To want to return the vouchers?

[Jennywallpaper]

DH has family that have recently moved abroad, we would normally visit them before Christmas and we would exchange gifts. But this year as they aren't in the same country we were just going to send a card to the adults and a card and voucher for each of the DC.
Our postman has just been and has delivered a card from this family to ours. Just one card for our whole family, so wibu to return the vouchers and just send the cards?

(I know I likely ambu but I just feel a little disappointed especially as this is our DD first Christmas)

Yep, just the card. Set the standard for the next few years then :-)

Card only

Maybe a parcel is in the post?
Maybe they are busy if they have only recently moved?
Maybe they thought as you weren't visiting you wouldn't be doing gifts?
I would send vouchers.

Wolfie they moved in the summer, if they have sent a parcel would it not have arrived along with the card?

This gift giving business is complicated stuff!

They could have sent a family card from where they live and sent a gift card separately - e.g. purchased online from a company in U.K. That's why I do for my Australian friend. I buy the kids gifts from an Australian website for lower cost quicker post.

I bet they have a parcel in the post.

YABU. You don't give to receive - send the vouchers.

How much is the family voucher for though? Sending a few cards abroad to the same address seems petty pointless and expensive to me. Just one to the whole family is fine.
I didn't think you could get refunds for vouchers anyway.

Take the vouchers back if you give to receive. If not then just send as you would usually. There could be a parcel on its way too.

Knitella you might be on to something, that sounds like something they would do that I'd never even think of tbh.

Ijustwanna its individual gift cards for each DC, no gift for the adults this year. That's why I bought gift cards so I could just pop them in with the family card and save on postage

I'm not sure if gift cards/vouchers are refundable anyway. I'd just send them unless you were able to use them yourself.

Can they even use the vouchers abroad?

NerrSnerr I don't give to receive at all, and it wouldn't be me receiving it would be my DC. I would have been spending more than them anyway as I have less DC than they have.

But you are. You want to deprive their kids a gift because yours didn't get one.

Just send the vouchers and take it from there.

My dad lives in Canada and I have often received cards separately from the parcel - god only knows why he doesn't send the cards in the parcel. I have also received parcels from Amazon etc that he has ordered directly to me.

Just an aside where are you sending the cards and/or vouchers to a lot of last guaranteed postal dates has passed.

Send the vouchers. Would you really care if you didn't get anything in return?

I hate all the tit-for-tat nonsense at Christmas. Never do something you didn't think was the right thing to do just because somebody else wasn't on your wavelength, whether they went over or under your expectations.

In some countries you aren't allowed to put letters in parcels. You have to post them separately.

If they are abroad haven't you missed the last posting dates by miles anyway?

Lifebeginsatforty I wasn't aware of that but from/to Canada it's not an issue - he has previously sent it all as one and I send his cards in his parcel it's just been last couple of years he hasn't.

Thanks for all the replies everyone, I'm just going to send it all and if something arrives for my DC that's great and if not sure if doesn't really matter. It's all about who we are with that really matters anyway! That's for giving me some perspective!!

Well done OP!
Overseas relatives often send us presents directly from amazon UK. I also send off a bulk mailing of cards early, then presents separately later, so even if I'm posting card could easily beat the present to it. All sorts of possibilities.

If it is a mismatch, better to be the one giving and not getting than vice versa I reckon. Then you can do the little present dance I get into with distant cousins where only one of us sends a present one year, the next year only the other one does.

I agree with user, whatever you send it isn't going to get there in time anyway now.

Thanks catkind!

The post should only take a couple of days to arrive with them. I'll get it posted tomorrow and hopefully they will have it on time!

The post should only take a couple of days to arrive with them. I'll get it posted tomorrow and hopefully they will have it on time!

Wouldn't be so sure. Last recommended first class post day for this country is tomorrow so abroad would have been days ago.

I think you've done the right thing.
You'd decided to give...so you are giving.

You can wait and see if you receive anything and if you want that to influence next year's decision, it can.

Every year, there is someone who gets for someone in our family who we haven't bought for. And every year, we have also bought for someone who hasn't bought for us. It's impossible to predict exactly everyone who will buy for each person and really, it doesn't matter as one offs.

If you had been buying for 10 years with nothing in return, you might consider not continuing, but doing it once or twice, really doesn't matter.

Better to be generous than mean.