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Original poster

Christmas Sleeping Arrangments!

44 replies

MrsMoore2803 · 19/12/2016 16:33

So I am writing this post for my mum who does not have Mumsnet but needs a quick answer.
This Christmas me and DH are going to be staying in a hotel nearby instead of staying with my mum over Christmas due to me being pregnant with our twins and us wanting our privacy.

However my little sister (who is 21) is hoping to bring her boyfriend (of 2 years) to join the family at Christmas. They are both up in Scotland at University and will be driving down to where mum lives in Kent on the 23rd and going back to Scotland on the 27th of December. They're both students so don't really have a lot of money to spend on a hotel room (it would cost about £270+ for the 4 nights) so my sister is wanting to stay in her bedroom at mums house with her boyfriend.

Mum likes her boyfriend but even though she knows that they are having sex and pretty much live together in his student house, she is still not sure if they should share a room at her house. She has a small house so no spare room for him but she doesn't want to make him sleep downstairs on the sofa. Would you let your daughter sleep in the same room as her boyfriend?

Mum would be happy if it wasn't for my brother (who is 16 and wanting his girlfriend to stay over on New Years Eve??)

Please help.
Thank you

OP posts:
TwitterQueen1 · 19/12/2016 16:35

21 - yes. (and especially as they are students)

16 - no

HTH Xmas Grin

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/12/2016 16:35

Yes I'd let them stay in the same room. I have let ds1 since he was 18.

Coralfish · 19/12/2016 16:35

I think it would be a bit ridiculous to make the 21 year old's boyfriend sleep on the sofa. However, I would not let the 16 year old's girlfriend stay over... Not sure how you explain or justify that though...

mygorgeousmilo · 19/12/2016 16:36

She is 21, and living miles away, so perfectly capable of managing her life. I'd let them sleep together as they've been together two years anyway. 16 yo brother, I'd say no because that's still fairly young.

DiegeticMuch · 19/12/2016 16:36

I don't think it's very welcoming or hospitable to make someone's partner of 2 years sleep on the sofa.

SenoritaViva · 19/12/2016 16:37

Yes I would.

Original poster
MrsMoore2803 · 19/12/2016 16:37

She has already said no to my brother but if he sees that his sister can have her boyfriend stay over then he will likely get moody and not understand why he can't have his girlfriend stay over so my mum doesn't want to make any problems on top of Christmas

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 19/12/2016 16:39

I would too.
I've let DD since 18.
16 - not a chance in hell.

Artandco · 19/12/2016 16:39

Yes I would let them share of course, they are both adults and have been a while.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/12/2016 16:40

She just has to tell him no. I have a 16 year old DS who would love his gf to stay in his room - I just tell him im not letting her stay at 16. He does realise that his brother is older than him, and also wasnt allowed to at 16. It shouldn't be an issue.

Scottishchick39 · 19/12/2016 16:40

Yes I would. She is an adult, her brother is still a child at 16.

LizzieMacQueen · 19/12/2016 16:41

Can the boyfriend not have your old room?

Congratulations on your pregnancy of twins. Next Christmas will be sooooo different.

MummyStep123 · 19/12/2016 16:41

Explain that the issue is age difference!
Yes she should let the daughter who is 21 have her bf stay, no at 16 this is not ok for the son, explain to him that sleeping in the same room in her house is 18 &a above!

pipsqueak25 · 19/12/2016 16:42

mum's home, mum's rules, if ds wants to throw a moody,[hardly adult behaviour] let him he's got plenty of time to get over it, she doesn't need to give a reason if she isn't happy with the situation.

Original poster
MrsMoore2803 · 19/12/2016 16:44

LizzieMacQueen
I left home about 7 years ago and mum has since into a 3 bed house so there is no spare rooms.
And thank you. I'm happy and excited but also dreading the first few months!!!!

OP posts:
RaptorInaFestiveFez · 19/12/2016 16:51

On NYE could sister and the GF have one room and brother and BF have the other?

So GF is still staying over but it reduces the probability of hanky panky?

RaptorInaFestiveFez · 19/12/2016 16:52

Oh I've just seen they're not actually there for new year...... silly me

harderandharder2breathe · 19/12/2016 16:53

21 let them share s room, they're independent adults

16 not sure I'd let them share but TBH even if she's officially on the sofa, she's unlikely to stay there

Original poster
MrsMoore2803 · 19/12/2016 16:54

RaptorInaFestiveFez My sister and her bf are going back to Scotland on the 27th so that they can spend NYE and NY with his family.

OP posts:
deloresclaiborne · 19/12/2016 16:57

yes to your sister she 21 and an adult
and yes to your brother
when hes 21

lottieandmia · 19/12/2016 17:01

21 is more than old enough to have a boyfriend stay in your room. My parents let me have my boyfriend stay at 16 - there is no chance I would let my dds do this though. Unless I felt it was the lesser of two evils.

quirkychicken · 19/12/2016 17:05

21 years old with a boyfriend of two years and this is even a question? crazy! of course they should share a room!

dingdongthewitchishere · 19/12/2016 17:06

I think it's difficult to say no once your child has moved out, is living away from home and is 21. The only option is to refuse the see the boyfriend at Christmas, but I wouldn't do that to my kids. I would say yes.

16, I am afraid, is far too young. Your brother will have to wait, even if his girlfriend parents would agree.

namechangedtoday15 · 19/12/2016 17:06

I was never allowed to share with a boy until I got married (when I was 31!) but actually I wouldn't have wanted to - I know my parents were quite strict and respected their rules in their house.

We'd have played musical beds in that scenario - is there only one reception room downstairs? If so, 16yr old probably would have got sofa downstairs, 21 yr old would have got her room and her boyfriend would have got your brothers. Brother might have got blow up bed on mum or sisters floor depending on the family dynamics.

user1471439727 · 19/12/2016 17:08

I think if they're travelling from Scotland to Kent, they must be pretty serious. They are also both independent adults and have been together for two years. Who is driving back up to Scotland? If he is then it's definitely unreasonable to expect him to sleep on the couch.

I don't think your mother has to justify it to your brother. He's 16. That, and the fact that he still lives at home (and maybe hasn't been with his girlfriend for very long) should be enough. Your mother could choose to set the age restriction at 18. Or even perhaps 20 if she wishes.

I'll just add that I'm about 6 years older than my younger sibling, and it was infuriating and incredibly patronising to always be grouped with him when it came to everything. To always be treated and spoken down to as if we were the same age - his age - was humiliating.

Good luck with the twins!