Is it reasonable to move?

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Wibu to move a long way away from children's father, though staying in the uk? Or is this not allowed?

Be careful
My old colleague split up from his wife, they had joint custody,
She then put thier house on the market and accepted a job 2 hours away, he took her to court and won custody as judge said it wasn't fair to move the boys school etc on her whim to move.
Mums don't automatically get it all thier way nowadays.

And why so far away?
Do you have family and support where you want to go to?

No, no support. It's just if he's close by i'll want to go back.

It's just if he's close by i'll want to go back.

I don't mean this nastily but that's you putting your feelings ahead of your children's.

Moving away from everyone you know is bloody hard, you're looking at it like it's the answer but it's not (from what you've posted)

Do you really want to disrupt your children so much and rip them away from their father on a whim? If so, you might as well leave them with him and go get your fresh start on your own.

People sometimes have no choice but to make big moves, and it's difficult for all concerned. Why would you do it just so you don't go back to your ex? Get some counselling to deal with why this is the car.

Case not car

Maybe unborn. But it's hard.

I know it's hard I've felt the same myself and I do honestly sympathise.

I just think you'd regret doing it too your DC a bit further down the line.

Only one is at school, if that makes a difference.

If he's abusive then it's not recommended you go to counselling together but it may be worth going on your own.

If he's not nice to you then how can he be a great Dad? He's not exactly a role model.

I don't really want to go to counselling tbh. He is lovely to the children.

I'm sorry you're not happy in your relationship but they are just as much his children as yours. I don't think it's fair that some women feel they can just take their children far away from their father (unless there is violence/abuse) just because they feel like it.

I am a mum and my children are my everything, they are the reason I wake up in the morning. I can only imagine that it is the same for their dad so to move them far away from him just seems really wrong to me.

Can't you have a fresh start but still have the children maintain a good relationship with their dad?

It doesn't matter how lovely he is to the children.
If he is being horrible to you in front of them then that is also classed as child abuse.
It's not something DC should see or hear if he's not being nice to their mother.
When you say, not very nice to you, can you give us some examples?
I don't want to jump straight to 'he's an abuser, call Womens Aid' but we can advise better if we know in what ways he's not very nice to you.

Well people have said abusive. I'm still not totally sure. Maybe it's wrong to take them away but I can't imagine staying round here without him either.

Well in what way is he not very nice?

Hard to explain!

Are you allowed to do your own thing?
Do you work?
Do you have friends?
Do you have full access to money? All money, his as well as yours?
Is bill paying split fairly?
Does he work?
Do you get any benefits paid into your own account?
Does he smoke weed?
Does he drink too much?
Is he out a lot?
Are you allowed freedom?
Does he check your phone, emails?
Has he ever laid a hand on you at all?
Pushed you or blocked doorways?
Does he put you down a lot and just knock your confidence?
Does he allow you to see all your family and friends?
Are you allowed friends around to visit and stay?
There are so many different types of abuse.
Have a look at the Womens Aid website.
Also look at the post at the top of the relationships board that might help you.

I've already posted in relationships. Thanks. I think I should try to end the marriage, but it's hard.

I moved an hour away from DS1's Dad. Not through spite or malice, just because I wanted a fresh start. The only thing I had to be conscious of was that because I was the one to choose to move away it would have been unreasonable to expect his Dad to be the one doing all the picking up and dropping off for visits.

I get the feeling that you're not at this point yet, though, and as others have said, moving away because you're afraid you'll go back to him is a precarious position. Is there anyone at all locally you can speak to, or have you been totally isolated from friends and family?

Hi there's no one I can speak to. I've only ever had him.

If he is good and would help you out, it's far easier to have them on board than not

No one should put up with abuse.

If you don't want to talk on here it might be worth having a look on the women's aid website and seeing if anything relates to you.

There is also some very wise posters on here who would also give you excellent advice.

I don't know :) I don't trust myself to stay away. But maybe moving isn't right either.

It doesn't matter if it's "hard" for you living close to him (if you split), it's about your children. They shouldn't be deprived of a father just because you can't make your mind up and stick to it.

Maybe I'd be best staying, then? I don't know.