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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has shingles...can we visit our nephew who has had no vaccinations?

133 replies

user1477282676 · 25/12/2016 04:06

DH been feeling rotten for about a week now....today he came up in the tell tale spotty looking things across his side, back and some on legs.

We're meant to be going to MIL"s tomorrow for boxing day lunch....but SIL has a 2 year old who is completely unvaccinated. (I know, I know...don't ask!}

Will it be bad for our nephew? What happens? Can we still go or should we cancel?

We've just called MIL to let her know...she's saying "Oh it's fine!" which she would say because of course she wants us to go...but DH told her to tell SIL because it's up to her.

What's the sensible thing?

OP posts:
876TaylorMade · 25/12/2016 09:59

Yes they vaccinate against chicken pox in Australia.

I have been offered when I deliver.

endofthelinefinally · 25/12/2016 09:59

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2585.aspx?CategoryID=54

OP - I think you would be better off reading this link. The information is accurate.

EastMidsGPs · 25/12/2016 10:28

I would encourage him to Stay home, really rest and take things easy.
As someone who has had Shingles I found the absolute exhaustion worse than the pain.

Anatidae · 25/12/2016 10:35

Stay home. He's unwell, you aren't 100% sure what he has. Could be chickenpox, could be something like hand foot and mouth. Either way, stay put and rest.

DailyFail1 · 25/12/2016 10:46

A totally unvaccinated child might get sicker with chicken pox though. I would wait until dh is no longer infectious.

lottieandmia · 25/12/2016 10:48

An adult with shingles can definitely give chicken pox to a child so if he hasn't had it then stay away.

Graphista · 25/12/2016 10:56

Even more inclined to say stay away if you're not sure what he has, especially as the child not vaccinated. Could be measles, rubella etc which can all be far nastier for an unvaccinated child than a vaccinated one. Also yes the other adults won't be amused if he infects them (even if they say its fine to go).

Dreamstosell · 25/12/2016 11:01

According to NHS website you can only catch chicken pox through direct contact with the fluid in the shingles spots. They only recommend staying off school or work if the spots are weepy and can't be covered. So no problem so long as he keeps all covered.

NHS

I remember years ago, when I worked as a nurse, having a patient on the ward who had shingles. He was in an open ward and not considered an infection risk to other patients.

SerialReJoiner · 25/12/2016 12:33

A totally unvaccinated child might get sicker with chicken pox though.

What basis is this assumption being made?

JamesStPatrick · 25/12/2016 12:48

I'd imagine your SIL will relish the opportunity to give her DC and illness in order to strengthen their "natural immunity". Anti vaxxers make my blood boil. You should not have to stay away. Your SIL made the choice not to vaccinate so it's up to her to make the choice to stay away herself. I bet she won't. You should not have to change your plans based on her questionable choices.

GreatFuckability · 25/12/2016 13:06

a totally unvaccinated child might get sicker with chicken pox
Not how it works...

GreatFuckability · 25/12/2016 13:07

As the parent of unvaccinated children, id be fine with your dh coming over.

Mindtrope · 25/12/2016 13:22

. Anti vaxxers make my blood boil

Neither of my kids had the MMR until 14 years old. My DD didn't have the diptheria innoculation as a child.biol"

Do I make your " blood boil"

Original poster
user1477282676 · 25/12/2016 14:01

Why did you wait till they were 14 Mind?

OP posts:
Mindtrope · 25/12/2016 14:06

user my oldest child suffered vaccine damage.

As a result we were advised by our GP and specialist ( NHS) not to give any further vaccines to my son and subsequent child while they were babies.

I do value the benefit of vaccines, which is why my teenage children are now fully vaccinated, but to assume it is without risk is naiive.

MigGril · 25/12/2016 14:22

DD had shingles when she was 7, after seeing the doctor who gave antivirals. They said cover the rash and send her to school.

She was certainly bright enough, I only took her to the doctors as she'd been complaing it hurt so much, didn't expect she would have shingles so young.

I believe some parents complained, but I was following sound medical advice. If he more concerned your DH had chicken pox which can be very unpleasant in adults the sooner he starts medical treatment the better, I'd get him to the doctors and get him checked out.

Booboostwo · 25/12/2016 14:23

Mindtrope your initial post was misleading on a topic that has, as you sadly know first hand, very serious repercussions. There is a huge difference between withholding/delaying vaccinations because of valid medical reasons and withholding/delaying vaccinations because of stupid, misinformed, personal reasons. The vaccination of almost the entire population is so important partly because a very small minority of people who cannot be vaccinated for medical reasons rely on us to protect them.

I hope your DH is feeling better OP, I'd leave him at home and go with the DCs.

CoteDAzur · 25/12/2016 14:48

"huge difference between withholding/delaying vaccinations because of valid medical reasons and withholding/delaying vaccinations because of stupid, misinformed, personal reasons."

Really? What exactly is the difference between Mind's children and yours or mine? We don't know, neither does she or the doctors.

The "valid medical reasons" you speak of are vague guesses re genetic susceptibility after a sibling has been permanently damaged.

Until the medical establishment can tell apart the children at risk of vaccine damage from those who are not, it is not stupid or misinformed to withhold especially the unnecessary/inessential vaccines such as rubella and chicken pox.

DailyFail1 · 25/12/2016 16:42

Mindtrope- that used to happen a lot in the local Indian community due to ignorance until these unvaccinated kids started affecting pregnancies with measles/rubella. How would you live with yourself if your actions terminated a pregnancy like that?

CoteDAzur · 25/12/2016 16:58

I would feel nothing at all. It is ethically indefensible to ask my babies to take a risk for the sake of someone else's baby, when it is not in their best interests. Especially when their own mother hasn't bothered to protect him by making sure she is immune before getting pregnant.

fiorentina · 25/12/2016 17:07

I've had shingles and it's infectious via the liquid from the spots (or in my case hideous forehead 'growth'). My DS didn't get chicken pox from me. Depends if the spots are covered.

Shingles and chicken pox can be very nasty in some cases and seem very misunderstood generally though so others may not want you there.

DailyFail1 · 25/12/2016 17:24

Cote- u are missing the point. Your 'babies' become the mamas who 'haven't bothered' to protect their babies.

CoteDAzur · 25/12/2016 18:02

"Your 'babies' become the mamas who 'haven't bothered' to protect their babies."

No they don't. DD's rubella immunity will be tested around age 18 and she will have the rubella vaccine at that point if found not to be immune. DS isn't likely to get pregnant so will never have it.

FYI, it's babies and not "babies", unless you doubt the babyhood of 12-month-olds. That is when rubella is offered around here as part of MMR - a time in the life of a baby when rubella immunity is of no conceivable use to her.

CoteDAzur · 25/12/2016 18:02

So as you can see, you are the one missing the point.

Graphista · 25/12/2016 18:32

Cote will your son have no contact with pregnant women then?

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