We always spend christmas with my parents. Me and DH, our 2 DSs, Dsis and her family and DB and his. There are big age gaps between us siblings and therefore the cousins.
Since kids came on the scene they've been at a separate "kids" table for reasons of space and my parents being OTT about "mess" (plastic tablecloths, no alcohol, kids crackers etc)
My sister's daughter is much older than the other kids and has selflessly put up with this for years and we've always had a little private joke about how silly it is. She's nearly 22. This year, my DB (aged 40) split with his long term partner and is planning on bringing his new girlfriend, aged 25...
My DN was a bit 
about all this, being quite close with DB, but has lost the plot about the ongoing table arrangements. I think she's probably projecting anger about other stuff onto this situation (loss of DBs partner who we all liked etc) but she is threatening not to come if new GF gets "treated like a grown up" while she's subjected to a boozeless christmas dinner with the little ones.
I am actually quite supportive of her- there must be a more inclusive way to do it all- and have said so to DPs who are having none of it. This silly thing is threatening a bit of a rift- me, DH, DSis and BIL and DN all on same side with the rest of them on the other. Suspect DBs new GF has no clue.
AIBU to support my DN in this admittedly a bit silly fuss? How would you resolve it?
AIBU?
Christmas table controversy
Tabbylady · 18/12/2016 17:47
Sorry for late update. I have even had an inbox request!
Very very sadly, one of our cats was hit by a car on Christmas morning and died. We managed a very informal dinner and presents but the kids were obviously distraught so Christmas was really quite a sad affair. Mum and dad did really try and mum took over the cooking entirely while we buried the cat in the back garden. Everyone sat together at dinner and cat 2 sat on my knee throughout dinner.
Sorry for the sad end to this thread. No one really felt like drinking, but DN will get her prosecco next year I'm sure 
GF was kind and helpful and drove DB and parents home after dinner, before coming back and picking up his kids to take them to their mum's as they just wanted to be with her.
Oh Tabby I'm so sorry. There's never a good time, but Christmas morning is particularly brutal. I'm sorry you all had such a sad day. 
Oh no, so sorry to hear about the cat
Don't know what to say really. It's some comfort everyone pulled together, but such sad circs.
Oh no. So sorry to hear about your cat. This is every cat owner's nightmare scenario isn't it?
How very sad. for you all.
I have an elderly cat. They are such a worry around roads etc.
Glad everyone rallied round for you.
Just caught up with this thread - great thread but so sorry to see the sad update. Losing your beloved pet on Christmas morning is awful
I'm very sorry about your cat, what a bloody awful shock for your family
poor cat
sounds like a little progress has been made regarding the table arrangements though
Oh Tabby I'm so sorry
They really do leave furry paw prints on your heart. I wish you weren't going through this 
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