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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you what I should do tomorrow morning?

56 replies

user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 10:34

So I went to my work's Christmas do on Friday and ended up getting far too drunk .Had quite a lot of the wine on the table and a few drinks tokens. Can't remember past my second pint. Can't remember leaving and getting home.

No idea how to play this on Monday morning. Really worried that I might have done or said something awful. Worst case scenario what if I did something so bad that I get sacked/disciplined/stern words? Best case scenario I just get a bit of ribbing about being a bit drunk. I can't remember past 11, and the do went on until half 1. My last sensible text to my long suffering boyfriend was at half 10.

I'm driving myself a bit mad now thinking what if. Don't want to apologise too much and make too much of a thing of it if I wasn't that bad, but if I was awful I want to get in there and apologise as soon as possible. It's the not knowing!

Before you say, yes, I know, it was ridiculous of me and I could have saved myself all this grief and all this awkwardness had I just paced myself and not got carried away with a free bar.

Any help or advice appreciated!

Further context - in this job 3 months, fixed term 6 months but possible they might extend it. I'm quite quiet at work which makes getting so embarrassingly wasted all the more obvious.

OP posts:
mum2Bomg · 18/12/2016 10:38

You really have no way of knowing how this is going to go unless you have someone at work you are close to who you can call to ask them. If not, you might as well think *uck it and wait for Monday. My DM always says there's no point living through the same thing twice (once in your head and once in real life). Whatever happens on Monday happens and you'll deal with it then. You have no other choice really...be kind to yourself today and chill.

Boundaries · 18/12/2016 10:39

Front it out. Don't mention it until someone else does then say "God, I know! Drinking on an empty stomach 🙄 I felt rubbish on Sat!" Then move on.

chickenowner · 18/12/2016 10:40

Don't say anything, it's possible that no-one else noticed how drunk you were. If you mention it, it will just draw attention to it all.

And don't worry, most people will have been there themselves at some point!

Cornettoninja · 18/12/2016 10:43

You honestly can't remember anything past your second drink? That doesn't sound right even if you were the lightest of light weights to me.

I'd be wondering if my drink had been spiked to be honest.

HemanOrSheRa · 18/12/2016 10:44

You have The Fear. Say nothing when you go into work unless someone says something to you. If there was a free bar then I can almost guarantee that someone else got drunker than you! Also, some people would have gone out again last night and done it all over again. I really wouldn't worry.

Areyoufree · 18/12/2016 10:46

Cornettoninja: depends on how much you normally drink. I used to be a very heavy drinker, and would blackout after a couple of drinks. It basically means that the alcohol has impaired your ability to make new memories. Lovely!

justwanttoweeinpeace · 18/12/2016 10:47

Yep, The Fear. At least one other person that was there will be thinking exactly the same.

Try not to think about it!

YouTheCat · 18/12/2016 10:47

Breeze in in your usual manner and say nothing. Chances are there was someone who was way more embarrassingly drunk or that everyone was as bad and didn't notice.

I went to my work do on Friday and had 3 drinks and then went home, sober. I know what I can be like if I go over the top so was very restrained.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/12/2016 10:51

Just act casually and normally. If anyone says anything just reply with a casual 'yes, I felt terrible the next day' bright and breezy. Don't dwell. You have the fear, but this too shall pass.

Cornettoninja · 18/12/2016 10:52

Areyoufree - you learn something new everyday eh?

I've never been lucky enough to have my brain wipe the horror of my drunken antics from my mind Grin

Original poster
user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 10:55

I'm so annoyed with myself because if I'd just not had the last few drinks, or had a bit more water, or acted like any sensible person I could have had a nice night and avoided this entire situation.

There were so many high up people there last night, and I know what I'm like when I'm that drunk, and it's not great. It's quite a gossipy office/organisation, and while I avoid getting involved when I'm at work, I bet I fully joined in last night. And now I get to be gossiped about.

I have been a bit of a heavy drinker in the past, and blacking out wasn't unusual. Browning out has also been a thing before - forgetting whole periods of time, then being back in the moment, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
ChipIn · 18/12/2016 10:58

I've had a night like this before. Totally shitfaced, in front of clients too. I couldn't remember a thing and I was so worried all weekend and on Monday it was exactly like a normal day. Nobody said anything. Turns out others were also pretty wankered.

Go in like normal. Nothing you can do about it now anyway, even if you did do something.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 18/12/2016 10:58

Are you usually obnoxious when intoxicated, OP?

