To be disappointed in my DS' lack of enthusiasm for Christmas

[Chipscheesentomatosauce]

Went in to town today while DS(12) was out with ex and got some bits to make him up a Christmas Eve box - pyjamas, popcorn, chocolates, hot chocolate and Xmas DVD.

He comes home from ex's and I let him have 30 mins on his Xbox, then say "finish that game, no more X box tonight. It's bath time and then we can watch a Xmas film". Cue eye roll and "why??".

I then ran his bath and before he was about to in, gave him his Christmas Eve box. Totally underwhelmed. Just pulled it all out, said "thanks", and stuffed it all back in, got up and went for his bath. Not such much as a hug.

It's only him and I in the house and although we'll be with family tomorrow, there's just no buzz in our house about Xmas. I can see tomorrow morning just being boring, and I'm I won't be surprised if he mentions the one thing in his list I forgot to get (just a wee thing, but it won't be the first time that's what he picks up on)/ he wasn't arsed about going to the panto with me because he went with the school. He didn't care about helping pick a present for his dad.

Is anyone else's kid like this? I know I'm being silly really, and I think it's because I feel Christmas is boring for him because it's just him and I, but I feel like I try and do the usual little things other people do and it's just doesn't mean anything.

To be honest, he's never really been one for getting really excited about anything, unless it's something with his friends. But o feel like he's becoming quite selfish just now - complaining every time we have to do something that doesn't suit him, even just popping to the supermarket last week was "why couldn't you go while I was at ....?" I couldn't go then because I was picking up his Xmas presents!

I guess it's maybe just him, or the teenager coming through, and it could be much worse. I just needed a moan after the box

He is 12, cut him some slack. your lucky you got a thanks.I would have thought you would have just had the eye roll.

I feel for you! My 9 year old boy is like this already. He gets terribly moody if he has to leave the Xbox and if I want to go out shopping he really sulks. He's too young to leave on his own so I end up taking him with me then not concentrating on what I need as I'm conscious that he's huffing. Luckily, he has a twin sister who is willing to do as she's told 😂😂😂

its his age its perfectly normal dont worry enjoy your day and cut your ds some slack . It isnt easy going through these years of hormonal roller coaster bless him

It's just is age OP, I know it's horrible, I have a teenager too and sometimes I do morn the sweet little boy he was, and unfortunately the start of puberty is particularly awful. But you will both get through it and there feally is still a sweet little boy lurking somewhere deep down there honest, some days he's just harder to find than others.
Also agree with everything Blobby says.
Merry Christmas OP

Remember too that he is on the verge of becoming a teenager. Good luck! Xxx

As Queen says, Christmas is profoundly boring unless you're a small child

Mine are adults and nearly 15.All very subdued and non-Christmassy here. For the first time they have said to leave their stockings outside their rooms so I don't wake them up and do they have to be up before 10am? It's pretty sad really,after all the work I've done, but the magic has long gone.

DS is 15 and is totally over Christmas - doesn't like films, music, food, nothing. Oddly enough, he's still enthusiastic about the presents though!

Yep. Mine is only interested in the presents. New pyjamas would get me an eye roll.

I think the other thing is that at this age there's a strange wobble between wanting to stay a child and not wanting to. They feel nostalgic for the excitement of Christmases gone by but not in a pensive and twee 'aww, sentimental' way but a way that actually feels like a sort of mourning. Things like Christmas Eve boxes and watching a movie just reminds them their childhood is gone and they aren't always ready for that.

I tend to think there is nothing worse than a gritted teeth 'we will all enjoy this!' But I do think it's too much for children. Mine have been awful all day. My almost ten year old was fighting with my almost three year old over a paper bag and when I took it off them and threw it away, the two year old had a tantrum. Not just any tantrum but one suited to finding out your entire family have been squashed by a falling sleigh and destroyed every toy you own, too.

It's because for weeks now school, nursery, TV, YouTube, everybody, have been encouraging I-Want, I-Want, they have had sugary messages about children/people,alone, as if it's some kind of awful disease, stuffed full of sugary and fattening food, inundated with images from the artic when actually what it is here is warm and wet meaning outdoor play (which is what they need!) is hard.

I'm deliberately keeping things low key tomorrow as I cannot cope with another day of the foul feral odious beasts I spawned!

He's 12, not a baby anymore - you've got to let him grow up

Cherrycrumblecustard hear hear!

I think it's hard for them once they know there is no Santa

I know how you feel mine are 15, 14, 12 and 10 and its only the 10 year old who is remotely interested in anything to do with christmas.

I agree, they are in between. Last year was very tricky Santa-wise for us, they knew but clearly felt a bit uncomfortable and when I pretended I got eye-rolls. They've both got on board with the pretence this year (they want to believe and so do I) still so we are happily watching Norad Tracks Santa again and the mince pies and carrots are on the hearth.

I also agree that the weeks of build-up are too much, I feel flat by the big day after weeks and weeks of preparation so not surprised if the same happens to them.

My teens are like this. Depressing as it is don't try to force fun on anyone it doesn't work like that

When mine got to that age I used to ask if they wanted a few friends over Xmas eve for a few hours, they played games drank pop and ate popcorn. We enjoyed listening to them having fun with their friends and they were gone by 10 and my kids got to enjoy Xmas eve as I soon realised it wasn't all about me and dad anymore!

It's a funny age.

The excitement will return.

That is a tricky age and he probably felt you were babying him a bit, which children of 12 tend to consider quite uncool.

Relax about it. With a couple of years more maturity he may again become more receptive to your ideas, but for now he is barely lukewarm.

For the record, I think what you were trying to achieve was lovely and thoughtful. Not sure I would have been quite so receptive when I was his age though.

Xmas DVD and pyjamas for a 12 year old?! I'm cringeing for him!

Sorry but he is 12 and you are treating him like he is 6. I know it is hard but you have to try to find things to do that he can engage with.

Don't be rotten. I think OP sounds lovely and very Mumsy which he will appreciate when he's 18!

This is the first year my 12 year old hasn't been as excited. They're in transition.

OP it sounds like you haven't quite moved on with your DS into his next phase of life....most 12 year olds for instance, they run their own baths and sort that out themselves.

If he's a bit bath avoiding, then all it should be is a reminder from you "Maybe you need to run a bath or have a shower now?"

There's nothing wrong with giving him a Christmas Eve box though....mine still has one.

They're changing and it's hard for them. Just go with the flow....let him choose a bit longer on the X box sometimes. I don't see why he had to get off considering its Christmas.

My DS is 12, he is playing on the Xbox, I am watching Alan Bennett. He is excited about presents, but in general is super moody. My DD is with her Dad tonight so it's just us 2. I will probably go to bed before him in fact. It feels a bit odd, but i can't really force him can I ?

Ps, he also hates pyjama now and will only wear pants!