Christmas Sleeping Arrangments!

[MrsMoore2803]

So I am writing this post for my mum who does not have Mumsnet but needs a quick answer.
This Christmas me and DH are going to be staying in a hotel nearby instead of staying with my mum over Christmas due to me being pregnant with our twins and us wanting our privacy.

However my little sister (who is 21) is hoping to bring her boyfriend (of 2 years) to join the family at Christmas. They are both up in Scotland at University and will be driving down to where mum lives in Kent on the 23rd and going back to Scotland on the 27th of December. They're both students so don't really have a lot of money to spend on a hotel room (it would cost about £270+ for the 4 nights) so my sister is wanting to stay in her bedroom at mums house with her boyfriend.

Mum likes her boyfriend but even though she knows that they are having sex and pretty much live together in his student house, she is still not sure if they should share a room at her house. She has a small house so no spare room for him but she doesn't want to make him sleep downstairs on the sofa. Would you let your daughter sleep in the same room as her boyfriend?

Mum would be happy if it wasn't for my brother (who is 16 and wanting his girlfriend to stay over on New Years Eve??)

Please help.
Thank you

Yes, so long as they are respectful!

16 is a bit young to have a gf/bf sleep over, tell him maybe next year!

Yes to the 21 year olds as long as your DM doesn't have moral objections.No to the 16 yos.I have a DD nearing 16 and would have something to say to the bfs mum if she let them share a bed!

2 year relationship at 21, yes. DS has had two "sleepover girlfriends" - both were 12 month + relationships and he was 20 and 22 at the time.

I have a DD too, and am expecting a similar situation shortly.

Yes I would let the 21 year old, but not the 16 year old.

And I would tell the 16 year old that when they are 21 I will let them too

Yes to the 21 yo.

When the 16yo is 21 he can share a room with his partner of 2 years.

Oh and she is 20 not 16.

At 16 no way Jose!

Yes shes 21 and theyve been together 2 years id certainly let them share a room!!!
I dont think the 16 year old makes it an issue because a 16 year old is still a dependant child and so really has to adhere to whatever his mothers wishes are about him having a girl stay.
A 21 year old living away from home is an adult.

namechangedtoday15 Mums house is really small. Three bedrooms upstairs (have to walk through the master to get to my brothers room). Front door opens up to living room then there is the kitchen, dining room, bathroom and conservatory. There is also a basement which could potentially be a temporary bedroom although it is very cold

DM needs to say to db, sister is an adult therefore bf can stay.

Absolutely allow your sister, she's a an adult, same as you. Your brother isn't yet an adult (well going by the whole 18 thing) so he has to just get over it.

However if they want to have sex they will find a way so is it better they do it at home or in the bushes or a car?? (My 16 year old self teehee!)

At 21 yes of course boyfriend can stay.
16 yr old no way gf can stay. Because they're 16 and not adults!

21 definitely yes, 16 definitely no.

Just to add to what everyone else is saying - yes to the 21 year old (adults, living away from home, 2 year relationship etc. etc.) and no to the 16 year old.

When he is an adult maybe DM can reconsider .

21 living away from home is very different from 16 living at home. He might not like this distinction, but your Mum is not being unreasonable in the slightest to apply it.

Your mum also has a duty of care towards the 16YO GF while she is under her roof, and that means abiding by whatever expectations her own parents have. Her own parents might be fine with her sharing a bed (unlikely), but that still doesn't mean she has to be ok with her 16YO son sharing his bed.

He doesn't have to like it, he just has to accept it.

Yes to the 21 year old and no to the 16 year old.
Reasons:

1. There's a big difference between a 21 year-old and a 16 year-old
2. Mum's house = mum's rules!

21 yes, 16 no. And if your brother doesn't understand why that is then he is being a bit silly. Very obvious to make the distinction for an adult living away from home and a person under 18 still living at home.

And yes of course, they're probably going to have sex anyway, but that doesn't mean Mum should have to facilitate it before she's ready.

FFS, the rest of us had to fumble around in dark, awkward places, so can these young 'uns.

18 adult so yes.

16 not adult so up to Mum.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I have passed them on to my mum and she completely agrees! My sister is over the moon to be able to spend Christmas with "the love of her life". Little brothers grumpy but he can get over it.