To be disappointed in my DS' lack of enthusiasm for Christmas

[Chipscheesentomatosauce]

Went in to town today while DS(12) was out with ex and got some bits to make him up a Christmas Eve box - pyjamas, popcorn, chocolates, hot chocolate and Xmas DVD.

He comes home from ex's and I let him have 30 mins on his Xbox, then say "finish that game, no more X box tonight. It's bath time and then we can watch a Xmas film". Cue eye roll and "why??".

I then ran his bath and before he was about to in, gave him his Christmas Eve box. Totally underwhelmed. Just pulled it all out, said "thanks", and stuffed it all back in, got up and went for his bath. Not such much as a hug.

It's only him and I in the house and although we'll be with family tomorrow, there's just no buzz in our house about Xmas. I can see tomorrow morning just being boring, and I'm I won't be surprised if he mentions the one thing in his list I forgot to get (just a wee thing, but it won't be the first time that's what he picks up on)/ he wasn't arsed about going to the panto with me because he went with the school. He didn't care about helping pick a present for his dad.

Is anyone else's kid like this? I know I'm being silly really, and I think it's because I feel Christmas is boring for him because it's just him and I, but I feel like I try and do the usual little things other people do and it's just doesn't mean anything.

To be honest, he's never really been one for getting really excited about anything, unless it's something with his friends. But o feel like he's becoming quite selfish just now - complaining every time we have to do something that doesn't suit him, even just popping to the supermarket last week was "why couldn't you go while I was at ....?" I couldn't go then because I was picking up his Xmas presents!

I guess it's maybe just him, or the teenager coming through, and it could be much worse. I just needed a moan after the box

I went in and found him watching the Polar Express, so we watched that instead and ate our munchies, etc. With the odd Instagram scroll and a you tube vid shown to me, for good measure. I asked what he'd like to do next Xmas Eve and eye got a raised eyebrow and "you're asking me about next Xmas eve?" He was a taiko ay the cinema with his dad earlier and with friends yesterday. Now he's back on X box for half an hour.

And there's no need to cringe for him. Hes shown me an Instagram of his friends new Xmas pyjamas and spoken on FaceTime to another who was about to watch a movie with his family .

He's not avoiding baths and I've explained why I ran it on this occasion. My shower broke last month and I decided it's not a priority until next month. (As it was pointed I out baths are a shock to some)

My 12 year old is sullen too, its hormones. Too cool for Christmas these days!

Soozey please don't cringe for him
My DS12 likes nothing more than new pjs. Also quite loves to watch Elf

It's perhaps time for him to run his own baths though OP.

Did you read the part where i said I ran it "on this occasion"?? He is capable of running a bath, and he does. I see no problem with me doing it on the odd occasion, for whatever reason!

I make a Christmas box for a 12 and 9 year old. I mean 'the elves' do.
Rude. Pick your battles with this one. Hormones can make anyone behave like an arse.

My boy girl twins turn 12 in two weeks and are fully in the Christmas spirit. They were following norad Santa thing with their younger cousin and they insisted on watching going on a bear hunt! We have played games and made mince pies. We still have to leave a mince pie and carrot out even though no one in the house believes! There has also been adolescent squabbling, facetime and xbox. They have decorated place mats to show where their presents should be and they are very excited. Perhaps if you had relatives with other kids staying or friends over it might whip up more excitement. It's lovely that you did end up watching together. I think your box sounded lovely and thoughtful.

I'm glad he turned it round and you have had a good time.

Sounds normal. Between the ages of 12 -17 I displayed very very little emotion regardless of happy, sad, angry etc...I just couldn't do it. Didn't mean I didn't feel it though so don't let it get you down. Your efforts may not have got much of a reaction but that doesn't mean they weren't appreciated and enjoyed.

I haven't rtt, but I have got four teens and my house always seems to be full of them and their friends.

I think that, once they start hitting the 'bored teenager' phase it is really best to accept it and start asking for their input when making plans.

He's not little anymore, so some of your lovely cherished traditions will now be viewed as lame I'm afraid.

FWIW mine always enjoyed the cinema or ice skating on xmas eve, and activities at home such as board games, baking (always do a gingerbread house) or box sets of whatever they're into.

I think you've got it harder because your ds doesn't have siblings, and you can't invite any of his friends because they're all busy with their own families. In your shoes I think I would negotiate some time away from the x box doing something of his choice, or join him on it.

FWIW it doesn't last long, he'll come out the other side I promise

Also, nothing wrong with running his bath. DS is 19 and I still enjoy running his bath sometimes. Sometimes he runs mine if I'm shattered after work. Families do nice things for each other.

My eldest is 13, and is far better than last year (think the magic just evaporated when he went to secondary, and didn't get to do all the extra Christmas fun stuff at school).

This year, he's grown up, pretty much gone through puberty, but is far more into it. We've done stockings, pyjamas etc, but also had a very grown up Christmas Eve supper with a neighbour and chatted about politics etc, and he's bought his own presents for family which he's hugely excited about. He also went to the Panto with a school friend, ON THEIR OWN, which was something new for him.

I'm quite excited about the whole teenage thing.

He asked me to close his door when I tucked him in, which he doesn't usually. Which makes me think maybe those of you who said its a weird time are right, as in he's properly realised Christmas isn't really magic, but doesn't want to admit it. (Both our doors are on the corner and perhaps he doesn't want to risk seeing me come out my room with his presents)

Ah well, it was it is. Thanks for the replies and empathy. I hope you all have a great day tomorrow, whatever that means to you X

Definitely too old for 'childish' stuff (except he's not) and too young to embrace the fun of it confidently. Hence being happy to watch Polar Express but not actually tell you that

My friend 'moaned' to my 8yo that her son didn't want to watch Bear Hunt. My 8yo sounded shocked and said "but she's 8! She can't watch that"