To think sod you, you ungrateful little gits

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

DSs (10 and 7) broke up from school today, as did I. Tonight has been a whingefest. To cap it all, when we said we are going to see Santa tomorrow (nice morning out at local museum, do it every year and there is loads to do as well as Santa) they moaned because it is too early in the morning at 10 o'clock.

Told them right, sod it, they don't have to go - but pointed out that I will also ruin their Sunday because we are off to a Christmas market. I dare say the trip to town on Tuesday and the meal out on Thursday will be similarly troublesome.

So, AIBU or are they ungrateful little bastards?

Mine are younger (7 and 3) but we have to get out of the house. They are both tired and could do with a quiet day in but they niggle at each other constantly. The older one wants to do Lego, or play Junior Monopoly, the youngest one wants to be involved but doesn't understand or ends up trashing it. The youngest one wants to do things that the older one says are babyish, they don't want to watch the same things on TV - it all gets very stressful and argumentative and not at all relaxing. So we go out. Get back about 3 and then they are both nicely tired, happy to do their own thing by themselves and we get far fewer arguments. So my answer would not be to stay in and chill, but to go anyway!

The more screen time kids get then the less of anything else they generally ever want to do. Put strict controls on screen time and then discuss what everyone wants to do during the non screen time hours.

They've just broken up for goodness sake at least give them the weekend off to relax and recharge their batteries. YABU.

YABU.

Kids get tired at the end of term, a couple of days of relaxation is what's needed
Maybe they are not interested in seeing Santa when their energy levels pick up.
You sound incredibly mean and spiteful at the idea of revenge.

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time.

YABU

You say you've just finished work, they've just finished a week of school which is the busiest of the year. You ALL need a few days, or at least one, of doing not very much. Next year don't plan any "outings" for the first few days, just everyone chill, it takes all the pressure off and then you'll be ready to enjoy Christmas.

I hate to say it, but I will, but when mine were young, 20 years ago, there just weren't all these Christmas activities and markets etc etc and so the kids we're able to recharge and relax a bit without being micromanaged all the time.

Just wait until they are teenagers......( it's gets worse)...

Let them rest today, but carry on with the other trips as planned.

When DDs were a little older than yours I can remember taking them on a trip to a beauty spot near our holiday home. They whinged all the way there, all the time we were there and all the way back. They then carried on whinging for the next couple of years. Roll on to the present day and they are adults who visit said holiday home independently and whenever they bring friends with them an important part of the trip is taking them to the same beauty spot. They love showing it off.

Children have an uncanny ability to be able to whinge and kvetch whilst still making very happy memories for themselves! Like I said, let them rest today, but then stick to your plans, they will probably enjoy it when they are there.

Another house with end of termitis here, it's always this term - they're either poorly or little shites for a day or so until they recharge! Getting dressed is optional here the day after they break up, yours are likely overloaded and knackered as well - an enforced day of rest will probably pick them up a bit. They'll be right enough tomorrow!

I don't think that they are "ungrateful little bastards" at all.

There comes a time when you just hate being dragged along to what your parents want to do.

Sometimes being told that they are going to be doing x,y & is too much & it's better to play it by ear.

Teenagers-fab.

You can leave them & home & most of the time they can get themselves where they want to be!

Kids are so overwhelmed and knackered this time of year. My two always were when they were at school - this is our second Christmas since we started home ed and the difference is huge. We tend to do very little in terms of Christmas activities other than decorating etc as it's too much for them (they aren't neurotypical mind you, both probably ASD/ADHD so more sensitive to this stuff I guess). But I find less is more certainly.

In a family you sometimes have to do things you don't really want to. Adults go to things for their kids all the time that I'm pretty sure they'd rather not do. Kids should have to do the same sometimes.

Having said that, it sounds like you have a lot planned. I'd cut it back a bit. Make your life a bit easier. Everywhere will be heaving anyway. We break up next Wednesday and I'm pretty full on at work until then. All that I have planned is our traditional trip to the local cheese shop next Thursday.

YABU my 10 year old is chilling on the sofa in her pyjamas, thats what Saturday mornings are for.

Not too old for santa though.

I never had duvet / PJ days when I was growing up, and definitely no sitting in front of the box for hours on end, because I was "tired at the end of term". We did get dragged around the shops, but it was supermarkets (groceries), I hated it at the time but it taught me that food didn't magically appear on the table, it had to be bought and paid for.

I can't believe how over indulged DC are nowadays! The more they are given, the unhappier and less appreciative they become.

If it's a one-off, let it go. If this is regular behaviour then they probably need to learn the hard way that moaning when someone tries to do something nice for them is not the route to getting what they want.

