To wonder if there are any careers you discourage your kids from doing?

[malificent7]

Dd told my dad and i that she wanted to work in Harrods when she grows up... she is 8!

My dad told her she shouldnt work in a shop. She also wants to be a model, pop star, vet... the usual.
My parents basically wanted us to be doctors and duscouraged anytjing else.
I rebelled and did teaching am now a TA.

Aibu to ask how much you want to influence your kids career decisions.

Also aibu to think there is nowt wrong with working in Harrods!

-I cannot believe that someone has posted that their friend, a therapist hates her job.
Do you realise that some of us reading attend therapy?

I'm confused-what's wrong with someone posting that their therapist friend hates their job?

Porn/sex worker, retail.

rollonthesummer - the fact that they are on meth is far from ideal.... Although a know GP's and teachers who like the odd smoke, meth is probably a step too far in coping mechanism of choice

Oh-it's the fact they are on meth rather than the fact they don't like their job that someone is objecting to?

I don't know if I will actively discourage anything. I will be very honest in highlighting the cons though.

Both mine that are old enough to have an opinion (one 14 so she's very serious and already at specialist school, the other 9 so less so) want to be dancers or musical theatre actresses. Part of me is thrilled as I would have loved to do that and tried briefly to get into it - did a couple of jobs but wasn't really good enough then got pregnant so ended up teaching the arts instead. However, I also worry hugely about the instability, frustration and competition. I suspect that they will not be exceptional enough to make it properly and will spend years doing minimum wage temp jobs waiting for occasional opportunities to crop up, half of which will be paid in 'CV experience' rather than actual money! But I'm not going to say that, it's their life and such an opinion would crush them (plus who knows, I might be wrong!) I do have some friends who are very happy in that kind of lifestyle - it suits them and they do jobs like box office/FoH in theatres in between jobs. I suppose it's freeing and appealing in a 'bohemian' kind of way - but tough financially and emotionally.

There's many other things I'd prefer them not to choose - armed forces, jobs that exploit others, 'clock watching' jobs that don't use their interests/skills etc - but I wouldn't actively discourage something they'd showed enthusiasm for, I don't think.

I think all she will take from that is that her thoughts and decisions are not her own. She is 8. The chances are she will change her mind 50 times between now and actually going for a job. I don't think anyone should ever discourage a child from having aspirations, regardless of what they are.

I would discourage shop work, waitressing, retail, factories etc - as I know how soul destroying they can be from experience.

Don't really get why so many want to discourage teaching, I think it's an ideal career. It's allowed me to keep working full time as a single parent of 3 (not sure how many other jobs could accommodate that!), I personally feel that it's well paid and the holidays are amazing. Plus I get to spend all day working with kids (instead of having to grow up and be an adult ) delivering a subject I'm passionate about.

Would you prefer your child to have a job they love with crap pay, or a job they hate with fabulous pay?

Would prefer job they love with fab pay. Any parent worth their salt would prefer that

I would discourage my DCs from following the career route that I took, as a chef. At first I loved it but as most chefs know, you work hard & you play hard. That is the main cause of alcohol & drug addiction within the trade.
It took away my love of cooking for a long time.

daily - of course. But if you had to choose?

Another one surprised about teaching. I am one and have moved countries several times and always found a job. Spent loads of time with my dcs through holidays and when they were really small was able to work very flexibly. I also still love my job almost 30 years (gasp) later, despite only drifting into it.

When DD was fixed on drama school we gave her our full support and agreed to fund it and support her with the proviso that she had to do teacher training or nursing first so there was always relatively decent bank/agency work to fall back on. Half way through lower 6th she changed her mind.

To answer the question jobs you love for low pay or jobs you hate for high pay, I don't think anyone has made good money over the long term doing jobs they hate. Doing something you hate chips away at your resillience.

I want my dc to lead happy, fulfilled lives and I think that involves working.

The thousands of people leaving teaching in their droves suggest that all is not well in teaching. It's not the money and it's not ever really the workload-I've always been happy to work hard, but it's the micromanagement of this workload that I think is making people leave.

Having management dictate that I have to plan in x way or mark in x way that takes absolutely hours and doesn't benefit me or the children is mad. If I could work in a way that helped me and spent my time planning effective, good lessons and then marking them with such things as ticks and stickers (that 5 year olds understand!) rather than endless highlighting in green and pink, taking photos and annotating any practical work they have done, writing steps to success that they can't read, I probably wouldn't be leaving. I will happily work all evening, but not to do these things. I taught for 10 odd years before this pointless crap came in and know it's unnecessary. The children I taught before are happy, well-rounded adults now with good A levels and degrees so things were not awful! Education doesn't have to be this way.

