How can I get through visit with smelly relatives?

[Prompto]

Some of DH's family are coming to visit for the day tomorrow, arriving shortly after breakfast and staying until after dinner. They absolutely adore the DC (even if they're not the most tolerant when it comes to the quirks and noise of young children) and I know they're really looking forward to their visit but - and I feel so mean/bitchy for saying this - they stink.

They chain-smoke and they don't wash often enough so it's a horrible mingled smell of fags, bad breath and stale BO. They're not elderly or incapacitated in anyway, they simply don't seem to notice or mind that they smell. DH won't say anything because he says they'd be mortified and then he'd feel bad and I would too, plus how awkward would the day then be?

Usually I can tolerate it but this is a longer visit than normal. To complicate it further I'm pregnant and have HG so my sense of smell is off the charts and any strong whiff sets me off vomiting. How am I going to get through this visit?

You need to find a smell you can tolerate and put it on a tissue. Every time you feel a bit sick from the smell, have a sniff of the tissue. Hopefully it will neutralise the smell.

I'm quite sensitive to smells anyway so would struggle but when I had HG I would've had to cancel this, I'd have been throwing up and unable to conceal the gagging reflex whilst close to them.

I can never understand the people who say they don't see the need for a daily shower or bath because they don't smell They just don't notice it on themselves, guaranteed that it will affect someone else and they will be tying themselves in knots about it because they don't want to bring it up and risk offending the non-washer.

Oh yes, like a pp said put a throw on your sofa! Otherwise your sofa will stink for ages.

wonder if they are heavy smokers then their sense of smell is probably crap which will be why they haven't realized they stink.

I used to smoke, but after a week or so of giving up my sense of smell was so much better.

My PILs & their whole house smells of damp & cooking & it pervades everything we wear & take with us when we go.

We have a routine now of stripping & leaping into the shower as soon as we get home & washing everything twice

If they come to us we sit in the kitchen, never on the good sofas - tried throws once but they carefully removed them, folded them up & sat directly on the cushions

Any attempt to discuss it has been met with huffing, anger, sulking & disbelief & it is slowly getting worse.

Do you live anywhere near a child-friendly swimming pool? Since your DC love them , they have been nagging you to ask Auntie X & Uncle Y to take the them swimming... Your DH can take them all while you have a wel-deserved rest... Then at least they and their hair will be clean, and the residual chlorine smell might mask their unwashed clothes.

Some of my colleagues are related.

Individually, the smell is bad. When all of them are in the office together (which thankfully is rare) , the stench is unmanageable.

My (non-smelly) colleague keeps Febreeze in her desk and sprays it liberally when they leave.

The offspring of the main colleague (trying to be as non-identifying as possible) look clean, wear deodorant and aftershave, but there's a smell like shit that lingers around them. It's bizarre. The main colleague is very proud that she's never used deodorant or perfume in her life. Unfortunately she seems quite shy of showering as well, the BO is unbearable. Considering we work with bed-bound people and she's leaning over them reeking of BO.

What's worse is when she's had a fag and comes in with the added bonus of fag-stench.

Vile. Vile. Vile.

Prompto, Group Text Message:

I'm pregnant and have HG so my sense of smell is off the charts and any strong whiff sets me off vomiting.

I implore all of you to please be fastidious about personal hygiene tomorrow. Please shower, wear clean clothes and refrain from using perfume/cologne. I am particularly struggling with the smell of cigarette smoke at the moment.

Can't wait to see you all!

How old are your children? Are they young enough to tell them they smell without it being awkward? (But old enough that you can prime them to say it without them telling the relatives that you told them to do it?!)

The trouble with a situation like this is that it just goes on and on. It won't get better without someone saying something. Sometimes it is worth risking offence. After all, you're really being rude because you are stating a fact! Blame it on the HG - as PP have said, perhaps a quick message advising that you are extremely sensitive to smells, especially cigarette smoke, and if they cannot ensure they don't smell of it, you'll have to cancel.

I would be too ill in bed to mingle but tell your DH to pass on your most sincere apologies.

Oh this will be so difficult for you, I have such a heightened sense of smell, even at 24 weeks pregnant and cigarette smoke is the absolute worst for me. Even now it makes me want to throw up. I'm not usually such a diva but I wouldn't stay, I'd have to go out or be 'ill'. If you have HG then to avid being ill then you can't stay there or see them yourself, you'll be feeling the effects for days to come.

If your smell is like mine, scented candles and air fresheners are a big no no too. I've had to switch to everything being fragrance free, even my shampoo and conditioner, the weirdest thing I've ever experienced with my body! Aside from feeling my baby girl move inside me hehe

Dab Vicks under each nostril.

I find this thread quite sad. The talk of "the good sofas" etc...

Sympathies, HG is vile. I agree with pp's regarding an olbas oil infused tissue (assuming olbas oil isn't a trigger smell!)

I was nearly sick during an eye test once. The optician had obviously had a strong curry the night before and the smell on her breath was horrendous!

I've had a go with some vicks and it seems to be one of the few smells not making me sick. Why didn't I discover this seven months ago when I couldn't go in my own kitchen without needing to vom!?

Fingers crossed it does the job tomorrow, DH has promised he'll give me lots of time out opportunities too and will suggest I go for a lie down after lunch "that is if no one minds you disappearing for an hour?"

CaraAspen it is sad that some people are so neglectful of their personal hygiene that it actually drives people away. It is incredibly anti social to go out stinking and knowing it.

Vicks up your nose.

A trick i learnt from CSI is that grinning suppresses the gag reflex.

Could you walk around with a pomander? They're quite festive looking-oranges studded with cloves- or have some as Christmas 'decorations'?
Seriously OP, a hanky laced with whatever scent-Olbas oil, perfume, fabric conditioner- can function as a mask and you can pretend you have a nose that is constantly running. I do this on the train. And febreze/ open the windows when they're gone.

I didn't suffer morning sickness apart from some nausea but I couldn't have tolerated the smell tbh. Not helpful but not sure how yoir going to do it with hg. Id take to bed pleadig a bad day of hg

A long walk and a pub lunch?

Someone needs to tell them. It is not fair to let them go around being smelly without someone telling them. Best from nearest and dearest. If that is your DH, then down to him I'might afraid. You might lose the friendship but letting them know if more important. Put it in the nicest way you can. I'may sure they do not want to be smelly.

Probably too late now but if you mix lime essential oil with distilled water and spray it, it neutralises smells. Make sure they dont see you do it.

I second (fourth) the Vicks or Tiger balm in the nose. Learned that one backpacking round grotty hostels years and years ago. Still take a small tub with me even on naice family holidays.