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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with OHs family?

61 replies

PinkiePiesCupcakes · 18/12/2016 22:52

Not one of them has gotten DD an Xmas present.

Gfs mum basically said she's not doing Christmas this year, no gift for DD.
Gfs brother spent too much on holiday in Turkey, he went for 8 weeks, got back Thursday, no gift for DD.
Gfs sister is saving to move in to a flat in Exeter in march next year with her boyfriend, no gift for DD.

It doesn't make a difference I guess but we travelled for 3 hours to see them and take gifts to them. Not one of them even so much as got her a card. She's only 3y8m so doesn't understand I guess.

Fwiw, my mum and step dad got her some little bits at least.

I dunno, so MN, AIBU to be annoyed?
I feel like they basically dont care enough about their Granddaughter / Niece to even get her a card.

OP posts:
pregnantat50 · 19/12/2016 00:16

Did they tell you in advance there were no gifts for your DD and as you are going on 9th January could they possibly have got her something then and just not had time to be organised by this weekend? (hoping this is the case)

Original poster
PinkiePiesCupcakes · 19/12/2016 00:18

No word in and advance on no gifts, but they did know we were going this weekend, it had been organised since September.

OP posts:
Daisyfrumps · 19/12/2016 00:22

It's horrible and thoughtless.

ohfourfoxache · 19/12/2016 00:26

On the plus side, at least you know that they aren't doing presents any more so you don't have to waste any time, effort or money on them in the future

Pretty shitty of them though Sad

Notcontent · 19/12/2016 00:28

It's a bit odd and lazy of them. That's such an easy age group to buy for...

haveacupoftea · 19/12/2016 00:32

I wouldnt bother visiting them in January, or possibly ever again tbh.

selly24 · 19/12/2016 00:42

As other posters have said, even if money tight with relatives, a jam jar decorated with stickers and ribbon and filled with a few crayons costs pence....
how measley of them..

HeCantBeSerious · 19/12/2016 01:11

We have a similar situation. When DD didn't get a Xmas present from anyone in DH's (large) family (aged 2) and DS' first Xmas I thought they must be planning something for the next time we'd seeing them (we're also several miles away). Nope. They're now 8 and 6 and they've not had a Xmas or birthday present since then (they do buy for local family members though). Took me a year or 2 to catch on but now they get nothing either. And our visits have dwindled to a couple of times a year rather than 5-6 visits. Fuck 'em.

HeCantBeSerious · 19/12/2016 01:13

*several hours away

Atenco · 19/12/2016 04:16

I didn't have that problem, but my dd's uncle and godfather used to encourage her to ask for a bicycle and then not give her a damn thing at Christmas ggr. Fortunately she didn't ask for a bicycle or notice the absence of his present.

OnionKnight · 19/12/2016 06:26

YANBU and I wouldn't be seeing them again so soon either.

lovelearning · 19/12/2016 07:24

PinkiePiesCupcakes, you are projecting your expectations onto other people, and are then resentful when they don't measure up.

Your girlfriend's family are giving your daughter the most valuable gift of all: Their time.

It's a far greater gift than some Made in China tat.

HaveNoSocks · 19/12/2016 07:43

That is pretty lame, why not get her something from pound land if money's tight?

thecatsarecrazy · 19/12/2016 07:51

We had a family get together last weekend, my dh cousin left with lots of gifts for him and d.s. Don't know if he gave anyone else anything but my d.s's didn't get anything, Not even a card. Its bloody rude imo. We aren't well off, expecting another baby next month but still managed to get his son something.

aprilanne · 19/12/2016 08:06

if money is that tight saving 50p every week in a jar all year and they could have got some nice gifts from say b and m wilko the likes they are just misery guts not to give a present to a little one

Balanced12 · 19/12/2016 08:15

YANBU they are thoughtless. It's all about little ones, the joy a wrapped bit of tat can bring is fab. I wouldn't put myself out for them again, they obviously are not interested

Qwertie · 19/12/2016 08:23

That's not nice, OP. Your gf must be upset. Would a conversation along the lines of "I wish you'd told us you weren't doing presents in advance; we could have spent the money for your gift on DD instead" Do any good?

SloeGinandTonic · 19/12/2016 08:31

Are they biologically related to the child? I have some friends who are civil partners and have a child but one set of parents never give anything to the child a they say it is not their 'real' grandchild. This always shocks me.

Kr1stina · 19/12/2016 08:39

You are right to be upset. Even if they are short of coach they could have got something .

She's 3 and would have been happy with a selection box and some cheap tatt from home bargains /Poundland /B and M store .

It's just rude.

So why are you going back on 9 January?

Kr1stina · 19/12/2016 08:40

Short of cash

Unluckycat1 · 19/12/2016 08:45

Wow, that's really mean spirited. Three is a wonderful and easy and non expensive age to buy for.

Original poster
PinkiePiesCupcakes · 19/12/2016 08:47

Thanks for the replies.

For those asking why we're going back on the 9th its because my GF wants to see her family again before they separate. Her sister is back from the US on Jan 5th until Jan 12th when she heads to her BFs in London, her mum is going to Seven on January 14th and her brother is flying to Rome on January 19th. They won't all be in the same town after that until end of March. 9th is last day that GF has off to go see them. They don't come to us, they've never come to us, our town is too small and they don't like our area.

OP posts:
EnormousTiger · 19/12/2016 08:47

I do not believe in too much materialism or presents actually. We don't all think Christmas is about giving stuff, cluttering houses and the like. For some it's about God, Christ, loving and that kind of thing. However most of us would drum up something for a three year old if the visit was expected.

Original poster
PinkiePiesCupcakes · 19/12/2016 08:47

Seven = Devon

OP posts:
chaplin1409 · 19/12/2016 08:52

Thats such a shame there are so many nice cheap things for a little girl at that age.

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