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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask you what I should do tomorrow morning?

56 replies

user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 10:34

So I went to my work's Christmas do on Friday and ended up getting far too drunk .Had quite a lot of the wine on the table and a few drinks tokens. Can't remember past my second pint. Can't remember leaving and getting home.

No idea how to play this on Monday morning. Really worried that I might have done or said something awful. Worst case scenario what if I did something so bad that I get sacked/disciplined/stern words? Best case scenario I just get a bit of ribbing about being a bit drunk. I can't remember past 11, and the do went on until half 1. My last sensible text to my long suffering boyfriend was at half 10.

I'm driving myself a bit mad now thinking what if. Don't want to apologise too much and make too much of a thing of it if I wasn't that bad, but if I was awful I want to get in there and apologise as soon as possible. It's the not knowing!

Before you say, yes, I know, it was ridiculous of me and I could have saved myself all this grief and all this awkwardness had I just paced myself and not got carried away with a free bar.

Any help or advice appreciated!

Further context - in this job 3 months, fixed term 6 months but possible they might extend it. I'm quite quiet at work which makes getting so embarrassingly wasted all the more obvious.

OP posts:

TheProblemOfSusan · 18/12/2016 11:20

I don't know if this helps, but in my 20s I did this on more than one occasion, and had The Fear every time, and I had never done anything worse than been a bit pissed and perhaps fallen over. I did a right number on my knee on some tube steps once but to be honest I'm that clumsy that I could have done that sober.

Now this bit might not be relevant to you at all but I mention it on the off-chance that it rings true for you or someone else reading.

It took me a long time to work out that I was really quite unhappy for a lot of this time and suffering very badly from anxiety, which the too-much-drinking both helped in the short term and hindered long term. My anxiety manifests itself in a lot of ruminating about how awful I am, what I had done in the past, what other people must think of me, so feeling free in the moment is great - but then a million times worse in the aftermath.

I still drink now, and very occasionally too much, but just in a "bit silly" way now rather than like what you've mentioned. But working on the anxiety helped a great deal with treating myself better when on a night out, and with a whole host of other stuff. Still a work in progress, though!

Original poster

user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 11:23

Good to know that these things happen to other people too! I mean, I know I'm not the only person to get far too drunk at a work Christmas do, but I have been thinking all about me. Bit of perspective was needed.

I don't really have friends in the office, though actually everyone is quite nice when they aren't being gossipy, so they probably would have tried to rescue me from making too much of a tit of myself. Thank you toptoe, hadn't considered that and that does make me feel a bit better. They wouldn't have given me the rope to hang myself, or have encouraged me.

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NotAMammy · 18/12/2016 11:30

Don't worry about it making you look really young and immature either. Most of the horror stories from works nights out are normally people who are old enough to know better!
If it helps, I think half the office think I had it off with a guy I work with at our do on Friday night because we left together... to be driven home by my husband. But we didn't mention the second part because at the time it was hilarious.

Candlelight123 · 18/12/2016 11:31

Don't worry about it, it's HIGHLY unlikely you are the person oyster has described. There must has been thousands of parties over the weekend.
Pretend nothing happened and just brazen it out if it did! plan what you are drinking for all future parties and don't get carried away, if you can't trust yourself just make an excuse & don't go.

Candlelight123 · 18/12/2016 11:33

Also I've witnessed some horrendous drunken behaviour from very senior middle aged people, so don't worry about looking young & immature. Drunkenness is not just restricted to the young at Xmas parties!

timelytess · 18/12/2016 11:35

Just be your normal self. Wipe that night from your memory and it will soon fall from theirs. Be vague if questioned. Refuse to be embarrassed if they tease, just look unconcerned and move on.

GinIsIn · 18/12/2016 11:39

If you are really worried, have a look for some of colleagues on Twitter and you might be able to piece some more of the night together from their feeds?

DailyFail1 · 18/12/2016 12:59

Everybody expects a bit of undignified behaviour at a christmas party. So as long as you weren't rude or racist then it should be ok.

rollonthesummer · 18/12/2016 13:08

It's a bit scary you don't remember getting home though! Do you think you walked home alone?

