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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

10yo DS has hunted for presents... Wibu to make him wait for gifts?

97 replies

YetAnotherUser · 18/12/2016 22:34

10yo DS has hunted for (and found) some presents... Not for the first time either.

WIBU to:
A) Get him a sack of coal to open
B) Make him wait until after lunch to open his presents
C) Both of the above?

OP posts:

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 19/12/2016 07:56

We live in a tiny house. I told my dc that if they found and unwrapped a present they wouldn't be given it. Only happened the once (and luckily only a small present). I put it aside, and they got it next year.

youarenotkiddingme · 19/12/2016 08:01

I agree with everyone about how he's spoilt his own surprise.

Do you have a garage or shed? Does he have an old bike in there?

I'd perhaps help him gain back a bit of the surprise but opening all gifts including helmet. Then taking time to have a coffee and snack, then announcing everyone is going for a walk. Suggest he tries his new helmet out by taking his bike.

Then when he opens she'd or whatever new one is in there!

I remember a year my siblings got 'big' gifts and I felt disappointed I hadn't. until my parents decided they would open the patio door curtains after all and outside in the garden was a new bike.

It emulates that feeling and actually taught me to catch a wobble because I kept feeling bad I'd felt ungrateful iyswim?

Gatehouse77 · 19/12/2016 08:06

Ah well, I had much stricter parents. We were told that our parents' room was out of bounds and anyone caught in there would face the consequences.
One year my sister was caught. She had to wait until Boxing Day for her presents. None of us will open a present before Christmas Day.

A harsh lesson but effective.

Bluetrews25 · 19/12/2016 08:08

Just throwing it out there - but what's the difference between peeking at Christmas presents and peeking below the waist when you are having a scan? Some want to wait and get the surprise on the day, others like to get ready by knowing in advance.

Fishcakey · 19/12/2016 08:14

I always hunted as a kid. Never did me any harm. I honestly don't think DS does but as he doesn't believe in Santa and wrote me a list then I don't suppose he feels the need to. It would mean abandoning his Xbox for ten minutes too so no, it won't happen!

Chasingsquirrels · 19/12/2016 08:25

I ALWAYS looked in my parents hiding places (and opened, then resealed wrapped presents under the tree).
I never felt I had spoilt the surprise - I HATE surprises.
I'd either love what I'd found and anticipate being able to use it, or I wouldn't like it and would be able to temper any disappointment on the day as I'd gotten over it by then.
I still feel the same - I found the receipt (not on purpose) from the gift my ds has brought me, it's not what I'd like (he asked me for ideas, I gave him 3 or 4). But now I know, I can be grateful on the day.

blueskyinmarch · 19/12/2016 08:32

I loved looking for my presents before Christmas. The thrill of being where i shouldn’t be and the anticipation that i may get caught was total rush for me. It didn’t spoil Christmas day one little bit. I suspect my mum knew what i did but she never let on. I have no idea if mine ever sneaked a look but it wouldn’t have bothered me if they had. I tended to ‘hide’ things in plain sight anyway so there would have been no thrill of the hunt for them.

Noofly · 19/12/2016 08:34

Give them to him as usual. I always hunted for presents as a child. I hate surprises. Once I've read a few chapters of a book I read the end before going back to read it through. I read spoilers for films/TV shows. I used to hunt for presents. I hate surprises.

GravyAndShite · 19/12/2016 08:35

Bluetrews25 oh oh I know this one.

One is tat wrapped in shiny green and red.

The other is a baby!

jelly10 · 19/12/2016 08:36

I looked for my presents every year as a child and I still do as an adult

SloeGinandTonic · 19/12/2016 08:43

Please don't delay his presents. Some of the tales on here are emotional abuse. I work with children who in the past haven't got much at Christmas and they believe that it is because they have been naughty. To think that you are not getting gifts, even for only have a day would be very distressing for most children (although some wouldn't show it and would hide the emotion away)

Hunting and finding gifts is a right of passage, most children do it. It is part of not believing in santa any more etc

It doesn't mean a surprise is spoilt. Some people don't like surprises and never will either as children or adults.

Punishing children at Christmas in this way is never acceptable behaviour.

BattleaxeGalactica · 19/12/2016 08:49

Just do as you plan to anyway.

I looked for presents years back, found them and liked them but the stress of having to act all surprised at the big reveal meant I never did it again

MrsDustyBusty · 19/12/2016 08:54

I really hate the idea of playing a mean trick on a small boy on Christmas morning. Why do that, honestly? Why would you want to upset a child for doing something pretty harmless and completely consistent with behaviour of that age group?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/12/2016 09:01

Completely agree Mrs

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 19/12/2016 09:01

One year my sister was caught. She had to wait until Boxing Day for her presents

How vile and controlling.

Isadora2007 · 19/12/2016 09:07

I do like some ideas for managing to make it more of a surprise still though... as he may be a bit disappointed he has spoilt his surprise now...
but yeah... wrap as you go next year. And use a set paper per child so you know whose present is whose.

Upanddownroundandround · 19/12/2016 09:11

I argree that he has spoilt his own surprise. I did it once around my birthday. 16th as well...what I was thinking at that age I really don't know. I found my main present which was some really special jewellery. I was so upset and cross with myself and found opening it really hard and completely spoilt the morning.

SoupDragon · 19/12/2016 09:16

a small boy

He's 10. Possibly off to secondary school next year. Even if he's in Y5 he can probably cope with the joke of a few wrapped potatoes or something.

SoupDragon · 19/12/2016 09:18

what's the difference between peeking at Christmas presents and peeking below the waist when you are having a scan?

One is something bought by someone else as a surprise for you. The other is something that is yours alone.

wifeyhun · 19/12/2016 09:20

No don't make him wait.

We have all hunted down pressies.

They all get opened in the end anyway.

SailingThroughTime · 19/12/2016 09:23

Give him the presents but say in a calm and matter of fact way that you really enjoy giving him a surprise on Christmas morning and he's spoiled that for you now. It's the truth after all

SloeGinandTonic · 19/12/2016 09:25

Give him the presents but say in a calm and matter of fact way that you really enjoy giving him a surprise on Christmas morning and he's spoiled that for you now. It's the truth after all

And emotionally abusive.

I can't believe how controlling people on this thread are.

SloeGinandTonic · 19/12/2016 09:26

He's 10. Possibly off to secondary school next year. Even if he's in Y5 he can probably cope with the joke of a few wrapped potatoes or something.

You can't possibly know that. It depends on the child.

SloeGinandTonic · 19/12/2016 09:28

Why would you want to upset a child for doing something pretty harmless and completely consistent with behaviour of that age group?

I agree totally. But some adults feel that they have to dominate and control children- just backs they can, because they are adults or to make a meaningless spoilt. They are possibly emotionally unintelligent themselves. It is abusive.

SailingThroughTime · 19/12/2016 09:29

How the fuck is that emotionally abusive? 10 is plenty old enough to know that your own actions have an impact on other people.

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