Unless you have form for being an offensive drunk, I assume you've done nothing terrible and brazen it out until you are told otherwise.

You'll hardly have been the only drunk there. Smile

RobotCulture · 18/12/2016 11:00

Brazen it out.
I've been there. Except to my horror I could remember all the things I did. That's a thread of it's own. (A pole in a bar. Say no more).
I just strolled in like both had happened. Got cornered at the printer with 'remember that dance you did?'
"Yes. How great are work nights out?"

Die inside. Calm outside.
There will be someone who drank more. Or someone thinking that is usually me.

drinkingchanelno5 · 18/12/2016 11:02

Most people will be worrying about what they said/did and won't have a thought to spare for you. Don't worry about it, it's pretty much expected that people let loose at the Christmas party!

Oysterbabe · 18/12/2016 11:03

If you're the girl that works in my husband's office, and there are A LOT of matching details in your post, then the boss's wife drove you home if that helps.

toptoe · 18/12/2016 11:04

You'll probably get a bit of a ribbing but you could explain that you don't normally drink and you didn't eat very much to mitigate. Loads of people get shitfaced at the christmas do and whilst embarassing (and dangerous) generally if you don't do it every year they'll put it down to overexcitment and not eating much.

The talking bollocks when drunk is common too - people would probably have shut down the conversation with you if they thought you said too much or something inappropriate and will put it down to the drink.

Can you not ask a colleague in a subtle way eg 'gosh, it must have been a good night as I can't remember much past 11...I should have eaten more. How did you get home...?' And see what they say.

Original poster
user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 11:05

I can be a bit lairy, and definitely my balance goes and I'm wobbling everywhere and it's really undignified. A subtle drunk I am not. I've got a graze on my arm and my hand so I definitely fell over. I don't worry too much when I get so drunk with friends, but work colleagues are different. I'm in my mid twenties and I make an effort not to appear to be too young at work, I feel like I've made myself look like a really silly girl now and no one will really respect me.

You're all right, though. Playing it over in my head will not help.

OP posts:
Mommawoo · 18/12/2016 11:10

Oh god i've been there! Went out for a quiet drink with a manager then woke up at heathrow airport at 8am the next morning with absolutely no memory of what happened Shock

Head up, smile and brush off any comments about being drunk with a "yep, I know, it happens!" then forget about it. Even if you fully disgraced yourself it'll only be news for a while then the gossips will move on.

But, if you have a problem sticking to just a few drinks then I would advise you to avoid work dos in the future! I never went out with colleagues after the first few dozen humiliations. I have 2 kids now so those days are well and truly over!

VladmirsPoutine · 18/12/2016 11:11

Oyster, pretty sure that doesn't "help" the OP Hmm

bobdylannumber1 · 18/12/2016 11:11

User, I can relate to this situation I've done this got completely drunk cause was red wine at table I was the only one drinking red wine, I remember dancing and nothing else I was really really worried about what I might have said to people I text a colleague told her I was really drunk and asked did I do say anything stupid I hadn't I was dancing then called my husband they saw me getting into the car so I would have worried all weekend so chances are you did nothing stupid,our party is always a free bar very drunk people I would never get that drunk it was the red wine which I love but id never drink wine out again, is there anyone you would get on with that you could ask

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 18/12/2016 11:12

I was at a "team build"/work night out thing years ago where the theme was a 40s style murder mystery.

One of the team leaders (usually vair prim and posh) was wearing a beautiful dress with matching elbow length velvet gloves.

She had had a lot to drink.

Someone complimented her on the gloves. In front of the assembled masses (and her boss), she merrily says, Oh, these old things? I usually only wear them when I'm giving my husband a hand job.

If she can brazen it out (and she did), you can too, OP! Xmas Grin

Original poster
user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 11:14

Hope I've not put too many identifying details in!

Plan of action - going to go in a bit early so I can be at my desk with a brew so I don't get looks when I come in, be a bit vague when asked how it was by colleagues in my team who didn't go, front it out. Mention how great the party was to the organisers in the office, bright and breezy.

OP posts:
4men1lady · 18/12/2016 11:19

Honestly, don't beat yourself up. You have a dose of beer fear and it'll go soon!

I agree with the pp's to just brazen it out. Try and have a good laugh about it and then let it go.

Is there anyone you can text to find out the details for you, like pp said you could be worrying over nothing.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/12/2016 11:19

And remind yourself not to do this again! Grin.

One of my colleagues once told the MD she'd blow him for a promotion, I was Shock. I still cringe at that when remembering these types of stories.

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