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 18/12/2016 13:35

It'll be ok, probably. I've had a few nights out in the past where I've almost made myself I'll worrying about what might be said the next timei saw the co-revelers only to find nothing said at all. Most people are more concerned about what they did and said themselves to worry about other people.

Original poster

user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 15:55

Think I might just have got away with it. 2 pictures resurfaced, sober looking in both. Looks like everyone else was fairly merry so fingers crossed.

OP posts:

Trills · 18/12/2016 16:13

Good luck!

Chances are the worst you did was talk some bollocks, and hopefully everyone else was drunk enough to not remember the details of the rubbish you talked.

PervyMuskrat · 18/12/2016 16:37

I'm planning on fronting it out tomorrow but can completely identify with the anxiety you're feeling. Long term I need to work on my drinking, short term the plan is to eat chocolates and try not to think about it today (easier said than done though!)

Jellybean83 · 18/12/2016 16:41

Ah I don't envy you at all, but most of us have been there.

Everyone was probably as drunk as you to be fair. Walking into work afterwards is always the worst bit but it's never as bad as we build it up to be in our heads, good luck and just laugh it off if anyone does say anything.

Original poster

user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 17:31

PervyMuskrat, that is exactly it. Part of the reason I feel so rubbish is because it's brought to light some things that I don't like very much about myself. Not being able to know when enough is enough and being a mess. Just need to get through this week, then hope it gets forgotten after Christmas. Then for a bit of a word with myself, or something. Think this needs to be a bit of a wake up for me.

Reassured by what I've seen on social media, going to front it out on Monday, smile and nod and laugh it off.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1482055574 · 18/12/2016 17:32

Would just also like to thank you all for your replies - helping me to get out of my head and think about it properly and not just panic.

OP posts:

AmysTiara · 18/12/2016 17:36

Beer fear is horrible. Loads of people will be feeling the same as you. Just brazen it out and say yeah I was hammered haha.

Rachel0Greep · 18/12/2016 19:06

Do exactly as you planned, be at your desk a bit early, brew in hand.
Laugh at any comments passed, I somehow doubt that you were the only one who had too much to drink. It will be fine.

MissMogwi · 18/12/2016 19:21

I can guarantee that in workplaces all over the UK tomorrow, people will have The Fear. It's the unknown that panics you. I have done the same many many times and it's a horrible feeling!

My works do was last week, I didn't go but saw the photos on facebook! Lots of my lovely colleagues felt the same as you and skulked in the office worrying. Apart from the odd overshare and amazing dance offs, everyone had a good night. Sure yours will be the same!

sarahquilt · 18/12/2016 19:38

If you don't remember it, it didn't happen;)

PervyMuskrat · 18/12/2016 19:49

MissMogwi knowing that some of my colleagues may feel the same has actually helped, thanks!

The Morrisons van is here now with the Christmas booze and it's taking everything I have not to have a beer to take the edge off. I know it's a bad idea though so I'm going to stick with Darjeeling

Bluntness100 · 18/12/2016 19:50

The truth is probably most people were a bit or a lot pissed, and honestly they'll be thinking of their own behaviour, as you are, and not thinking of others. Just brazen it out. Say nothing, and if anyone does say anything, just say yes, great night and move on. Admit nothing and don't make a big deal of it.

MissMogwi · 18/12/2016 19:56

Happy to help Pervy if I may call you that

Honestly the state of my work mates last week was a sight to behold! Much puking and mumbles of never drinking again, delete that picture you bastards, etc...

We've all done it, and probably will again. Same time next week folks!

Ricekrispiesquare · 18/12/2016 19:58

I always found that after a particularly bad bender on a Friday night, my work colleagues and I were all so ashamed of ourselves that there was never any mention of said evening when work started on Monday.

You may not have been the only badly behaved one! Someone may have been worse so don't worry

Starwarsorbaby · 18/12/2016 20:54

At a work Xmas do many years ago, I was so drunk I smoked a joint in the pub toilet, flirted with everyone and passed out in the street. Got given a lift by someone I didn't know (but my colleague did), puked in my colleagues hands on the way home and pissed all over the car seat. And that's what I can remember. Had a hangover for 2 days. The horror of a paid bar.

Didn't get the sack though Man, I was embarrassing back then!!

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