CMS Help, need advice asap

[WynterBlossom]

Sounds weird but need to know.

When I contact CMS next year to claim money for my son, will they pass info on about me & our son?? I.E what I chose to call him??

So for example if they called him would they say "Hello, we are calling from CMS in regards to a claim for child maintenance your ex partner wynterblossom is claiming for your son Rupert Smith (made up name).

Have to ask on here as I'm sure a lot of women on here may have made a claim after giving birth without contact with the child's father.

I think if u can manage without the cms money I should. You are going to open a whole can of worms especially as you seem hell bent on him not seeing the baby.
A paternity test will mean he is the father and then I'm guessing if he wants to he will go to court as he will have the DNA results to prove he's the father.
People are right . U won't get this all your own way and maybe 200 pounds a month won't be worth the sacrifice xx

What happens if he gets a paternity test and it (obviously) shows he's the father? Doesn't he automatically get added to the birth certificate and therefore has parental rights?

Bear in mind that he can't put himself on the birth certificate unless you take him with you at the registration or he takes it to court.

This is just some food for thought for you.

I won't get this my own way, I'm not putting myself first.....I am thinking solely of my child, what his needs are.

If he does a paternity test & then takes me to court, he can get parental responsibility but I would say he won't bother, not if it costs money which doesn't directly benefit him.

In my experience he'll get bored and fuck off quite quickly. Get the money off him. Even if it's £100 a month - they take it from his net income so before tax and ni and certainly do not take his bills into consideration - although that may be part of the calculation process -
Would £22,000 plus compounded interest be useful to your son, I would say it would.

I don't want to be short on money & have to sacrifice things my sons needs all because "I shouldn't claim money from his dad", why should my son miss out??

I won't claim right away, I will probably wait until Jan of 2018 when I'm in a better place mentally to deal with it all.

=OP.

No one on here knows if there is a real risk or sour grapes... Only you really know that.

I didn't claim off my Ex till he decided to take me to court for access ( couldn't actually be bothered to attend hearing though..) I did apply to the CSA once he took me to mediation..As many say maintenance and access are not connected however for some asking for payment means they have a right to access.

Only you can know the real risk.. My Ex changed his own name ??? I was informed on his yearly review (CSA) of his new name..

All I would say is if you have any evidence of abuse, texts, reports then keep them incase it goes to school.

Assuming this is a new girlfriend you have no idea if it will last who will be next, one who encourages her to see Dc.

They don't back date it so claim straight away.

Contrary to many I found the CMS really easy to deal with, literally it's one phone call and they do the rest, there's no need for you to lose st least £1200 waiting to be in a good place because it shouldn't be any hassle at all for you

I guess I just don't feel I can mentally deal with him should he turn up at my house or take me to court.

I know I shouldn't miss out on money for my son but I can afford everything on maternity, realistically I won't need the money until I finish mat & not go back to work, however I am looking into a college course to attend to help me with getting a better job.

I am prepared to only be able to claim the money from the far I make the claim so understand I would miss the whole year before, if I manage to get into a much better paid job, I may not ever need to claim any money from him.

It's not about need though it's about your son. My eldest had her own bedroom and went to private school with the CMS money, she would have survived without either but why should she when his other kids enjoyed a very nice lifestyle?

Oh I agree however family will more than help financially and emotionally. I live with family who are more than willing to help out as much as I need.

I can't imagine the £200 he gives me would send our son to private school though! Lol.

it'll certainly pay for driving lessons and a new car though won't it and it's the principle..... You've got to weigh up if it's worth it in the end.

Oh yeah, that sort of money over time would definitely pay for a car and driving lessons for our son.

And probably a lot more over time, however I think mentally, it's easier to wait at least a year to claim