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AIBU?

AIBU to have just gone NC with parents..... crying and shaking with rage

75 replies

Dunkling · 21/12/2016 08:52

Have just this second finally made the decision after decades, to go NC. Have deleted them from Facebook.

So as not to dripfeed though I have mentioned them before on here.....

Parents separated when I was nearly 2, brother 4, and Dad got us as Mum ran off with another man. Contact with her is cards only.

He threw us out when I was 2 and we went to live with grandparents as his new wife didn't want us.
We went back to live with him on my request when I was 13. It lasted a year.... brother thrown out and put into squalid flat at 17. I was thrown out and put into care at 14.
During that year I was verbally, emotionally and mentally abused by our stepmum. I was told know one would ever love me, I was worthless, I would end up in a mental home, likened to myra Hindley and ian bradey?????? It was bizarre and at least something I can now see was HER problem and not us. I was thrown out in the snow in my nightware. Dragged around a room by my hair. This was all her, but he watched it all and said nothing. Sat in silence.

The day I was thrown out, he told me to pack (what had I done this time? I had no idea). Within half an hour we were in his car, and he dropped me outside my mums, who I didn't know, in an area I didn't know, and left me and my belongings in the road and drove off.

Contact since has been sparse...... they divorced but over other relationships, he has still barely kept in touch, sometimes going years without seeing him. Round robin emails. cards etc.

Fast forward, he remarried. She looked like this could be the solution. Lots of mending mentioned etc. I bought a holiday home close to them to help with my depression and anxiety and I thought this would be the solution. One season in and I realised what a waste of money!!..... We would make arrangements for our next visit but they would cancel us when it came around, as they would have bumped us off for her family (who were at instant contact as all local to them). We would invite them out, but again, always busy with her family. Invite them around for a meal... the same.

I decided to cut our losses and sold up. Since...... and abusive sweary rant off her daughter on facebook messanger. PA posts from the wife blatantly aimed at me. My daughter hates my dad as he has barely seen them, never been a grandparent. I told him this... finally!! He called me a liar, said I always cancelled. I told him he was full of shit. I cancelled ONCE! He never visited them, emailed them, phoned them. That felt good!! Then she posted lots of PA posts on liars.

SO....... I became a grandmother and have posted photo on photo, and lovely posts at how proud I am. No comments from them. No joining in. Then today..... a post "They have visited all the family, had such fun etc etc. Seen all kids, grandkids, new great grandbaby (the one they haven't even acknowledged to me I have!).... Sorry to extended family if they didn't visit." This visit takes them past our house en route.

I can't get my head........ do they not see us as family? So an oversight. Do they and this was a cruel cruel deliberate post? Just..... WHY????

And so that was it... I unfriended them both and that is it. They are dead to me.

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BiscuitCapitalOfTheWorld · 21/12/2016 13:35

Umm

YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING