Christmas table controversy

[Tabbylady]

We always spend christmas with my parents. Me and DH, our 2 DSs, Dsis and her family and DB and his. There are big age gaps between us siblings and therefore the cousins.

Since kids came on the scene they've been at a separate "kids" table for reasons of space and my parents being OTT about "mess" (plastic tablecloths, no alcohol, kids crackers etc)

My sister's daughter is much older than the other kids and has selflessly put up with this for years and we've always had a little private joke about how silly it is. She's nearly 22. This year, my DB (aged 40) split with his long term partner and is planning on bringing his new girlfriend, aged 25...

My DN was a bit about all this, being quite close with DB, but has lost the plot about the ongoing table arrangements. I think she's probably projecting anger about other stuff onto this situation (loss of DBs partner who we all liked etc) but she is threatening not to come if new GF gets "treated like a grown up" while she's subjected to a boozeless christmas dinner with the little ones.

I am actually quite supportive of her- there must be a more inclusive way to do it all- and have said so to DPs who are having none of it. This silly thing is threatening a bit of a rift- me, DH, DSis and BIL and DN all on same side with the rest of them on the other. Suspect DBs new GF has no clue.

AIBU to support my DN in this admittedly a bit silly fuss? How would you resolve it?

[TheDailyWail]

I'm very sorry to hear that Tabby.

[MrsPigling]

so sorry Tabby :(

[pithivier]

So sad, about the cat, but he died a MN hero.

[Writerwannabe83]

Bloody hell. My family used to do this due to space and grown ups were in one room whilst the children were in another and I felt resentful when I was made to sit at the children's table when I was 10-11 years old!! I can't believe a 22 year old is expected to sit at the 'kids table', that's just ridiculous! I bet she is so, so humiliated.

[Writerwannabe83]

Just seen the update as I hadn't read the full thread - I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I love cats and have unfortunately lost 4 in the past and it is utterly heartbreaking. I'm really sorry you all had to go through that over Christmas

[icklekid]

Have loved this thread hope it all worked out in the end OP

[icklekid]

Have loved this thread hope it all worked out in the end OP

[icklekid]

Sorry on the app and it wouldn't load the end of the thread so just read about your cat. Am so sorry. Well done to your parents for helping. Hope next year you get the Christmas you all deserve

[icklekid]

Sorry on the app and it wouldn't load the end of the thread so just read about your cat. Am so sorry. Well done to your parents for helping. Hope next year you get the Christmas you all deserve

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I've sent icklekid a pm; unfortunate that the end of the thread didn't load for her.

[AmberStClare]

Tabby, so sorry to see such a sad end to the thread. So enjoyed the early part. Lost our old tabby boy last month so sympathise greatly.

[Blogwoman]

Really sorry Tabby

[flumposie]

Sorry for the loss of your cat.