To postpone Christmas day and tell my ex to fuck off?

[brooklynbaby]

Posted another thread last night about having norovirus and pretty much being glued to the bathroom floor. I feel absolutely terrible.

Dd's dad was out drinking last night and I asked him to come and look after her today as there's no way I could. He came and took her to nursery and picked her up at 1 - all fine. He's been in a mood with me all day because he's actually had to be a dad for a few hours and is in a mood because I said I can't cook christmas dinner on Sunday - we were supposed to be having a nice day for dd's sake. He's pissed off that I can't pick up the turkey that I ordered because how on earth can I go out in public when I'm contagious and needing the toilet every 5 mins?

He's now leaving and saying that I'm putting on crocodile tears and that I need to man up. What the actual fuck.

AIBU to tell him he's not welcome here on Sunday? I don't want him anywhere near us.

He says he doesn't have to look after dd if he doesn't want to and asked why he should do me any favours.

I'm gobsmacked.

Take her on Christmas Day?

For how long-until he couldn't be bothered any more??

Jeez, he sounds really nasty.

Hope that you are feeling better soon & manage to have a Christmas Day at some point.

Hope you find someone to help you collect the food that ypu need.

He's a nasty piece of shit. I hope he gets what I have but a million times worse.

I feel guilty to dd for giving her such a prick for a dad.

If he wants someone with a stomach bug to cook his dinner for him he's an idiot and he deserves to catch whatever you've got.

Hope you feel better soon.

Write it down - all of it - get yourself a diary and keep records

Then move - far away - fast

So now I'm apparently a 'fucking reprobate'

Thank god for mumsnet. I would be completely alone otherwise.

Don't engage with him. He's not worth it. He won't change. Lock your door and block his number.

Can anyone else pick up the turkey for you so you have it?

Then just tell him he's not welcome. Do christmas for you and DD if you feel like it.

Ha! He clearly has no idea what "reprobate" even means.

He's a total arsehole. Ignore all abusive communication from him. If you do let him come over do not get him a single thing. Take care of yourself.

SDT posted exactly what I was going to say.

Get well soon OP.

To be honest I'd be dribbling in an ice cube tray now, freezing it and dropping in a drink for him asap.

Gotta love a man who says he doesn't have to look after his daughter accusing the mother of being unprincipled.

Yes, pass on your bug and do not make him anything for Christmas except a sign saying, "Turd."

This is all you need to say to your rightly named 'Ex'

You poor old thing, feel better soon. Forget about your idiotic ex, and just get yourself well, well enough to have a nice Christmas day with your child. Christmas doesn't have to be about huge turkey dinners and massive family get togethers. Make yourselves something tasty to eat but easy to digest, open some presents, play some daft games, watch a bit of rubbish telly, and have a fabulous day. Tell your ex to jog on.

Think about what you want and what works for you. Subsequently, put yourself in 'mum-of-toddler' mode and spell it out to him. When he replies with a tantrum repeat your boundaries as nauseum.

I'm worried what revenge he will take though if I don't let him in on Christmas day.

tell him to get lost and that you will call Police the first sign of any harassment.
Keep your door locked and stick to your word.

Definitely tell him to fuck off and then have a Christmas dinner with you and your dad when you're feeling up to it.

I think you should make his tea tonight...

It would be sad if he was ill on Christmas Day though wouldn't it?

What revenge? Tell him to apply for contact through the courts and that he won't have access until then. Then lock your doors and if he comes banging call 101.

You hold more cards here than he does. He is bluffing. I'd bet he couldn't be arsed to spend money going through court.

If you have anyone who could pick up the turkey and a few bits then ask them and hunker down till it's over.

Really block his number. You don't need his abuse in your ears.

Have you got friends or family you could invite/that you could go to? You'd have a lovely day on your own but I'm concerned by the tone of his messages that he might try to bully you by showing up on the day. Has he ever been violent?

OP, he is preying on you being scared of him, stand up to him and keep telling him he isn't invited, is your ex and you'll contact Police.
Please don't let him ruin your dd Christmas, she is worth better than this.

OP

I understand your fear but there is only one way to deal with this type of person and I speak from many years of bitter experience:

Be fair but firm, and document everything - and I mean EVERYTHING.

Please find a way to give him the norovirus. Save some germs for him and get them into him! And then tell him to man up when (and he will) complains.