As it is, they can't replace me (despite my job being advertised twice) and my class will be covered by teaching assistants. Or 'highly qualified staff' as my head has sold it to the parents.

None of my own children want to teach and I wouldn't encourage them to train.

Why did these methods come in?

I don't know, to be honest.

There seemed to be a time about 6/7 or so years ago (when I was 10/11 years in) when the middle management seemed to swell in numbers in my primary (I don't know too much about secondaries other than the ones my own children are in). We had a head, two deputies, 4 assistant heads, 4 phase leaders and three sencos. All of them seemed to be given areas of responsibility to oversee and instead of doing much teaching themselves, they seemed to spend all of their time watching to see that we were ticking their boxes, e.g. One was in charge of marking and assessment as would do fortnightly book trawls to see you were doing enough pink and green highlighting, one in charge of pupil premium, one would take in the planning, another would be doing learning walks to check your displays had all been regularly changed etc It was as if they were all finding reasons to justify their salary and status of being allowed 'out of the classroom'!

It made us all think (as teaching assistants were being got rid of left right and centre due to lack of money) that if those ex-teachers went back in class and taught, we'd have enough money to keep the TAs.

I don't know that Ofsted ever demanded any of this paperwork but it has crept in and is such a waste of time.

My son's school-a high achieving grammar in a fab area cannot recruit maths/science teachers at all-they have even been emailing parents explaining the situation and asking if any of us know anyone that could fill the posts!

I just can't see it getting better. The government either deny there's a problem or throw money at the wrong thing-e.g. Troops to teaching, private school teachers coming to help us, super teachers being parachuted in to deprived areas, fast tracking etc etc They just need to take away the very time-consuming pointless paperwork and monitoring and teachers wouldn't be leaving in droves. It's as if the government actually want to engineer a massive crisis so they can get rid of teachers altogether!!

I will discourage retail and teaching based on my own experience. Particularly primary teaching.

Working with horses.
all fun and games but most places are run by a sma business that struggle to pay wages or pay you well below what you should get.
expected to work ridiculous hours, no benefits, no pension scheme. Can't save for a house deposit or run your own place due to lack of money and job security.

The industry is filled with people who 'knows best' always has opinions. Looks down their noses at people who are less experienced, learning about horses. People who are learning get made to feel inadequate and stupid.
Being with horses is wonderful. If you have fun and do your own thing but don't encourage your children to make a career out of it.
also if you want to be really successful you need to have lots and lots of money! No matter how good you are.

It's pretty scary to think that once respected jobs like teaching, nursing, police, firefighters are now so unattractive. We rely heavily on these people yet they are generally so overworked, underpaid and get little respect for the jobs they do that many will never consider these as a career. There will soon be a monumental crisis in our public services.

I wish I hadn't chosen teaching. Was well qualified, wanted a respectful profession that I'd enjoy etc. I'm not going back to it and we've suffered financially for that.

Our children are 20 and 22 and we never told them they couldn't do any job.

DS1 was 7 when he said he wanted to be a soldier. It wasn't a complete surprise as DH is in the RAF. He was very serious about it all through secondary school. As he's very bright his teachers were very anti the army so he started to toy with the idea of teaching. He applied and got into uni to do History and Politics.

The night before his A level results came out he said he was deferring uni and applying to the army. It was what he had wanted all along and had only applied to uni and looked into it to please other people.

He got into the army at 19.5. He's a brilliant soldier, he's happy, confident and out going. He's found the missing piece to his puzzle. He's learnt a trade, is well respected and is absolutely flying in his career. We support him wholeheartedly and are always there for him. Sometimes I don't sleep through worry, but if something did happen, and I'd not supported and been there for him I'd never, ever forgive myself.

Next year he's looking into a degree, which the army will pay for, and he's looking into teaching when he comes out of the army.

DS2 always said he wanted to be a nurse and he's a second year student nurse. Again, we supported and encouraged him.

NO TEACHING !

Having come from a country where there's no ofsted, no monitoring and your child can literally spend year 3 colouring in worksheets, I'd say there's definitely a balance to be found. Everything I learnt I learnt at primary school personally. Didn't really progress beyond that stage until somehow arrived at uni. We don't want a return to those days

I would have loved DS to get a trade like electician or plumber. He did work with a plumber as a Saturday job, it didn't work out well! He speaks several languages and has recently become a MFL teacher.
I really didn't mind what he went for as long as it was right for him. I wouldn't have been keen on anything like banking or trading but that's the socialist in me