Settle a friendly disagreement

[MTBMummy]

DP admitted to calling an unknown woman "Love", my view is it's an offensive and degrading term, he thinks it's not, something like "sugar tits" would be.

Am I being overly sensitive or is he just behind the times with what is or isn't offensive?

Off to bath the kids, look forward to your views.

I don't like it, but it wouldn't make my hackles rise.

What does get on my tits is when men (it's always men) put their hands out as if to move me out of their physical space on a crowded street/corridor etc.

It's me ducks around here. I like it! 😄

calling an unknown woman "Love"

I know the feeling.

Funny business. I use 'love' and am happy to be addressed as such. But 'mate' ? No thanks. It makes me cringe.

I think "sexist twat" to love, darling and the like.

Everyone says it oop North!

I like love and mate! I think it sounds friendly and affectionate. Sugar tits... less so!

Not offensive at all OP. I like it. Love, duck, hen, darling, sweetheart. I'll take any of them.

Another 'oop Northerner here and wouldn't be offended if he said it, used by men and women to each other so not just man to women. Intention being nice, not patronizing.

Obviously depends on context and not using it sarcastically but tbh, you can use any word in a good or bad way depending on tone.

He's right about sugar tits though, only if you're really good friends with someone

Totally depends on the context and what was being said with it as to whether it's patronising, here in the north where I'm from it's used a lot by men and women as a friendly term, not meant in a patronising way at all (i.e, the shop assistant might say 'would you like a carrier bag love?').

I had someone on a thread a little while ago point blank refusing to believe that grown men round here often call each other "duck." She accused me of being some sort of anti feminist thicko because she reckoned it was only something a man would say to a woman. But honestly, they really do in Notts Derbyshire.

Wouldn't bother me

"Alright love/darling/chick/sweetheart/sweetie/honey/duck, how are you doing today?"

Another Northerner here who uses them as every day language and wouldn't think twice about someone using it to refer to me.

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Love, duck, flower, darling, sweetheart don't even mind hon.

Better than 'madam'

Just nice innit.

i don't mind it. i'm also ok with chick (mils fave) and pet (a northern classic) so what would i know?

I've been called much worse things by total strangers, so "love" wouldn't even register with me in a day to day setting. In a formal meeting it would grate, but otherwise I might not even notice.

I use it myself

Where I live the common term of endearment is "hen" 😀 ... it's meant in a friendly, nice way - as is "love".

Thinking about it, every voice mail my DF ever leaves me begins with 'Hiya lovey, it's your Dad', in that context it's a lovely term of endearment

I don't mind love, mate, pal, hen (Scottish), etc face to face as you can judge the intention.

I hate "good girl" and have said I'm not a fucking Alsatian so in the past.

I loathe when one guy at work, whom I have never met who calls me(48) "Princess" in emails. I also loathe the fact I haven't pulled him up on it.................yet.

Depends how it was said. If he said "look love, calm down love, cheer up love". I'd agree it's offensive and patronising.

If he said "it's £2 for the coffee love", or "thanks love". Then absolutely fine.

In my personal life, doesn't bother me but professionally I hate it, especially when done by men. I have felt that some men do it very deliberately in order to belittle and undermine.

it would all depend on tone tbh.
It might have been fine, it might have been slapworthy...who knows?

Don't ever come to yorkshire.......

Literally everyone calls you love / sweets / flower.

As with others its not a man to woman thing, my dad says it to his mates etc 'ta-rah lovey' etc.

Though i did smile when an 8yr old at work said it. Handed him a worksheet and he says 'cheers love...erm i mean miss'

puppy people use "duck" in Lincolnshire too.
Men to men, men to women, women to men, women to women.

It is said by both the older and younger participant, to both strangers and family.