Nc'd for this one and feel free to flame away if I deserve it.
My dh and I are relatively well off. This is due in part to us both having reasonably well paid jobs, but mostly due to dh inheriting a large amount from relatives. Because of this we have a very low mortgage and buy ourselves (probably too much) stuff that we enjoy but don't really need.
Recently I agreed that my dh could spend a not inconsiderable amount on a new car, and we would remortgage to cover this cost plus having a new garage built (since our old one was pretty much falling down). It was all sorted out, but we discovered we needing a bridging loan for a couple of weeks to cover the garage being built. We were fully prepared to do this through the bank, but I spoke about it to my mum and she said she had the funds and was willing to loan it to us.
Anyway, everything goes fine to begin with. Work starts on the building, the car is purchased and all the money comes through so I tell my mum to give me her bank details so I can pay her back. She doesn't do this even after a couple of requests, and the next time I speak to her she tells me she doesn't need it and to keep it for a bit incase we need it for anything else.
Then the builder tells us our house is subsiding and should really be fixed. Me and dh discuss how we can afford for this, including claiming on insurance, reselling the car etc. At this point I have another chat with mum asking if she is really sure she doesn't need the money back, and if we could pay it back in large monthly instalments instead. She says she is more than happy to do this.
So cue yesterday, I visit her and she totally flips at me. My mum is not very well off. She has a low paid job, but has very large savings. She goes mental saying that she didn't know dh was buying a car (which she did, we both told her and he showed her pictures of it) and that she never has nice stuff so how dare we ask her to help effectively buy this for him and she wants her money back right now. she kicked me out and I left in tears.
It all escalated from there, my dh had a go at her for shouting at me as he thought it was unfair. My brother then got involved and proceeded to tell me I had been hugely out of order for even asking my mum to help out.
So that's my question. Was I awful to ask my mum for the original loan? Was I even more unreasonable to accept her offer to keep the money, which she made before we even knew we would need it.
Thanks if you made it this far btw, and I know money is always a difficult issue. We have never asked for financial help before, and never plan on doing so again now.