The best way is to operate a "one strike" policy with complaints. You say it's chocolate cake for dessert, they want ice cream, STRIKE! They get nothing for desert. You say they can stay up for half an hour longer than usual, they want it to be an hour, STRIKE! Bedtime at usual time, maybe even earlier.

Children usually need to learn the hard way. In the good old days it was a thrashing, these days that is usually frowned upon so it has to be a case of withdrawing rewards.

We went for supper with Santa at our local zoo yesterday evening. The DCs were utter knob heads on the way there and moaned about having to go out, having to get dressed, having to put on shoes, having to be civil. They loved it when we were there but as retribution were complete dongs before bedtime. I can make allowances for tiredness at the end of a long term (I teach in a Reception class so see first-hand what a term can do to a child) but this was just idiocy because they're spoiled and ungrateful, so I cancelled today's cinema trip and they're festering in their rooms, the big one muttering incantations in the hopes of being given new parents, probably.

Mardy arses get given no rewards here. I can't stand ungratefulness. Mine still do it, though, because it's part of being a DC that you sometimes think the world revolves around you and your whiney voice.

Lol our first day of the holidays and I took the 6 year old to a 8am outdoor workout.
Mine don't seem to winge about trips out but it is the time of year where there is so much on and so much expectation. It wouldn't hurt to cancel the Santa trip as they clearly don't want to go, ask them what they really expect out of the holidays and still take them shopping but with some understanding that one day youll be doing a thing they want (cinema? Duvet and games day?)
Actually life shouldn't revolve around them but if you can manage their expectations it'll be less horrible for you

Agree 10 year old is too old for Santa. Wouldn't you rather do something that makes them happy rather then some traditional idea built up in your mind to make you happy? I'm not criticizing, I've done it many of times! But I'd probably allow them the day home with grandparents when you goto Xmas market and maybe instead of Santa nice hot chocolate and cinema or similar. Mine are 7 and 4 and the 7 year old probably saw Santa for last time this year. He also quizzed me after as to why he was different to portable north pole Santa.. I think 7 can be the age they move on a bit from Santa visits

Very wise post by Liinoo.

I was one of 4 siblings with parents who were heavily and doggedly into travelling, and I can hardly remember one holiday or even one outing when somebody didn't strop or whine or argue or (on occasion) was genuinely unwell or unhappy. And yet, looking they seem such happy memories. Probably because our parents remained cheerfully impervious to it all and didn't let it spoil their pleasure in what they had decided to do. They didn't operate a One Strike policy, more like a Water Off A Duck's Back policy.

Age 10 might also be significant. Around this age ds entered pre-puberty and became the gloomiest wet blanket in the south east of England. It lasted a couple of years and it was like taking around your own personal rain cloud. Nothing was worth doing, the world was going to hell in a hand cart, and his parents (especially his father) Did Not Understand A Thing.

One of my most satisfying memories from this part of my life is the time when we went to Dorset and ds sat down in the water and refused to move because he was sulking. As it so turned out, the place he had chosen to park his miserable bottom was inhabited by a sea anemone and if you sit on one of those and sulk for half an hour you are going to notice it... I can only hope the anemone recovered: the poor thing had done nothing to deserve ds in his Sturm und Drang phase.

He is now a remarkably pleasant and cooperative teenager: he just needed to get it out of his system.

I am at too old for Santa. My DD is almost 10 and is waiting impatiently for our booked trip to FC castle on Monday.

We are having a do nothing day and she's been in to me 4 times to say she's bored. Not too bored to tidy her room or pick up her clothes from all around the living room.

A "rest day" indeed. They haven't been down the mines have they?! And they have Saturdays and Sundays ti "rest". I'm all for being sensitive to kid's needs but it won't hurt them to go out at 10am or to go to a Christmas market.

One of my mother's many sayings was 'you ungrateful little so-and-sos' to me and my brother.
Usually said when we rejected something she'd done 'for us' but we had neither asked for or wanted.

Strangely, I haven't followed my mother's way of parenting and I've never said, never even felt my kids have been ungrateful.
I think it's because I listen to them.

Well, I dragged them out and they agreed it was worth it. Have been chilling ever since.

It's the bloody moaning that irritates me - I am not doing exactly what I want so I will complain and whinge and whine. All those hours I have spent doing what the little fuckers want....

Yes the OP is truly truly evil for getting her kids to go to a Christmas market and see Father Christmas. Horrible, horrible OP.

YABU - they are probably tired from the longest term in the academic year. Maybe their idea of fun is not the same as yours, and you know what? That is ok.

'In a family you sometimes have to do things you don't really want to.'

Hang on - why would grown adults want to go and see Santa? If the children don't want to go then don't force them. Some parents just can't help but cause conflict where the is no need IMO.