though) last Christmas and it was one of the most painful and awful experiences I ever had, I couldn't go anywhere- Your DH must be feeling rotten does he even want to go?

seven201 · 25/12/2016 05:42

Text the sil to say that mil said it's ok but you wanted to check with her directly.

MissWimpyDimple · 25/12/2016 05:47

I would go. No one is routinely vaccinated against CP in this country so it makes no actual difference in this case.

As long as he covers up and is careful not to scratch etc.

junebirthdaygirl · 25/12/2016 06:28

Slightly different issue. Has he seen a doctor? The earlier he starts treatment the better as it can turn into a very painful thing if left.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 25/12/2016 06:36

Regardless of your nephew's vaccination status, this is the varicella rosta virus and it is contagious. Your DH should not expose anyone to it without their full knowledge. If it were a child with chickenpox the answer would be no! Either tell your SIL, do not assume your MIL will tell her, or delay the visit until he is no longer contagious.

Tissunnyupnorth · 25/12/2016 06:42

You can catch CP from shingles, but actually it's quite rare. As others have said, as long as your DH covers his rash & is careful with hand washing then nephew will be fine.

As a shingles sufferer, a thought might be to go on your own with DD's, as I felt absolutely rotten when I had it!

Gatekeeper · 25/12/2016 06:52

I didn't have chicken pox as a child but when my dad has shingles I caught the virus and had CP at the grand old age of 24 so it is possible. I was really poorly with it as well

PossumInAPearTree · 25/12/2016 06:55

Yes you can. I'm a midwife and occy health said I could work as long as rash was covered and I didn't go poking my rash and then touching people.