To not know what to do now....toddler excluded from nursery.

[Shockedshell]

My 2.5yr old grandson (he lives with me) is no longer welcome at his outstanding, award winning, inclusive nursery.
I know he is a challenging child and it's almost certain he has additional needs, though he does not have a diagnosis just yet, but their decision has upset me greatly and I can't work out how to move forward.
The nursery have told me they had reached crisis point and have run out of strategies to manage his behaviour however, the nursery's application for funding to provide some one to one support was turned down by the SEN Early Years Panel. They said he is simply displaying toddler behaviour but the nursery strongly disagrees with this.
The upshot is I need to find alternative childcare ASAP or give up work but who will want a child that has already been excluded from one nursery and I have no idea how we will cope financially without my wage. Right now I don't think I could actually put my trust in another nursery but I need to do something. How do I work out what?

Surely the fact that the (inclusive well respected) nursery have excluded because they cannot care for him safety without extra funding, is evidence that this child needs extra funding for child care. Whether to support him in a nursery or another setting, is another issue. As a looked after child SS should be helping to get that funding- or get him in the right setting. And perhaps help hurry up assessments.
My son ( later diagnosed with ASD and SLD) did not cope in a nursery setting, and frankly I basically had to give up work. He was much happier in a special needs setting, but it took a lot of fighting to get his needs recognised. The SEN school he eventually attended had a early years unit from age 2.

I feel for you OP my cousin that we fostered was a looked after child with ASD and ADHD but the social services where no fucking use to us they gave us no help at all we where completely left on our own he got thrown out of the nursery that he was in and he got thrown out of 2 schools one of them was a special needs school but no one could cope with him he was really bad he ended up in a really good school but even they struggled to cope with him he put one teach in hospital by throwing a table at her back threw a chair at another teacher he wasn't allowd on the school bus because he would take his shoes off and throw them at the driver and the other kids so he had to have a taxi and support worker in the taxi with him to stop him from throwing his shoes at the taxi driver he got beat up in school by all the older kids for running round telling them that their mum's where dead and she didn't love them then hid behind the teacher so they couldn't get him they waited until break time to get him. During all of this we got no help at all and he was just as bad at home smashed up all my sisters stuff would throw things at her poured a glass of water in her printer tried to push my sister down the stairs and stood there and laughed he was completely unmanageable but we tried our best with him for 4 years it was only after my niece was born and he became a danager to her and himself that we had no choice but to give him up that was the hardest decision we ever made but we did it for him hoping that he would finally get the help and support that he needed that we just couldn't give him the older he got the worse he got and social services just didn't want to know he just got passed round different social workers by the time he left us he had been through 6 social workers in 4 years. But he did get the help that he so desperately needed he is still in his special needs school and he's with a foster family that deals with only SEN kids and he's like a completely different child now that he is getting the help that we spent 4 years asking for they couldn't understand how we had dealt with him for so long because of how bad he was he broke the TV in the children's home that he ended up in and destroyed the other kids stuff that's when social services realised how bad he was and finally got their finger out to do something to help him. OP I really hope the social services give you the help that you need to look after your grandson and I hope you find a nursery placement for him soon no matter how good a nursery is they always seem to just straight away want to give up on the kids that are harder to look after than the others it's not your grandsons fault that he is behaving the way he is I think he has ASD and the nursery needed to try harder to get the funding for him so that he could carry on going to nursery not just give up on him because they didn't get what they needed that's not fair on you or your grandson. Good luck OP I hope it all works out for you in the end.

OP - don't look upon this as such a bad thing. It happened to my DD almost 51/2 years ago, she was biting and the nursery called us in, told us they were going to get her assessed by a SEN assessor, etc etc. I was livid. She was displaying traits she never displayed at home, so the assessor came and went and the result was - she's clever - the nursery isn't stimulating her, it wasn't the result the nursery was expecting. upshot - still expelled. My wife used to be upset every day at the thought of picking DD up and having to listen to the complete and unending reports of incidents, which when i pushed the nursery on where less than 1% of the time they had her for, and got glum faces when i asked about the other 99% of time she was "good"..... We found a childminder, best thing we ever did. Find one, and see how they get on in a much more toddler: carer friendly ratio. DD is doing brilliantly at school. good luck.